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MOVIES

Dr. Kronner’s Joy: THE EXPENDABLES 2

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I was born in 1983, which means that by the time I was old enough to watch and actually understand what was happening in movies, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were the 2 biggest names in Hollywood. Those two were churning out some of the greatest action movies of all time, stuff like Predator, Conan, Terminator, the Rambo series, and the Rocky movies. However, they were also rolling out crap like Cobra and Red Heat too. As young as I was, I couldn’t really tell which ones were destined to be remembered as classics and which were fated to be forgotten (Raw Deal? Lock Up?) but I loved all of them. I was just a kid, but I can remember many an evening spent on the couch with the old man watching Rocky IV or The Running Man and through that, I grew attached to the genre and its stars. The action movies of the era were totally over the top (get it?) and I couldn’t get enough.

the expendables 2Here is Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Willis back when Bruce was still wearing hats everywhere to hide his hairline. This particular one he probably got from the ‘Hudson Hawk’ set…

As the ’80s came to a close, a third action icon would emerge – Bruce Willis. His breakthrough role in Die Hard, still arguably the greatest action movie in existence, placed him rightfully in the conversation with Arnold and Sly, and for years, that was the hierarchy. But, as with every hero, age took its toll. Stallone did Cliffhanger in ’93 and Arnold had True Lies in ’94, but after that they both turned out a series of near unwatchable garbage – The Specialist, Assassins, Daylight, End of Days, Collateral Damage, The 6th Day – the list goes on and on. While Willis would find success in a few more Die Hard movies, even he started to shy away from the genre for a while. That is until 2006 when Stallone, desperate for a hit, went back to the role that made him with Rocky Balboa. At 60 years old, he proved he could still draw audiences and he repeated the feat 2 years later with a 4th Rambo movie. Suddenly, the gears started turning and the movie I had prayed for 20 years earlier began to take shape…

the expendables 2

In 2010, Stallone started recruiting his aging contemporaries to make a star-studded action movie that revolved around the idea that they could all still fire guns and blow shit up, and it was great. Ok, so maybe not ‘great’, but it was entertaining as hell and pure nostalgia was often enough to power you through the weak dialogue and thin plot. Then on Thursday night, August 16th, at about 11:55 pm, I loaded myself into a theater seat and got ready for the sequel to begin. I was not disappointed.

the expendables 2

This time around, we were given not only Stallone (66) and Jason Statham (45) again, as well as much larger roles for Willis (57) and Schwarzenegger (65), but we also get the return of Jet Li (49), Dolph Lundgren (55), Randy Couture (49), and Terry Crews (44). Not to mention the inclusion of Chuck Norris (72 years old!), Thor’s little brother (22), and a 52 year old JCVD! It was awesome. Norris told a ‘Chuck Norris’ joke while going by the moniker ‘Lone Wolf’ (like Lone Wolf McQuade), Van Damme did multiple roundhouse kicks as the villain named ‘Vilain’, and Dolph Lundgren’s backstory was that of his real life – a chemical engineering degree from MIT…it’s like Stallone was writing the script while watching an action marathon on SpikeTV and reading Wikipedia.

the expendables 2

The movie also featured Nan Yu, who’s mostly Chinese resume I’m unfamiliar with. While she wasn’t bad, I would’ve gone with Maggie Q instead. With her resume already boasting adrenaline fueled flicks like Live Free or Die Hard, Mission Impossible: III, and the action-packed TV show Nikita, it just felt like a missed opportunity to grab the biggest cast they could. However, Nan Yu probably has more global pull and that could be why the decision was made. That being said, Yu did kick some ass in here.

the expendables 2

This was a movie that didn’t take itself too serious and delivered on the action. There were a few parts that might have come off as cheesy dialogue-wise, and it’s doubtful many people under the age of 18 could really appreciate most of the references, but for me, at the wise age of 29 – I was thrilled. The Expendables 2 delivered exactly what was promised and didn’t try to be something it wasn’t. The ‘R’ rating is barely warranted as the language wasn’t super harsh, there were zero female chesticles exposed (as Aaron pointed out), and much of the violence was so stylized it wasn’t intensely gory.

