Having awoken from their spring break extravaganza at Lake Victoria, the swarm heads upstream where they look to make a meal out of Big Wet, a local water park where when it comes to fun, nobody does it wetter! Thought they came to get wet, get loaded and get some, the staff and patrons get more than they bargained for when they must face the fiercest, most bloodthirsty piranhas yet.
At this point a lot of us may be feeling burned out on horror movies. They’ve either been rebooted already by example of Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th and Halloween. And a few have already been given a couple sequels to those reboots. One in particular, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre has two installments thus far since being rebooted in 2003, one of them being the terrible waste of time and material TCM: The Beginning. I would have walked out of that snoozer if I hadn’t paid $8.50 for it. Now starting in June, the cameras will start rolling on the newest TCM in 3D. Honestly, comment below on how surprised you are about this movie being 3D.
I wouldn’t mind seeing Jessica Biel in 3D like that
This movie however, seems to be a sequel to the 1973 original and picking up where it left off according to producer Carl Mazzocone at an article up at IGN:
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Said Paseornek of the project, “This is a franchise with such enduring opportunity, and Nu Image is the perfect partner with which to realize that opportunity.” Adds Constantine, “We have had much success in working with Nu Image to revitalize existing genres or characters – from The Expendables, which was our highest grossing film ever, to this Summer’s Conan The Barbarian 3D. We’re thrilled that Carl Mazzocone has chosen us to help him carry out his vision for this great property. It feels very much like home to be again collaborating with Mark Burg after all of our shared successes with the Saw films.”
“I’m excited to re-conceive this iconic horror classic in a contemporary setting for a new generation of horror fans to enjoy,” said producer Mazzocone. “Our story picks up where the original left off. Both John Luessenhop and I intend to deliver a new chapter derived from Tobe Hooper’s 1973 masterpiece with the goal of making it as horrifying as the original — in 3D!”
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Man I hope this doesn’t mean that they all ignoring everything that happened in Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, because that movie was sooooo brilliant. Check out some clips below starring an excellent Matthew McConaughey:
If you haven’t figured it out, I was kidding. That movie was a bonafide piece o’ shit. Seriously, they had Leatherface running around dressed like a woman! Epic fail! So I’m not sure what to expect from the newest bout of Chainsaw killing fun, but I hope it creeps the hell out of me like the 2003 remake did. Anyone have any thoughts or even care that another is coming our way? Comment below about it, or how much you loved those McConaughey clips!
*UPDATE!*
We now have a release date for our next 3D horror crap fest. Check it out below from IGN:
Speaking back in May when the project was originally announced, producer Carl Mazzocone said, “I’m excited to reconceive this iconic horror classic in a contemporary setting for a new generation of horror fans to enjoy.
“Both John Luessenhop and I intend to deliver a new chapter derived from Tobe Hooper’s 1973 masterpiece with the goal of making it as horrifying as the original, in 3D.”
Directed by John Lussenhop, the film will open three weeks before Halloween 3D is scheduled for release (October 26).
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By no means do I hope the movie is a crap fest, I’m all for horror movies; even the remakes. I’m just a little sick of the 3D as I’m sure many people are. It just doesn’t work for me in 3D. It didn’t work for Friday the 13th 3D way back when and it won’t now. I’m just excited for two horror icons having movies out in the same month next year! Let’s get that Elm Street sequel that same October too and we’ll see who’s the better killer! (Box office wise anyways.)
I know a lot of people are feeling burnt out on law dramas and cops shows as the networks flood the airwaves with mediocre programming, but for fans of the genre, let me recommend The Lincoln Lawyer. It felt like a throw back to the better court-room dramas of the early 90’s mixed with the solid writing of some of cable’s best current ongoing series.
I know I’m a week behind on this one, I was talked into Sucker Punch last weekend, so I just got to see this last night. The Lincoln Lawyer is based on a 2005 book of the same name. Written by Michael Connelly, this was the first of 4 books starring the character of Mickey Haller, who is played by Matthew McConaughey in the movie. Here is the trailer:
As I’m sure you just noticed in the trailer, this isn’t just about a court case, but a lot more than that. It’s an ethical dilemma that puts our protagonist in the proverbial ‘Rock and a Hard Place’. The movie’s pacing is consistent and the story progresses nicely, feeling neither rushed, nor as if it’s dragging. Much of the movie you are lead to believe one outcome will result from the events on-screen, but I was pleasantly surprised to find I was wrong about said outcome. It’s increasingly rare anymore that I can be surprised by a movie, so just when I thought I had it figured out, they threw in a well-timed twist.
The movie’s antagonist is played by Ryan Phillippe, who looks the part of the spoiled rich kid and successfully pulls off a convincing psychopath. He is a good foil to McConaughey’s lawyer, and they have an impressive on-screen chemistry.
William H. Macy plays Mickey’s friend Frank, an investigator who looks into clients stories for the defense. People who know Macy, but don’t watch Shameless may be off put by his disheveled look in here, but he is, as usual, at the top of his game in here.
We also see Marisa Tomei as Mickey’s ex-wife. A rare divorced couple that actually gets along, which is made even rarer by their professions. Mickey is defense attorney, but Tomei’s character works at the D.A.’s office. They are held close by the daughter they share.
After that the cast of the movie is full of under-rated character actors, some of which don’t even make their way into the trailer. Chief among them is one of TV’s best actors, star of AMC’s Breaking Bad, Bryan Cranston. He appears in a smaller role, but still makes an impact. In addition to Cranston, we also see someone from the other side of the Television quality spectrum with Bones star Michaela Conlin. The 2 TV stars play Police Detectives investigating a case that involves Mickey. The cast rounds out with performances from Michael Pena, John Leguizamo, and Josh Lucas.
In the midst of the trial, when Phillippe is being accused of Attempted Rape and Murder, this dude takes the stand and proceeds to tell us about what a Ladies’ Man he is…with hookers.
Everything he says is AWESOME.
This guy reminded me of “Man in Wig” from Drive Angry. He was so ridiculous we couldn’t stop laughing, but somehow it didn’t ruin the flow of the movie.
This movie pays off in almost every aspect. It’s been quite some time since I’d seen a legal thriller I liked this much. I highly recommend this movie. I give it a very strong 3.5 Bears.
Piranha 3DD
Grizzly Bomb 