Category Archives: MOVIES

Movie News & Opinions

Comic-Con: ‘Snow White and The Huntsman’ and ‘Snow White’

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It seems like there are ten Snow White flicks floating around out there, but really there’s only two. One of them stars Charlize Theron, Kristin Stewart and Chris Hemsworth. Before I show you the pictures that were featured at Comic-Con I feel it’s my duty to warn you that Kristin Stewart’s Snow White seems to look like a rip off from Alice in Wonderland armor and all. I’m not saying this to defend that Tim Burton piece of shit, but I think it’s hilarious to see Hollywood’s lack of creativity. I’m sure Sleeping Beauty will be a warrior too, toting around a’ flamethrower or double Gatling-guns. I like Hemsworth and hope the movie can’t be all that bad with him in it. I’ve already enjoyed one go at the movies watching him own people with a Norse hammer, so why not an axe too? Next up is Charlize Theron as the Queen:

The only role I’ve seen Theron in as a villain was Monster, and she was ugly as sin in that movie. But now she’s back and hot as ever (Not doing naked pushups though) along with a persona that Theron describes via Deadline as this:

Theron described her queen as a serial killer, grounded in reality, and that this movie takes the original concept, turns it upside-down, and slaps it around a little bit.

Serial killer? I can deal with that. Once again I’ve already had to see her killing people with her ugly face on, so now I want to see it when she’s an evil hot queen. Kristen Stewart plays the role of perhaps the not so cute and timid “fairest one of all” that the queen wants dead by the Huntsman’s hands. Prepare for the Alice rip-off:

Deadline:

Though the movie hasn’t started filming yet, the screaming fans’ enthusiasm was palpable. Theron got a better ovation here than at the PROMETHEUS panel. Audiences were shown a proof-of-concept short that Sanders made to get the job. A voice-over emphasizes that the theme of the movie is about being confronted with death. Slightly disturbing fantasy images include a white fairy being born out of the body of a crow, giant wooden demons emerging from trees, knights hitting each other with swords and shattering into black stone, the crowned queen bathing in milk, castles on the edges of cliffs, and Snow White petting a giant wolf. This isn’t actual movie footage, and features unknown actors, but gives a sense of the look of the film.

Wow. All of that sounds like maybe Tim Burton should have directed the movie. Hopefully it’s dark and serious instead of dark and mildly retarded like pretty much all of Tim Burton’s movies after Batman.

On that note, let’s move onto the other Snow White, titled The Brothers Grimm: Snow White, starring Lilly Collins as the leading lady.

Lilly Collins as Snow White in ‘The Brothers Grimm: Snow White’

This Snow White also features the always horrible Julia Roberts as the queen after the fairest broad of all, and Ned Stark Sean Bean, fresh off his beheading in Game of Thrones, as the King. That guy just loves snow. The awesomely named Armie Hammer portrays the Prince after Snow White’s hand in the film that releases next March, well before Snow White and the Huntsman.

Are you wondering which will fare better? Or are you like me and could give a rat’s ass because you think they’ll both be equally horrible?

Movie Trailers

The Knights of Badassdom Trailer: It’s time to Level Up!

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We’ve talked about The Knight of Badassdom before, but didn’t have much info. Now, thanks to Comic Con, we’ve got a Knights of Badassdom trailer. And we’re gonna show you the trailer, but let me first talk a little bit about what could be my favorite film cast ever. Ever.

Tyrion Lannister, Jason Stackhouse, and Steve Zahn are roommates, (Awesome already right?) and Stackhouse has just been through a rough breakup. So to cheer him up, his buddies do what all movie-land friends do – they kidnap him and take him somewhere to raise his spirits.

Knights of Badassdom trailer

Only in this case, that somewhere is a LARP game. Once there, they encounter Liam McPoyle, Abed Nadir, and Summer Glau. Sounds good to me.

Knights of Badassdom trailer

Now what that means is that in one paragraph, I’ve already tied this movie to Game of Thrones, True Blood, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and Community. And I didn’t even mention W. Earl Brown (Deadwood, Justified), Joshua Malina (Sports Night), and Larry Zerner (Friday the 13th Part III) whose character ‘Shelly’ is famous for supplying Jason Voorhees with his hockey mask. And now, his name in KoB will also be ‘Shelly’…

Knights of BadassdomAnyhow, here’s the Knights of Badassdom trailer:

BAD. ASS.

