Taylor Swift vs. Fey and Poehler, the Internet Battle of the Ages

March 5th, 2013 might just go down in history as the day the internet experienced a schism. The line has been drawn in the sand and the people of the internet have taken sides. In one corner, the fans of whiny “my daddy paid a lot of money and now I’m a star and deserve to win all the prizes” Taylor Swift, and in the other corner, the incredibly talented and witty and good looking fans of two women who possess similar qualities, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

What has prompted this bad blood between the factions? Well, let’s head back a few months to the night that the aforementioned Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted the Golden Globes.

Taylor Swift loses to Adele

In case you needed a reminder, Taylor Swift lost to Adele and wasn’t too thrilled about it. See, Ms. Swift is not used to not winning and it took her a minute to process this new sensation. Not only that but she was the butt of a joke. Did you catch that? She, Taylor Swift musical princess, was the butt of a joke. So, you can sympathize that she had a rough night. There have been many times I’ve been the butt of a joke that I’ve had to take to my bed for days so the fact that sweet Taylor was able to sit there, fighting through the pain like a brave soldier, is inspiring.

The joke? Tina Fey and Amy Poehler had the audacity to comment on Taylor’s very public dating life. Here’s the thing, the image put out (that word choice will be funnier in a minute) by Swift and her people is that Taylor’s a bit of a ho. Okay, maybe not a ho ho, maybe the Disney princess version of a ho, but she does seem to get around. Weirdly, she seems to have a thing for Nickelodeon boy band types, and she’s gone through her fair share of them.

Now, before everyone gets all up in arms about how “I DON’T KNOW HER LYFE!!1!!”, you are right. I don’t, and neither does Tina Fey or Amy Poehler, but a big part of the whole celebrity thing is, the public only has what you put out to go off of and that is what Fey and Poehler made a joke about.

Taylor Swift

So joke is made, two months pass, Adele wins an Oscar, all is forgotten. Except it isn’t. Apparently, Taylor Swift has some inside knowledge on the afterlives of our favorite funny girls. Brace yourself, for this is some deep stuff right here.

[quote]“You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people,” Taylor Swift tells Vanity Fair contributing editor Nancy Jo Sales on the subject of mean girls in general and in response to an incident at this year’s Golden Globes, where Amy Poehler and Tina Fey mocked her highly scrutinized love life. “Because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’” –VF Daily[/quote]

I missed the press release but apparently Taylor Swift is now the voice of today’s feminists. Our new anthem is now one of many of Taylor Swift’s empowering songs about either a.) wanting to date a boy b.) being broken hearted because said boy has left or c.) wishing all types of ill will upon boy’s new girlfriend.

Yes, this is exactly who should lead a new generation of women. This is the voice they should be following.

Or… and I’m just spitballing here, they could turn instead to someone like Amy Poehler whose YouTube channel, Smart Girls at the Party, is filled with empowering things for young women as opposed to pining over a boy.

That’s right, Amy Poehler has an entire YouTube channel geared towards advice for girls that goes beyond how to properly cry over a “lost love”.  Not only that, when she heard about where she will spend all eternity?

[quote]”Aw, I feel bad if she was upset. I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff. ” –THR[/quote]

That is how you respond to someone saying something badly about you. Tina Fey? The same Tina Fey who has been very active in women’s rights issues? Who wrote an entire movie about bullying? She pretty much said what everyone else is thinking.

[quote]”If anyone was going to get mad at us, I thought it would be James Cameron, I did not see that one coming. It was a joke. It was a lighthearted joke.” –ET[/quote]

A joke. Of course there are some who thinks it’s hypocritical for Fey to make Mean Girls and then joke about Taylor Swift. Does this new Taylor Swift version of feminism mean that we aren’t allowed to make comments about another women ever? In addition to the joke about Michael J. Fox’s son, they also said that maybe Swift take some time to focus on herself, advice pretty much every 23 year old needs to hear. Especially a 23 year old that still has an “I’m Rick James bitch!” attitude

I think we can go ahead and call this internet battle over. It has been won. Surely there’s a Harry Potter vs. Twilight argument out there that hasn’t been hashed out yet.

