When I first heard about Ringer, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Sarah Michelle Gellar is, of course, TV’s Sweetheart after her epic portrayal of Buffy; but I had some reservations about her small screen comeback. First of which, the fact that this show is airing on the CW. Any network that will give Tyra Banks her own show should be burned to the ground, but I digress.
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Review: HBO’s ‘True Blood’ Season 4, Episode 12 – “And When I Die”
Well, folks, season 4 has finally drawn to a close. I say “finally” because this season was terrible. A complete and utter train wreck from start to finish. But before I get ahead of myself, let’s take a look at tonight’s episode.
This episode had some of the best one liners of the entire season. When Eric called Nan’s body guards “Gay Storm Troopers,” I peed my pants a little. Even Jesus got some laughs with his Pokemon reference. However, a few moments of funny dialogue does not a well-written episode make; and tears I shed during this episode were not born of laughter, but of misery and frustration.
Marnie’s story arc was like a diet drink, a vicious little pretender trying to hard to be good. Meanwhile, I’m left feeling unsatisfied and smacking my lips against a horrible aftertaste. Being True Blood, I was expecting there to be some sort of battle, or at least an epic finish to a story they spent so much time telling. Instead, it turns into an episode of the Real World for dead people.
SPOILERS AHEAD>>> Antonia talks Marnie down from making Bill and Eric into vampire potato chips, so Marnie has a scream cry and moves on with the other dead people? Talk about anti-climax.
Continue reading Review: HBO’s ‘True Blood’ Season 4, Episode 12 – “And When I Die”
Review: HBO’s ‘True Blood’ Season 4, Episode 11 – “Soul of Fire”
I wasn’t even sure if this review was going to happen at all this week. I spent the holiday with my parents, who still watch things on VHS, and do not subscribe to HBO. I don’t know if the rest of you had problems with HBO Go not letting you log in to the site, but after 45 minutes of trying usernames and passwords not only for myself, but a good chunk of other writers for the site, I gave up. I will have all of you know that the s’mores I made instead were delicious.
A day late, but I’m still here, providing you my sarcastic diatribe and serving up another helping of True Blood commentary.
Let the spoilers begin…..
I felt like this episode was mostly filler. At the end of last week’s episode, I was pumped! Vampires dressed all in black, carrying badass weapons, walking in slow-mo to a guitar riff – I was expecting action, explosions, and swear words. And though all of these things found their way into this week’s episode, I still felt oddly unsatisfied. More screen time was spent chanting in a wind machine and trying to fight an invisible force field – I felt like I was watching a high school media project.
The plot line was predictable. Shit’s about to go down, and there’s F–KIN’ SOOKIE, right there in the middle of everything. Again. This girl is such a glutton for thrills. She gets off on being in the wrong place at the wrong time. And still, Bill and Eric are willing to die for her, over and over again. With a damsel in this much distress, these two must start to feel less like knights in shining armor and more like fanged babysitters.
It also turns out that Marnie is the crazy one, not Antonia. After Marnie stabs a girl in the heart with a dagger, she casts a binding spell so Antonia can’t leave her, as she desperately wants to do. The spell she casts is broken by Jesus, voiced by Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget, cutting himself in the bathroom.
Then the vamps are free to break in and shoot her down; which is a real shame, because they had just gotten the hang of the Thriller dance outside.
Predictably, Lafayette’s medium abilities come full circle, and he is possessed by Marnie. Nothing like a crazy witch before bed, it really does the trick. Like warm milk. I get that this was an attempt at a twist ending, but did anyone else see this coming about ten minutes into the episode? The writers have been trying to hint to this for ages and ages, without realizing that their hints are elephant-sized.
While this whole witch business has been a giant WTF, there are a few other notables going on in Bon Temps.
The fairies are back, and apparently so desperate to reproduce that they’ll do it with a sweaty, dirty Andy having drug withdrawals and talking to himself like Gollum. I was really hoping they were gone for good, Shoot!