There is also something I want to give them credit for – something that seems to be a lost art form in most newer action movies – HOLDING THE GODDAMN CAMERA STILL!  Ever since Spielberg wow’d everyone in ’98 with the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan, directors have been shaking the camera around so much you can’t tell what is happening. Perfect example would be ALL of the Bourne sequels. This time around the camera stayed stationary long enough for us to actually see the action happen – so thank you Simon West (Con Air, The Mechanic).

Overall, while the plot was a little thin and, quite often, the characters just seem to appear out of nowhere for the purpose of delivering a one-liner, this movie was a fun ride, and I think trumped the first movie easily. I give it 4/5 Grizzlies for delivering on its intended purpose and staying fun.

 

Despite the movie only being out a day in its spread its seed of unabashed 80s magnificence, there are already rumors that for the 3rd movie Harrison Ford, Clint Eastwood, and Nic Cage are all wanted.

the expendables 2As sweet as Eric Roberts and JCVD were in the first 2 movies, Nic Cage could be the greatest villain since Hans Gruber if written correctly (Editor’s Note: Honestly, he’d be the best villain ever if written incorrectly, which is what I’m rooting for.-C Tan).  PUT HIM IN A BEAR SUIT!!!

Personally, I’d like to maybe see Linda Hamilton or Sigourney Weaver pop up as they were the baddest ass action heroines around when I was a kid. You could also see if Uma is busy, let her do some more sword play as it will have been over a decade since Kill Bill…

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And, it may just be my movie-riddled mind drawing connections where there are none – but I spotted references to all the following movies – did anyone catch one that I missed?

– Good Guys Wear Black (1978)
– Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
– Conan the Barbarian (1982)
– First Blood (1982)
– Lone Wolf McQuade (1983)
– The Terminator (1984)
– Die Hard (1989)
– Total Recall (1990)

I’m sure there are more, I just have to go see it again…

MOVIES

The Expendables 2 – 2 AM Text Review

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My buddy Aaron is a bartender for a certain movie theater here in Michigan, and on occasion, the theater will have advanced screenings for movies the Wednesday night prior to the film’s release. Well early this Thursday morning I got a few texts from my good friend about his thoughts on Stallone’s newest epic one-liner fest…

Aaron: It’s 2am and I just saw expendables 2 so you gotta wake up!  – 2:21 AM

Aaron: I’d hate to insult the definition of plot by saying this movie had one. It’s more like, simple reasons we’re about to kill these guys. – 2:22 AM

Aaron: That being said, it was the prefect kind of movie for a cheesy ass script.  – 2:22 AM

Aaron: Rambo, Die Hard, Terminator, even Chuck Norris jokes. Lots of action, average acting, some pretty good humor. – 2:24 AM

Aaron: Boob count: Zero. But I’ll give an award to Walker Texas Ranger for having the best kill.  – 2:25 AM

Aaron: 3.5 Grizzlies out of 5. Is that the scale? I don’t know. I’m tired. Leave me alone. Go to sleep. – 2:28 AM


For more of Aaron’s 2 AM Reviews – CLICK HERE!

Movie News & Opinions

Bane’s Costume: Will We Find Out More Later?

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One of the best parts about movies is, in my opinion, the costuming.  Just think how important costumes are – would Daniel Radcliffe be Harry Potter without his glasses on, or would we even believe that Scarlett O’Hara was a selfish, upper-class Southern girl if she wore maid’s clothes?  Heck, costumes are so important that they even have their own award at the Oscars.