Taylor Swift
Credit to: PeachyApricot

Best part of the entire situation? Somewhere Katie Couric is sitting at a desk wondering, “how the hell did I get roped into all this?”

Taylor Swift

If you care to get a glimpse of what the “other side” is saying, check out this collection of tweets Uproxx put together after the Golden Globes. A preview of the eloquence:

Tina Fey tweet

2013 Pilot Watch: NBC Dramas

So last time we covered some of the new comedy pilots NBC has ordered this year but let’s take a moment and look at their dramas. Surprisingly their drama line-up isn’t nearly as dismal as their comedy. Granted that’s because there’s not much of a line-up in the first place thanks to The Biggest Loser and The Voice filling up a lot of air time, but they have had success with last year’s newbie Grimm and of course, Parenthood.  Add to that this year’s rookies, Chicago Fire and Revolution, both of which are likely to be renewed and there aren’t a lot of slots needing to be filled.

There is the spot left vacant by the “two episodes and done” Do No Harm and it’s possible that Law and Order: SVU might finally be on its way out so perhaps some of these new pilots will find a new home on the peacock? Time will only tell.

[tabgroup][tab title=”Believe”]

Can lightening strike twice with J.J. Abrams on NBC? I imagine they certainly hope it can. After the success of this year’s Revolution, NBC is pairing up with Abrams again for Believe. This time instead of a prepper’s NBC Pilotdream world, Believe is about a “gifted young girl” who teams up with an ex-convict who is supposed to protect her from evil forces who are after her power.

I can easily seeing this one making to series, not only because of Abrams name but they’ve got quite a few other nice names attached. The pilot was created and will be directed by Alfonso Cuarón who has written and directed some great movies in recent years such as Y Tu Mamá También and Love in the Time of Hysteria. He also directed Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. It appears as if he has done a television show before, but not here in the US. I’m looking forward to seeing how he writes for American television.

The cast is also intriguing with the extremely under-utilized Delroy Lindo, and the mayor of Portlandia himself, Kyle Machlaclan who is set to play a “mysterious billionaire”. In my head I’m imagining his Captain character from How I Met Your Mother with a serious side.

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[tab title=”Bloodline”]

NBC Pilot

This pilot has perhaps the most in-depth logline ever that makes me envision a graphic novel version of Romeo and Juliet based on the set of Desperate Housewives.

[quote]The Kill Bill-esque stylized drama follows an orphaned girl named Bird Benson who’s caught between two families of murderers and mercenaries. In order to eventually have a normal life, Bird learns, she must defeat her mother via mortal combat.[/quote]

If it doesn’t get a series order, I’m really hoping they at least let us see the pilot because something like that needs to be seen by the masses. In addition to a great premise, it has some great actors involved. With Breaking Bad ending their run, Jonathan Banks has signed on to be a “villainous patriarch” (EW). I’m of the opinion that both he and his Bloodline co-star, Tom Everett Scott can’t be on my television enough. Add in Skyler Samuels from the ABC Family one season, The Lives of Chloe King and it looks to be promising.

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[tab title=”Wonderland”]

Although NBC already has a fairy-tale based show in Grimm, they are looking to perhaps tap more into ABC’s Once Upon A Time audience with this pilot based on Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. ActuallyNBC Pilot ABC first had the rights but then released it due to it being too similar to Once Upon a Time as well as it apparently being rather costly to produce. So costly as a matter of fact, that it has been pushed a bit back to a mid-season review.

Does that move show that NBC is intending to bring it to air? Well they did the same sort of thing with the Munsters relaunch and of course the Wonder Woman show so there’s really no telling. All I know is I enjoy Once Upon a Time and would be okay with watching a show based in Wonderland.

There hasn’t been any casting announced yet but the show, created by Anthony Zuiker who brought us CSI and its countless offshoots, is set in modern time with a mystery that can only be solved in Wonderland which is ruled by a queen who we once knew as a young girl named Alice.

