Why We’re Hungry for ‘The Hunger Games’: New Trailer and Maps of Panem!

We’ve seen quite a few franchises rip through social media these days, and they all have the same things in common.  One, they come from popular books series. IE: Harry Potter and Twilight.  The Hunger Games is no different.  Two, they all have gigantic budgets with big studios backing them.  They can boast the latest in CGI, costume design, even scores by some of the top composers.  And three, they can take many liberties and let the foot off the gas creatively (and they often do) because they all have multitudes of preteen fans ready to spend their lunch money on a movie ticket, even before the film is released.  The result is generally poor writing and even worse acting.

Continue reading Why We’re Hungry for ‘The Hunger Games’: New Trailer and Maps of Panem!

Grizzly Review: Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie

It’s always an exciting and equally worrisome affair when your favorite TV show or internet sensation gets their own movie. On the bright side, that gem of a show that you love and cherish oh so much is finally getting the feature film treatment that they deserve. But, on the downside, if big budget investors step in and ruin what made the source material so great, well, then you as the viewer have to deal with the heartbreak. There’s also the rare occasion when the program still airs after the movie has come out and it just flat-out sucks. A victim of this horrible occurrence? The one and only Spongebob Squarepants Movie. Great movie, everything after 2005 on the show was just complete and total s***.

Adult Swim comic geniuses Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, known for their extremely odd television program, “Tim and Eric, Awesome Show! Great Job!” have finally been honored with a feature film entitled, Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie. Known for their random sketch comedy and short but hilarious ideas, many fans of the show were worried that when stretched to feature-length, the dynamic duo would lose their edge and the entire movie would just be one big, bad joke.

The plot involves Tim and Eric wasting a billion dollars on a movie funded by Schlaaang, a fictitious production company led by the diabolical Tommy Schlaaang (Robert Loggia), who, after screening the movie and complaining, “I spent a billion dollars on this piece of s***?!”, demands that Tim and Eric get him his money back or he’ll kill them both. After getting Hollywood makeovers, they realize that they can no longer manage to afford the life of glitz and glamour that they love dearly. After being forced to fire their spiritual guide Jim Joe Kelly (Zach Galifianakis), they go to their favorite night club to deal with their remorse, making a plan to drink themselves into oblivion and do countless stupid things.

While in the bathroom, Eric sees an advertisement at his urinal that claims to have the answers to all the problems. The S’Wallow Valley Mall, located in the “historic S’Wallow Valley” needs a new owner. Damien Weebs (Will Ferrell), the current operator of the S’Wallow Valley Mall promises anyone who comes to “run my mall” a billion dollar paycheck. Desperately, Tim and Eric decide to make the trip out and see if they can get their billion dollars.

Arriving at the entrance, the two men suddenly realize how decrepit and possibly diseased this place is. Hobos are scattered all over the floor, the place looks like it hasn’t been cleaned in days, but low and behold, there are still a few shops up and running. After an awkward meeting with Weebs which includes two back-to-back viewings of Top Gun, Tim and Eric decide to take over the mall under the name Dobin PR.

Tim and Eric are Gods in the world of cult classics, with Hall of Fame photos right next to Tommy Wiseau and Jared and Jerusha Hess. They had an extremely successful show on Adult Swim until 2010, when the pair decided that they had stretched themselves to their comedic limits as far as the show was concerned. They then started working on Billion Dollar Movie, abbreviated as B$M, and the final product is this masterpiece of comedic cinema that I’m reviewing right now.

The only possible comparison that I can give this movie is Napoleon Dynamite meets A Serbian Film. The humor is equal parts bizarre and disgusting, and you know that the thing that most comedy films have, it’s called a heart? Yeah, well this movie doesn’t have that. When your movie involves a small child being blown to smithereens mid-air, you know you’ve got a hit on your hands. The performances are surprisingly committed from the supporting cast, but John C. Reilly steals the show as Taquito, a sickly homeless man who was abandoned at the mall when he was a child. Literally everything that came out of that man’s mouth during this movie had me busting out in laughter, no matter how sickening it could have been.

Will Forte plays Allen Bishopman, a vengeful sword salesman who plans to rat out the whereabouts of Tim and Eric to the Schlaaang corporation. Forte plays the role extremely well, offering up quite a bit of gut busting laughter whenever he’s on screen. In fact, most of the cast members of B$M have had recurring roles on “Awesome Show, Great Job!” so they’re extremely familiar with the often irreverent material of Tim and Eric.