In addition, we also have some interviews from Comic Con…

Knights of Badassdom trailer

The first one with Entertainment Weekly, which feature both Margarita Levieva (The Lincoln Lawyer) and Michael Gladis (Mad Men) whom I for some reason had not already mentioned, along with may of the aforementioned actors and Director Joe Lynch.

http://youtu.be/GqvLBpDCxTE

And the 2nd, longer interview, for G4TV is just Lynch and Summer Glau…

http://www.g4tv.com/lv3/54344

There is no release date set thus far, but it’s coming out sometime this spring…

 

Movie News & Opinions

Spielberg at Comic-Con: Jurassic Park 4 Is Happening

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Jurassic Park 4 has to be one of the most talked about things that never ever seems to be happening. It’s like a missile defense shield or the war on drugs. Or kind of like that on again off again girlfriend or boyfriend that everyone out there is so fond of. And Stephen Spielberg would be that person in the relationship who always initiates it once again with promises of it’s going to work. I guess Sam Neill would be the one in the relationship not willing to give it another shot after a month of trying and tells you it would be stupid to make a sequel because the person who wrote the original books is dead. What were we talking about here?

Oh yes! JP 4. Anyways, Spielberg was making the rounds at Comic-Con this year to promote that retarded Tin-Tin garbage, but while doing so he did indeed confirm that Jurassic Park 4 is happening. Check out the excerpt from IGN below:

“We have a story,” Spielberg said. “A writer is currently working on the treatment for [that story]…and the hope is to see Jurassic Park 4 in the next 2 or 3 years.”

Spielberg did not share who the writer is or what the story is about, nor did we expect him to. What we do know is that this film will be the start of a new trilogy, one that is influenced by the history of the previous films, especially the first two.

It seems they (Hollywood) always assume something should automatically be a trilogy. I’d love to hear what the hell the story for Jurassic Park 4 is so they can justify a damned trilogy. But lord knows if there is another one Spielberg had better involve himself. And by that I mean as a director so it can at least be a decent movie. The whole thing makes you sit and wonder if they’ll have anyone from the first Jurassic Park or if they’re just going to start from scratch casting wise. If Sam Neill, Jeff Goldblum and Laura Dern don’t return then I definitely need to see Dodgson and his nice hat in there somewhere.

Movie News & Opinions

Captain Planet Movie – Taking Entertainment Down to Zero

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You heard it right, kids – your favorite tree-hugging superhero is being made into a live-action film, announces Cartoon Network.  Stuart Snyder, president and COO of Turner Broadcasting System, Inc., has agreed to create the film with the help of Angry Filmworks (best known for the Transformers franchise) and producers Don Murphy and Susan Montford.

Now, those of us who grew up in the ’90s remember a cartoon about an environmental superhero who battled the villains that threatened our planet’s health and well-being, and his troop of Planeteers.  There were five Planeteers in all, each hailing from a different part of the globe, and each able to use a powerful ring to control an element of the Earth.  Kwame, from Africa, had the power to control earth itself.  Linka, from Russia, was able to control the wind.  Wheeler, from Brooklyn, could conjure fire.  Gi, the Asian, had power over water.  And then there was Ma-Ti, a sad little monkey-owning Brazilian who was raised by a shaman.  He had the power to control hearts.  In other words, everyone had really cool powers and the South American kid got the shaft, because all he could do is make you feel all warm and fuzzy about recycling and adopting a puppy.  When the powers of the five Planeteers combined, it summoned Captain Planet, who would basically just sucker punch that week’s eco-villain.  Then he would go comb his green flat-top and adjust his diaper until he had to fight again.

So, yes.  This is trying to be made into a feature film.

Snyder, Murphy, and Montford are super excited about Captain Planet’s feature-length debut.  Snyder had this to say:

“The messages of Captain Planet are even more relevant today.  We feel this team can bring the world’s first eco-hero to life in a powerful motion picture that is not only pertinent but entertaining.”

Murphy, riding that wave of eco-friendly excitement, had this to say:

“We are extremely excited about bringing the good Captain back to life.  His adventures are known worldwide and he is recognized across generations. We expect to make a spectacular series of films with the amazing team at Cartoon Network.”

Not just one film, SERIES of films.  They love their franchises!  Not to be outdone, Montford said:

“With the earthquakes, tornadoes, melting icebergs and all the other problems threatening the world right now, Earth really needs her greatest defender.”