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[tab title=”Rand Ravitch”]

The premise of the untitled Rand Ravitch project seems vanilla at best, yet another political conspiracy show, much like ABC’s Scandal and Netflix’s House of Cards. I’d be willing to guess that NBC is hoping (praying, and wishing) that they can capture some of the success those two shows have had.

NBC Pilot

While the idea of the this pilot doesn’t blow my skirt up, the casting so far certainly does. Gillian Anderson is coming back to TV. Granted this isn’t news as she was already making a return on NBC’s Hannibal, but that is just as a guest appearance. This project makes it to series and it’ll be like the 90’s again, Gillian Anderson on the small screen every week. Joining her are Rachel Taylor from the short lived 666 Park Avenue and the incredibly easy on the eyes, Lance Gross from House of Payne.

Of course, if this does make it to series and it is good, then we will have to start lighting candles in the hopes it doesn’t end up on the chopping block like Ravitch’s last series, Life. That one still stings.

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[tab title=”The Sixth Gun”]

NBC Pilot

This show, based on the graphic novel of the same name, is probably one I’m looking forward to most. Outside of maybe Bloodline, it seems to be the most “different” projects contending on a prime time slot. Has there been a western on network television in the last ten years? I don’t think so. Justified over on FX is NBC PilotWesternesque and then of course HBO’s Deadwood, but I don’t know that we’ve seen a western on a big 5 channel since the ill-fated Firefly. That alone is enough to check it out.

Another reason? W. Earl Brown. The man is just the embodiment of what an actor in a Western should be so it makes sense that he’s done time on both Deadwood and Justified. He’s been cast as General Oleander Hume who we all know found the six guns. There hasn’t been an announcement yet as to who will play Drake Sinclair or Hume’s wife but Silas Hedgepeth will be played by Graham McTavish (who has a voice anyone who has played a video game in the last five years will recognize) and Aldis Hodge (Leverage) will also be on the hunt for the guns as Agent Mercer.

The Sixth Gun had already been a “thing” at SyFy a couple of years ago before they dropped it, so here’s hoping it has more success on NBC.

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[tab title=”Hatfields and McCoys”]

In a surprise to no one, there is a TV series of the infamous feud between the Hatfields and McCoys in the works. After the raging success of History Channel’s miniseries, it really was only a matter of time. Honestly,NBC Pilot given the built-in drama of the families, it lends itself to good TV.

However, this show? Will not be good. I would place good money that it will just suck. First off, they are taking the two families out of Kentucky and West Virginia and putting them in modern day Philadelphia. I can only imagine that the pig that started it all will probably be something stupid like a real estate deal for a new condo development. This will likely be a typical crappy nighttime soap in the tradition of Dallas or the new Dallas.

I really wish Virginia Madsen had not been cast in this because I really like her. Oh well, if history tells us anything, this will probably be extremely popular and Madsen will have a nice run. Good for her.

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So there we go – potential NBC dramas! Some good, some really bad. Not a bad looking group of shows though for a network that is looking to crawl their way out of the ratings basement. We’ll just have to tune in come September to see if any of them give NBC the boost they so desperately need.

Next up… ABC!

Update: As series orders roll in, see how I did across the board!
NBC Comedies
ABC
CBS
FOX and The CW

SNL: Justin Timberlake Returns – Advertisers Leave…

Whenever Justin Timberlake has a new movie or album or new outlook on life, everyone starts wondering… “when will he be on SNL?” Well thankfully it’s this weekend! As is customary, they’ve filmed and released their promos and it does nothing but make me more excited for this weekend’s show. I’m really looking forward to seeing if they do anything to honor his membership into the “Five-Timers Club”.

http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/xnxx-92/widget/widget.html?vid=n33549

I know I’m not alone, but I wish Timberlake would give up this whole music career thing he’s going for and just join the cast of SNL full time. Wouldn’t that make the world a better place? Solve the hunger problem in America? Stop all wars? No? Well okay then, but still, it would be pretty awesome because nothing makes me happy happy happy like Justin Timberlake on my TV on a Saturday night.

