Tag Archives: David Koechner

Trailer Roundup: Piranha 3DD, Neighborhood Watch, Frankenweenie and More!

March 4, 2012 Scoot Allan Leave a comment

Piranha 3DD

Having awoken from their spring break extravaganza at Lake Victoria, the swarm heads upstream where they look to make a meal out of Big Wet, a local water park where when it comes to fun, nobody does it wetter! Thought they came to get wet, get loaded and get some, the staff and patrons get more than they bargained for when they must face the fiercest, most bloodthirsty piranhas yet.

Stars: 3D Boobs. Oh, and Danielle Panabaker, Chris Zylka, Katrina Bowden, Allison Mack, Ving Rhames, David Koechner, David Hasslehoff

Release Date: TBA 2012

Continue reading Trailer Roundup: Piranha 3DD, Neighborhood Watch, Frankenweenie and More! →

Movie Trailers

Movie Trailer Roundup: MiB III, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, The Expendables 2 and MORE!

December 14, 2011 Scoot Allan 4 Comments

Men in Black III

The MIB duo of Agent Jay and Agent Kay are back in action. When the world is threatened by an evil alien, Agent Jay travels back in time to 1969, where he teams up with the younger Agent Kay to stop an evil villain named Boris from destroying the world in the future.

Stars: Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Emma Thompson, Josh Brolin, Alice Eve, Jemaine Clement

Release Date: May 25th, 2012

Continue reading Movie Trailer Roundup: MiB III, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, The Expendables 2 and MORE! →

Movie News & Opinions

Hasslehoff + Piranha + 3D = OMFG

May 13, 2011 Stephen Sanchez 3 Comments

If there was anything that could put Piranha 3DD over the top for best worst movie ever, it would be this bit of news from IGN:

David Hasselhoff has been cast in the latest water-terror film, Piranha 3DD, Dimension Films has announced.

The action star/recording artist/author/pop-culture phenomenon joins a cast that already includes Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Paul Scheer, Gary Busey, Katrina Bowden, Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Chris Zylka and David Koechner.

Piranha 3DD is set at a water park that becomes infested with the infamous flesh-eating fish. We don’t yet know what role The Hoff will play, but the film is set for release on November 23.

Man, I can’t wait to see who Hasselhoff plays in this movie. Perhaps an exterminator who specializes in destroying prehistoric piranha? Maybe a water park mogul? Hell I’d even be satisfied with a singer who is adored by the people of Germany at this point. Maybe we’ll even get to see him in a scene where he’s drunk and mowing down a big ol’ fish sandwich.

Either way, if that didn’t make you want to see this piece of cinematic art in the theater on day 1, then you are not a human and have no soul to speak of. However the picture below will most likely suck the living soul out of your body into the disgusting black hole that is the Hoff’s man thong.

Movie Trailers

New Trailer: ‘Final Destination 5’

May 10, 2011 Stephen Sanchez 1 Comment

For those of you who don’t know about everyone else, but I’m so ready for another Final Destination movie. Seriously, I laughed at more in the third and fourth sequels than during most recent comedies. I know that may sound sick, but the deaths are so ridiculous in the movies that it’s really hard not to. These are deaths befitting Looney Toons characters not real people.

Granted, the movies should probably be strictly straight to DVD at this point but if you have a whole bunch of idiots (this guy!) willing to shell out ten bucks a ticket for some cheap laughs in shitty 3D, then they’ll still be theater releases. Check out the trailer below:

I honestly thought that they were trying to make the movie a little on the scary-serious side but there was no such luck once you seen the guy on the acupuncture bed fall off onto the floor. It looked really God awful. But hey! Tony Todd is back!

final-destination-5 — “Hurry! We have to get this stupid movie over with!”

Regardless of it’s levels of suckiness, if me and about six friends can all get together and go see it so we can be the only ones in the theater laughing: I’m all in! Please comment below on this monstrosity of the cinema!

Movie News & Opinions

Piranha 3DD!

May 6, 2011 Stephen Sanchez 1 Comment

Piranha 3D was a decent horror flick. (More like a comedy for me) It must have had a good budget because the special effects weren’t too bad and they had quite a few recognizable faces in it. You would probably call actors like Elizabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Richard Dreyfuss and Jerry O’Connell washed up actors but they are recognizable faces nonetheless. I can’t bring myself to put Christopher Lloyd in that same category because of my love for Back to the Future. According to Yahoo!, Lloyd, Rhames and ‘The League‘ star Paul Scheer will all be returning for the sequel.

So the next Pirhana flick will be called Piranha 3DD, and I really have no f–king idea what the extra D is for. A funny play on words perhaps, (the third piranha movie will be 3DDD?) or maybe a lot of the chicks in it will be sporting double D’s? I’m not sure. But maybe, just maybe the extra stands for: Gary Busey? I know that makes no sense but regardless he will be in Piranha 3DD.

Gary Busey as you may know is f–kin’ nuts. The Gary Busey Show was the last thing I saw him in and I couldn’t figure out if he needed to go into rehab or desperately needed a lobotomy. The show sucked and I hear now you can see his crazy ass on Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice. I’m glad Busey will be in this newest fish-fest because he will make it that much more hilarious. Speaking of hilarity, one of my favorite funny guys will be in the movie as well. David Koechner will be joining the Busey in combating (I hope) crazy hyper evolved piranhas. I don’t know what it is about Koechner but every time I see him in a movie I laugh instantly upon seeing him. I laugh even harder after the character he is playing speaks, the man just has a natural talent for it.

Also joining the 3D fray will be 30 Rock actress Katrina Bowden, who plays Cerie on the show. No word on if she was will play a level headed female lead character or one of the many beautiful party girls that become fish food like in the first Piranha.

After this installment I would imagine the franchise will move to the straight to DVD realm, unless Piranha 3DD somehow manages to churn up as much money as it’s predecessor.

Grizzly Bomb