(Quotes taken from official press release.  Read more: ComingSoon)

Captain Planet, single-handedly saving the world from devastation, one boring movie at a time!  I like that the new Captain Planet has the power not only to destroy pollution, but natural disasters as well.  Because the humans really messed up the eco-system, we’ve made Mother Nature so angry that she punishes us with earthquakes and tornadoes in her reign of terror.  Only the Captain can save us from her bitchy ways, and villains who would spray aerosol cans into the atmosphere willy-nilly.  Al Gore, the obvious choice to play Captain Planet, would finally repair our diminishing ozone layer and put a stop to global warming for good!  That sounds like one hell of a movie!

I will admit that I found this show entertaining.  I was also eight.  Either they’re going to market this film to children, which only works if the characters are animated, or it will never get greenlighted.  There are PSA’s much shorter than two hours; and I don’t need a blue-skinned flying man to tell me what biodegradable means.  At least not in the movie theater where I throw my empty popcorn tub under the seat instead of in a designated trash receptacle.

Further proof that not everything should be made into a movie.

Movie News & Opinions

Tarantino’s ‘Django Unchained’ – DiCaprio, Foxx, & Costner

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Back in May I told you about the next Tarantino movie – Django Unchained. At that time it was believed that Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds) was already locked in, and that it was rumored that star of the original movie Django – Franco Nero, would also be asked to take part. In addition, everyone just assumed that Sam Jackson would appear in his 6th Tarantino scripted movie.

Well as the production has rounded out, we’ve gotten some more names, the biggest of which was probably Leonardo DiCaprio. For the last month or so rumors have circled around DiCaprio being pegged to play the film’s villain – Calvin Candie…

“a charming but ruthless proprietor of Candyland, a despicable club and plantation in Mississippi where female slaves are exploited as sex objects and males are pitted against each other in “mandingo” style death matches. Candie is a slave’s worst nightmare and the freed slave Django must cross him in order to reclaim his wife.”
– Deadline

And while Leo’s name is attached to this all over the place, as far as I can figure, it isn’t actually official yet. If it does happen though, I think DiCaprio would be great. I’d love to see him in a villain role, and he has a real desire to work with the best directors in the industry with all the Scorsese movies in recent years, and Christopher Nolan’s Inception last summer. This guy is, in my opinion, one of the top actors in Hollywood today. As DeNiro, Pacino, Hackman, and Hoffman all ease into ‘Grandpa Roles’, the next generation of great actors is really starting to emerge, and Leo is at the forefront. However, like I said, he’s not confirmed yet to my knowledge.

Another big name QT was trying to wrangle in for the project was Mr. Blockbuster himself – Will Smith. This was the focus of our article in May, and now we’ve got an answer from the Fresh Prince: No. 

So, once Will Smith (against the advice of everyone) turned down the lead in Quentin Tarantino’s newest movie, the search for ‘Django’ began anew. With Smith out, QT reportedly talked to Idris Elba, Terrence Howard, and Chris Tucker all before ultimately offering the role to Smith’s Ali co-star; Jamie Foxx, who has accepted.

Foxx is coming off of an extremely entertaining role in Horrible Bosses (which was awesome), where he played a character named ‘Motherf#*ker Jones’ and will now play a freed slave out for revenge. This should prove to be Foxx’s most talked about  role of since Ray.

In addition to Jamie Foxx, it’s recently been announced that Kevin Costner will also join the cast. That means that Costner should be slated for a huge year in 2012 between this and his role as Pa Kent in Man of Steel. According to Deadline, Costner will play ‘Ace Woody’, the wicked plantation underboss who trains slaves to fight to the death.

Jamie Foxx’s Ray co-star Kerry Washington has also been tapped to appear as Django’s wife, and the motivation for his entire drive in the movie.

In addition, if you can believe the “always dependable” IMDb, Treat Williams (who we mentioned back in May) and Keith Carradine are both in the running to be included as well. Carradine is of course the younger brother of David Carradine, who was best known to QT fans as ‘Bill’. Now, while I’m pretty impartial towards Williams (even though I loved ‘Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead’), I really liked Carradine in his run on Dexter and I think he’d be a really under-rated addition to what’s shaping up to be one of the best casts of 2012…

So, what do you think? Excited or what?