First attempt to costume Bane…

That’s why when I saw The Dark Knight Rises in the theatres I actually spent a second or two investigating each new costume that appeared on the screen.  I adored Selina Kyle’s classy, Audrey Hepburn-style dresses and accessories, that is when she wasn’t kicking ass in her (thankfully) full-coverage Catwoman disguise.  However, what really piqued my interest was Bane’s entire ensemble and how much it horrifically reminded me of soldiers’ uniforms from central and eastern Europe during World War II.

Apparently, I was not too far in my thinking.  In a recent interview with GQ, The Dark Knight Rises‘s costume designer, Lindy Hemming, said that the costuming department specifically looked for the type of military coats that people would wear in Eastern Europe or Northern Pakistan, “where  [mercenaries] find military surplus and wear it” (GQ).  Hemming also said that Christopher Nolan asked for Bane’s outfit to be a bit reminiscent of the French Revolution, so she tried to envision and create a coat that had a high collar which then bends back down.  Finish Bane off with pants tucked into army boots and some heavy knee pads and you’ve got one scary-looking son of a bitch.

But what about Bane’s funky-looking belt and gas mask?  That’s a good question. One that was apparently answered during the filming of the movie, and yet, all of those scenes were excluded from the final cut.  Hemming expressed her disappointment in this decision and said that there was originally a lot more backstory for Bane.

In regards to his belt, she pointed out that it was a combination belt and back brace for whatever injury happened to his back to cause the scars we see.  She said, “One of the fundamental things about his costume is that he has this scar from the back injury. Even if he hasn’t got the bulletproof vest on, he still has to wear the waist belt and the braces. In that scene in the prison, where he’s learning to fight the same way Batman learned to fight, he’s wearing an early version of his waist belt. It’s showing support, but it’s not the finished one he eventually wears” (GQ).

As for Bane’s gas mask, Hemming explained that one scene shot for the film clearly showed Bane being beaten by people while he was wearing an early version of his mask.  She also said that there was an entire other scene to help clarify where the mask even came from, and why he has to wear it.

I believe it’s a shame that these scenes were not included in the final cut of the film because the clothes really do make the man.  Without the information about why Bane wears a gas mask or a brace belt for his scars and back, he suddenly becomes a little less intimidating, and also a little less goal-oriented.  Is what he’s doing in TDKR affected by more than the little bit of his past that was revealed to us?  We don’t know and can’t know yet, but hopefully the producers will realize this aspect of Bane’s character is necessary for developing the overall story and legend of the Batman legacy and include these cut scenes as special features in the DVD release.

Movie News & Opinions

Daredevil Movie Rights to Revert Back to Marvel Studios

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So remember all of the hullabaloo the other day about Fox giving up Daredevil or possibly some Fantastic Four characters? (If not, then read the article HERE.) Well Fox made their move and it was to simply…. Do nothing with Daredevil. Deadline, Variety and IGN have all reported that Fox fully intends to do nothing with a Daredevil movie by the October 10th deadline. Apparently they don’t feel that Daredevil is necessary when they have the full stable of X-men characters and the Fantastic Four. I have to say it at least seems like Fox is now heading in the right direction since X-men: First Class was released. Now it even seems like they may be having the good ole’ canucklehead set down the right path in the upcoming The Wolverine. Hugh Jackman has been out promoting the film as a standalone story, completely separate from Wolverine: Origins. Hey, if Logan can have amnesia and forget the horrible events of the first movie then we sure as hell can… and will if I have anything to say about it.

I’m definitely glad that Daredevil is heading back to the care of Marvel Studios. They’ve been producing hits left and right with their characters since the first Iron Man movie came out and have a lot of faith that they’ll continue the tradition with the Man Without Fear. There is no word as of yet whether or not Joe Carnahan will still get a shot at directing the movie, but I would imagine that Marvel has it’s own ideas about who they’ll want to use. Personally I think that Carnahan had the right vision for Daredevil, wanting the movie to be in the vein of a 70’s crime thriller and I hope they at least sit down and talk with the guy.