Many fans have complained of the film’s rather linear storytelling, but I find it to be a blessing in disguise. At the end of the day, there’s a reason why episodes of “Awesome Show, Great Job!” are only 10 minutes long. Because, unlike Jackass, 95 minutes of oddball skits can get very old, very quickly, and B$M quickly finds a wonderful balance between what worked on the TV show, and what works in a feature film. In fact, I applaud Tim and Eric’s ability to create a feature film out of a premise that seems impossibly short-winded.

Fans and newbies alike will find something to love in Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie. Produced by Funny or Die pioneers Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, the film is an inviting introduction to the most lovable idiots since Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne, but is also a faithful jump to the big screen for longtime fans. Granted, this movie isn’t for everybody, but if it is for you, you’ll be getting a nice dose of shrim in your life.

4.5/5 Grizzly’s

Call of Duty: Black Ops 2? Yes, please, I want to go to there.

You knew it was going to happen. Apparently Activision does not want you to know it is going to happen but hey, we are going to take the news and run with it. Gamespot is reporting via GameBlog, a French gaming site, that Black Ops 2 definitely does exist. Apparently they stumbled upon some screen shots from the Amazon France site that showed it was ready for preorder before the site decided to shut the page down. Obviously, those sneaky French gaming bastards screen shot the evidence to tell the rest of the world. Of course, they also ended up getting a warning from the French division of Activision demanding the news would be pulled. GameBlog refused and then Activision has decided to blackball them from media events and pull their advertising. Over a game they are probably going to announce soon. Hell, it’s Amazon France’s fault anyways. They just wanted to get their preorder money’s worth before the Euro collapses.

I will say that I mildly dislike the single player on World at War and Black Ops, but the multiplayer experience is definitely better on these games. Why? Nazi Zombies. So yeah, this will be bought for the multiplayer because it still remains the game that most of us writers play and swear at each other constantly. Anyways, this is a boring post so below is my favorite kills/kill streaks. Also, Dr. Kronner loves getting a hatchet to the face in Sticks & Stones.

Trailer Roundup: Bourne Legacy, Resident Evil: Retribution, Iron Sky & More

The Bourne Legacy

Matt Damon gives up the ghost and new blood moves in to take over. Treadstone is back and they are offering the role of Jason Bourne to Aaron Cross, another assassin with baggage. Not much is known about the plot of the film, but I would wager it doesn’t follow the book at all, much like its predecessors…

Stars: Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton, Joan Allen, Albert Finney

Release Date: August 3rd, 2012

Continue reading Trailer Roundup: Bourne Legacy, Resident Evil: Retribution, Iron Sky & More

Grizzly Review: Rampart

It’s a dangerous assumption to say that good performances make good movies. True, they do enhance the experience of watching what could have otherwise been absolute trash, but unless a story is worth telling, the performances could be as amazing as you’d like, but they still won’t be enough to turn a bad movie good.

In 2009, Woody Harrelson was nominated for an Oscar for The Messenger, a story about a Casualty Notification Officer played by Ben Foster who becomes involved with a widow after telling her that her husband has died. Written and directed by Oren Movermen, the film garnered two Oscar nods, one for Harrelson’s performance, the other for the film’s screenplay. The Messenger is a great movie that showcases the talents of both its cast and its crew, making it fully deserving of its two nominations. Director Oren Movermen’s follow up film, Rampart, which also stars Woody Harrelson and Ben Foster, is a case of pretentious film-making at its worst.

Rampart follows officer David Douglas Brown, one of the last crooked cops on the force. After a criminal crashes his car into Brown’s squad vehicle, and attempting to flee the scene after assaulting Brown, he beats the man halfway to death in an act of self-defense. A hidden camera captures the entire ordeal on tape, and within hours, it’s on the news for everybody to see. The incident becomes a national issue, forcing Brown to re-evaluate his entire life and struggle to support his family during this rough time.

Both the plot and cast of Rampart make it seems like a surefire hit, but the film is bogged down by an aimless script, and often pointless direction by Oren Movermen that aims to enhance the imagery. Instead, it ends up distracting the viewer from the thin shreds of a story being told. Woody Harrelson is fantastic as promised, as is the rest of the cast, but everything else just…isn’t. I often found myself fighting to stay awake, staring at my clock, fidgeting, and constantly checking how long the film had been going for.