Phil Duck Commander

Sadly, there is a group of people that will likely not be partaking in the fun, as they are still really butt hurt over the “Djesus Uncrossed” sketch that aired during the February 16th episode, hosted by Christoph Waltz. I thought the outrage had calmed down, but apparently the people over at American Family Association have taken it upon themselves to alert SNL advertisers and call for them to pull their ads from the show. If Fox News is to be believed, JcPenney and Sears have done just that.

I find it hard to believe that JcP will bend to the AFA given their reaction to similar group’s response to their hiring of Ellen as their spokesperson but this is a crazy world we live in so, who knows? At the end of the day, none of this really matters because come Saturday night, it’ll be this guy and the ads run during the show won’t have any effect on how awesome it will be.

Justin Timberlake instagram

‘Iron Man 3’ Trailer #2: Voiceovers, Dramatic Music, and a Ton of New Armors!

The second trailer to the much-anticipated Iron Man 3 has hit the web, and it certainly doesn’t disappoint. This trailer steps it up quite a bit from the first one, which was pretty decent on its own. We get to see a great deal more of the various characters of the film, and a clear change in direction after Iron Man 2. A step away from the character driven humor into a more serious but still action-packed film. Why am I still talking right now, let’s watch the trailer.

Continue reading ‘Iron Man 3’ Trailer #2: Voiceovers, Dramatic Music, and a Ton of New Armors!

SNL: 38.14 – Kevin Hart & Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

After last week’s episode was so strong, I figured there would be a bit of a lag this week, and I was right. However, Kevin Hart still made the show entertaining with his earnest efforts and high energy. The show kicked off with a typical politically themed cold open, and it started so slow that I almost just quit watching for a moment. Thankfully I kept with it otherwise I might have missed the most fabulous thing I’ve seen on my television in a while.

YMCA SNL
Credit to: liz-lemonism

Yes, the sequestration is going to hit our country hard, especially the gay sailors, cops, construction workers, and Native American chiefs. Very sad. Very sad indeed. However, their loss is my gain because I could just watch that gif for hours.

Credit to: communified
Credit to: communified

While the monologue ran a little long, I loved it. It wasn’t some pointless musical number and Hart didn’t just stand there nervously fumbling his lines, rather he came out and did a stand up bit. The hobo palming some dude’s sandwich at Panera was awesome. Especially when he turned it into his fear of the hobo’s germs when he touched his lip. I was dying. The story of his audition at SNL was good, but not as good but it did what very few monologues I’ve ever seen on SNL do, it told a complete story! There was a beginning, a middle, and an end. Not only that but it had a flow to it and made sense. If I was a creative writing teacher I’d probably be giving him some good marks. I’m not, so I’ll just sit here being impressed.

The Steve Harvey Show sketch is not one that needs to be right after the monologue but this is not the first time this year they’ve done that. Much like the “Girlfriend’s Talk Show”, it just doesn’t have the energy in it to fill that slot. I did like Nasim with the stuffed horse though, no real reason behind it, I apparently am just a fan of watching Nasim Pedrad stand next to large stuffed animals.

You know the minute the camera comes up on Jason Sudeikis as Wolf Blitzer that it’s pretty much guaranteed to be funny. This time “The Situation Room” covered the papal election and I honestly did not see the punchline coming at all. Kevin Hart as Pope Quevenzhane Wallis was hysterical. Complete with her puppy purse and curly hair, perfect.

Pope Quvenzhané Wallis

Kevin Hart makes an adorable little girl turned Pope and his Latin is quite good. Of course having taken Latin in high school, it was like I finally had a little moment where it all paid off. Who needs Spanish when you can spend three years of your adolescent life in preparation for fifteen seconds of an SNL episode? Ego sum homo indeed.

The Verissimo commercial made another appearance as did Bobby Moynihan and Cecily Strong’s worst employees ever. Apparently after leaving their high-powered careers at McDonalds, they found jobs at Barnes and Noble but again find themselves potentially getting fired. I like this bit and these characters because Moynihan and Strong are on point when it comes to timing and delivery of their barbs, but perhaps there needs to be a bit more time in between their appearances. It seems like they did the same exactShirts at half mast thing just in different colored shirts.