Another interesting tidbit would be that Fox retains the rights to the character Elektra who, let’s face it, plays a pretty big part in the comic world of Daredevil. I’m thinking they can either have a renamed character similar to her in the movie (or future movies) or use another dangerous femme fatale who has spent a lot of time with Matt Murdock in the superhero world and the bedroom; Black Widow. As you may or may not know, in the comic books the pair dated at one point and I think it could be perfect for a movie crossover for the two characters. Hell, Daredevil was more recently on an Avengers team in the comic world so it may not be out of the realm of possibility to have him in the Avengers 2. It probably wouldn’t happen, but unlike Fox, Marvel now has all of the time in the world to make their Daredevil movie. And this true believer has all of the confidence in the world that they can do it right.

MOVIES

Grizzly Review: The Bourne Legacy

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There is an irony to The Bourne Legacy. The soldiers in the movie blindly do what they are told and never question the mission or authority. If an important task needs to be accomplished, they go head first, with an eye on the prize and don’t blink. They are only controlled by what seems to be a reliance on the same two sets of pills. The redundancy of these tasks echoes the movie. The film charges forward without questioning its path despite the ripe material it glances upon but we continue to eat it up because we don’t question the monotony of what we view on the screen, which results in a generic action thriller that only scratches the surface of a greater story.

In the fourth installment of this series, Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner) is a genetically enhanced field agent similar to Jason Bourne (Matt Damon, who shows up in spirit only). He is part of the Outcome program, a more sophisticated, controlled program than Treadstone from the first three films. These soldiers are genetically enhanced for higher motor and physical skills, as well as better mental dexterity and ability. They have a reliance on a set of two pills, as previously mentioned, which breaks down into the blue and green. It does remind of The Matrix in which the control and enhancement of their abilities is based on whether they take the pills or not. The major difference is if they take the pills, they play into the control aspect of being reliant on their prescriptions from their providers (granted, if they don’t take the pills, they probably get shot).

Unfortunately for these Outcome members, Jason Bourne is happening. More specifically, the third movie’s events, The Bourne Ultimatum, is running concurrently during this movie. He raises the profile of the possibility of other programs in the CIA so in turn, all evidence must go. That includes Outcome and its members. So Aaron Cross must survive and find answers, and of course, he is almost out of the pills so he must find a doctor connected to Outcome (Rachel Weisz, who follows the Hollywood tradition of aging backwards) in order to get his dosage and survive.

The best part about the Bourne movies were its ability to take a small detail and make it rich in detail, or provide an essential purpose. Whether looking at the limits of patriotism or the idea of fighting for freedom with people who had theirs taken from them, I loved the Bourne Trilogy because there was that underlying message of the cost of ‘whatever it takes’. Of course, being able to use a magazine to disarm someone or a towel to take out a knife wielding villain helps too. I feel this movies brushes against these issues yet won’t attach themselves to them.

Edward Norton plays Eric Byer, the guy tasked with cleaning up the Treadstone mess and anything related to it but him and his character were surprisingly one note. There was no tension on what he provides on-screen, no sense of urgency that he felt like a character born out of the necessity of moving the plot along. He was there to explain to the audience why Aaron Cross is the person we were following in this movie. Byer and his team were into the players from The Bourne Ultimatum like Pamela Landy (Joan Allen), Ezra Kramer (Scott Glenn), Albert Hirsch (Albert Finney), Noah Vosen (David Strathairn) and the most frustrating thing was to not watch their stories unfold. I wanted to know how or if there were going to be punished for their roles in the clandestine world of black ops, whether Landy uncovering Treadstone made her a patriot or a traitor to the country; if CIA Director Kramer covered up what was the best means possible to get the job done and if the ends justified the means; if Dr. Hirsch opened up the gates to super soldiers; or if Vosen was correct in his definition of patriotism and loyalty to his nation. I got none of this. Writer and director Tony Gilroy went the wrong way for this movie because it merely scratches the surface and nothing more.