I’ve seen a lot of cop dramas in my day, and at first glance this seems like it might take a different turn, maybe even striving for a Bad Lieutenant cult status,  but it’s that dire need for acceptance in a world of gritty police dramas that drives Rampart‘s plot into the ground, then back up for air, then right back into the ground. Also, the casting of talented A-listers in almost every role gives the film a really fabricated feel that could have been completely erased had the casting directors gone for the “unknown and talented” actors. Still, by the time I had made it to critiquing the casting, I was already so sick of the damn thing I didn’t even care, not a good trait to have if you’re a movie of any genre.

1/5 Bears

Community: Donald Glover, Gus Fring, and the Future of Annie’s Boobs

Last place network NBC has 3 of the 5 best comedies on Television right now with Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, and Community.  Pair those with ABC’s Modern Family and the FX masterpiece It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and you’ve got the best 5 show rotation in a long time. Community however, has been consistently scheduled opposite CBS’ The Big Crap The Big Bang Theory, and it consistently gets its brains bashed in. Why television viewers seem to favor formulaic drivel put out by CBS to the far superior cast/writing/overall product produced by the peacock is unknown to me, except to say perhaps the ‘Nielson Ratings’ are outdated and stupid. Of the approximately 115 million households in America, Neilson boxes are present in only 25,000 of them. That’s about 1 in 4600 households making viewing decisions for the rest of us. Stupid.

Anyhow, based on the poor ratings from the select few Nielson households,  NBC placed Community on hiatus, while renewing terrible shows like Whitney. So once this happened the internet went nuts wondering if we would ever get to see our favorite study group again, then Donald Glover released this.

Not the most inspiring thing I’ve seen, but more recently announcements have been made that seem to indicate there will be more episodes, just not sure when or in what time slot. We do know the following though… First Joel McHale has informed TV Guide that someone will die…

“A character from the show will die,” reveals star Joel McHale. He says the victim, although probably not one of the comedy’s main stars, is “someone you’ve seen a lot. And he dies in the mid-afternoon.”

In response to this, Warming Glow released odds on who they think it will be…

Annie’s Boobs (2-1) — It is a monkey that lives in the heating ducts, plus the death of Annie’s Boobs has the greatest comedic potential.

Leonard Briggs (4-1) — He’s the oldest character on the show, he’s had his hip replaced, and he rides around in a wheelchair. This seems logical. Maybe too logical?

Alex “Star-Burns” Osbourne (12-1) — He is a drug dealer, which can be a dangerous profession. But then again, he only deals marijuana, and his clients are Greendale students.

Fat Neil (6-1) — Fat Neil is both fat, which makes him a health risk, and he’s manic depressive, having considered suicide once before.

Magnitude (5-1) — Although not a high risk for death, his catchphrase, “Pop Pop,” would make him a likely candidate as a gunshot victim.

Professor Ian Duncan (20-1) — He does have a huge drinking problem and his with rivalry with Señor Chang could lead to violence.

Vice Dean Robert Laybourn (7-1) — In addition to being overweight, Vice Dean Laybourne is the true power of Greendale, which could develop into a “Game of Thrones” type plotline, in which he’s picked off by Dean Pelton.

Dr. Marshall Kane (12-1) — He has served prison time, and is uncomfortable with the way that the world has changed in the two decades he spent inside. This could provoke violence, or even suicide, particularly if faced with the prospect of handling those new, tiny LEGOs.

The Greendale Human Being (15-1) — Fumes from magic markers used on his mascot costume have been known to make him aggressive; they could also potentially be lethal.

 My vote is for the ‘Greendale Human Being’, guys is just asking for it…

So the fact that they’re gonna kill someone off certainly indicates to me that the show would have to first come back to do so. In addition to that, there is also news that Breaking Bad star Giancarlo Esposito (Gus Fring) will be appearing a in an upcoming episode as a business associate of Pierce’s late father, Cornelius Hawthorne.

Gus's Face, Two-Face, Breaking Bad, Animated Gif

In addition to the little bit of actual news here, and since we still don’t have a real return date, I’ve included a bunch of pictures I thought you might enjoy, most of them from Warming Glow…