Weekend Update was great! Most of the headline jokes were good with my favorites being college girls raising their shirts to half mast in memory of ‘Girls Gone Wild’ and of course the baby boom expected in result of the Hurricane Sandy blackouts. I heard a nasty rumor the other day that Seth Meyers was thinking of leaving SNL which got me thinking, who could take over the Weekend Update desk? I don’t think there’s anyone in the cast right now that could do it.

It certainly couldn’t be Bobby Moynihan because then we’d lose a good chunk of what he does so well and that is WU guests. This week he was there as North Korean leader Kim Jung Un with his new best friend Dennis Rodman.

Credit to: nbcsnl
Credit to: nbcsnl

What an odd news story that translated into a great WU bit. Of course Bobby wearing no pants and Jay Pharoah trying to carry him piggy back without accidentally grabbing something he shouldn’t was too funny.

Also funny was the “Really” segment with Kevin Hart. I know there’s been a bit of an outrage over calling all of us Southerners racists but a.) it’s a joke and b.) we don’t really have much of a leg to stand on when it comes to racism in history. I mean come on. Complaining about being the butt of that joke would be on par with complaining that having to avoid the Trail of Tears memorial trail adds ten minutes to your commute time.

Walking Dead SNL

I don’t even watch The Walking Dead  yet I can tell you that Nasim Pedrad does an awesome Carl. This sketch was funny, to an extent. It was basically the same joke repeated numerous times. Oh and I learned that if being called a racist solely on where you live got people riled up, go ahead and see what happens when you mention something spoilerish of their favorite show. Whoo boy, people are pissed. Of course I’m of the thought that if the show aired more than a couple of weeks ago, either watch it or shut up if you happen upon spoilers. It’s your own damn fault for not keeping up.

“Shark Tank” really had no hope of being funny. The only funny part was Tim Robinson and his “slest”. The sunglasses on a lamp part? Did not work.

Credit to: sucker4taeny
Credit to: sucker4taeny

If you watched television at all during the 90’s, then you saw exactly what “Z-Shirts” was about. Especially on Nickelodeon which I watched quite a bit of in the 80’s and 90’s (You Can’t Do That On Television and Double Dare mostly). These commercials were loud, obnoxious, colorful, and most often, stupid. Kevin Hart’s screaming “Ist it a F-Shirt?” was perfectly suited to his energy and delivery.

The pre-taped sketch was good on its own, my favorite of the night actually, but when it showed up two sketches later in a nice call back? Love. SNL is not known for those types of techniques so when they do use them it’s really a nice surprise. I’d love to see more of this, much like in the Justin Bieber episode where they had Ellen, a recurring character, be a part of a sketch not centered on her. It’s the little things in life.
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The Dove Chocolate recording session was funny, but it was actually the little “ehh?” Vanessa Bayer puts at the end of each section and then adds it in randomly that was the highlight. I don’t know why but seriously, that had me in stitches. She is one of those people that is really good at finding small things like that and working them in. They aren’t in your face but you can’t help but laugh.

Credit to: jonbutter
Credit to: jonbutter

The only thing funny about News 360 was the cameramen, especially Jay Pharoah in the rafters.

Oh, and I forgot about Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. I’m a fan so I enjoyed it but I wish they’d done “Same Love” instead of “Thrift Shop” (although I realize how ridiculous that is given that it’s “Thrift Shop” that got them on SNL in the first place) especially if they weren’t going to do it live.

I have a feeling the powers that be wouldn’t let them do it live for fear of them forgetting to do a radio edit version because they did come back and do “Can’t Hold Us” live. Recorded or live, there’s no one who can deny that those guys had a good time.

Overall? Wasn’t the best writing, wasn’t the best mix of sketches but it was fun despite it all. I have a feeling the writing will be taken up a notch for next week when Justin Timberlake pulls double duty. Until then SNL fans!

Justin Timberlake
News bit for all those who noticed Don Pardo’s absence, he apparently suffered a broken hip so he’s been out of commission. They did not say when (or god forbid, if) he would return but Darrell Hannah has taken over announcing duties for now.