It doesn’t help that the movie was boooorrrriiinnngggg. This is of no fault to Renner or Weisz, who were both good in their roles. The flick just comes up short and as it just wants to be a carbon copy of actions movies. For the first third of the movie, I felt I was watching The Grey. The chase was straight out of The Bourne Ultimatum. Heck, I felt like I was watching Spy Game during certain pockets of the movie. I wasn’t sure if I was watching a survivalist movie, a straight action flick, or a detailed espionage flick. Regardless, we’ve seen the movie before. It brings nothing new to the table and sadly, felt like it had no purpose. This movie did not follow its namesake and expand upon the legacy of Bourne. The action was decent but never anything ground breaking or having cause to talk about it right after the movie about “hey, did you see that one part?!”

There were good parts in the movie, such as the Manila rooftop and car chase (although I’m biased coming from the motherland myself) and less reliance of shaky-cam but this movie could have been so good. Maybe my expectations were too high dealing with the Greengrass/Damon combination. There is no creativity in the movie and that takes away from the mythology of Bourne. Even more frustrating is how the movie just ends with no real resolution to the plot or characters in this story. This movie is nothing more than diversionary ploy to look aesthetically pleasing yet provide no answers while asking the wrong questions. Skip the Bourne ‘Letdown’.

On a side note, another program that is chasing Cross all around Manila, is a beta subject that exhibits even less empathy. He basically came off as the Asian T-1000. Sunglasses, police motorcycle, him running and giving the quick turn and stare before launching him arms in perfect 90 degree swinging motion…seriously entertained Dr. Kronner and myself. Some of my exes might even think that’d be me considering how “emotionally unavailable” I am…So apparently based off of that, I am the next Jason Bourne – with NO EMPATHY.

MOVIES

Grizzly Review: The Campaign

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Enter The Campaign: Cam Brady, a strange mixture of both George W. Bush and Bill Clinton is a congressman running for another term, this time completely unopposed. That is until political nobody Marty Huggins enters the race at the behest of his retired, politician father (Brian Cox) and his former campaign contributors. (Both played by a terribly underutilized Dan Aykroyd and John Lithgow.)  As shown throughout the trailer for this political satire, a vicious match of mud slinging ensues which honestly just gets tired by about the middle of the movie.

The Campaign suffers from two things: Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis exhibiting their same old schtick, and the majority of the laughs being shown in the trailer I mentioned above. I’m not saying that there weren’t funny parts in the movie, but they were so few and far between that I had trouble not checking the time on my cell phone, and that‘s knowing that other moviegoers hate lit cell phone screens in the theater. I almost felt like people in the theater were cautiously laughing at certain scenes just so it wouldn’t make the movie seem so terrible.

A movie with a comedic cast of this caliber should have had me throwing up from laughter. Ferrell and Galifianakis should make that a guarantee, but when their shenanigans aren’t enough shouldn’t Jason Sudekis, Dan Aykroyd and John Lithgow somehow be able to pull us though? Shockingly enough, extra laughs were secured with me by Dylan McDermott who stole the scene every time he appeared on-screen. His dochebaggery as the smooth, relentless campaign manager to Marty Huggins was a welcome addition to the movie from an actor I had no idea could make me laugh the few times I did. Hopefully he’s in a few more roles like this in the coming years. He could be the next Channing Tatum in terms of how I went from absolutely hating C-Tates to actually liking him after 21 Jump Street. But that still doesn’t mean I went and saw Magic Mike.

Overall this movie serves a way to point out how corrupt politics is and how stupid a select two portions of the American population are ideologically. The only thing is, I don’t think that the audience needed a movie to tell us all of these things. And if the studio felt like they needed to then they could have done it in a funnier way. I had a much better time and more laughs watching a walking, talking, pot smoking teddy bear this year for God’s sake! 2 out of 5 Grizzlies is what I say! That dog WON’T hunt Monseigneur!

Be sure to check out our 2 A.M. Text Review of The Campaign also!