Alcide and Debbie are ancient history. She was pretty close to running away with Marcus, which I totally get. Why take decent, caring, muscular Alcide, when you can have gangly hate-sex with a man who apparently doesn’t own a shower? Somehow, she finds the willpower to say no to his advances, and after Alcide kills Marcus, he gives Debbie the boot. I was assuming their relationship would die of boredom sooner or later, anyway.
Also, I’m anxiously awaiting the massive breakdown that Hoyt will have when he finds out that his best friend is kanoodling his ex. It will be classic; funnier than the ‘Monster Box’.
And, as usual, I really don’t care what Sam’s doing at all.
I give this episode 2/5 Bears because nothing happened. Nothing.
[Editor’s Note – While it may not have been as appealing to the female audience, I have to say my favorite stuff this week was actually the Sam/Alcide storyline. Sam proves himself a man, Alcide proved himself deadly, and Debbie, well, she at least looked good in her underwear. But seriously, this was the first real touch of masculinity the show has exhibited in a while. Kudos.]
Review: HBO’s ‘True Blood’ Season 4, Episode 10 – “Burning Down the House”
True Blood, I have missed you! For the first time in weeks, I feel like we’re getting back to our roots. Drama, intrigue, HUMOR (where did THAT go?)…this episode had almost anything we could hope for in a decent HBO show, without feeling like a supernatural episode of Jerry Springer.
Tonight’s episode of True Blood picks up where last week’s left off – at the Festival of Tolerance. Brainwashed Eric has been commissioned to kill King Bill; and during their scuffle, something miraculous happens. Sookie is able to use her fairy light to break Antonia’s spell. This means, of course, Eric has his memories back and Pam has a normal face once again!
This whole thing feels like a cop-out to me. What is the limit to these fairy powers? She can hear your thoughts, make vampires daywalk, and she can break the spells of learned witches. If there’s a problem, yo – she’ll solve it. Like Vanilla Ice. And if the writers write themselves into a corner, it’s okay. The solution is simple: just have Sookie use her flash-hands and attribute it to another unknown fairy power. Brilliant!
Sookie also lets Eric know that she’s jonesing for both him and Bill. Shockingly, she’s not wearing lingerie and they don’t want to have an impromptu threesome with her. I was surprised, too.
The Festival of Tolerance also brings some dimension to the character of Antonia and her relationship with Marnie. Finally. She’s been a broken record in each episode, playing her vampire hatred on repeat, it’s about time she felt something else. Like remorse for harming innocent people. And we hear from Marnie for the first time in ages, and discover that she is thrilled to have the spirit of a dead necromancer living in her body. And who wouldn’t? It was always on my Christmas list, and I always got socks.
We also learn that Antonia can create force fields that can turn Jesus into a member of Insane Clown Posse. I’m no fashion expert, but I think I prefer this look to his jean jacket and overly spiked hair. I half expected him to break out in a chorus of “Hangin’ Tough.”
The rest of the witches speak Latin and a wind machine appears.
The Festival also brings out my favorite side of Nan – the bitchy side. Of course she’s going to turn a bloodbath into some political statement. Bill has other ideas, and FINALLY stands up to her! I love Nan as a character, but it’s time someone questioned her motives and practices. It’s time to take action instead of turning everything into a vampire PSA. Nan is like the angry vampire mom, who threatens true death to anyone who mouths off to her like it’s a time out, and is realizing that her kids have outgrown her guidance.
This episode also made me appreciate how funny Terry Bellefleur is, and his dysfunctional relationship with Andy was one of the most comical things that have happened this season. Andy’s V addiction has been a yawn this season, but Terry’s attempt to “scare him straight” at Fort Bellefleur made the episode SO much better. These are the kinds of side stories that I wish would be incorporated more into the episodes. We need something light and funny to take the edge off. The show is dark and heavy enough on its own without giving so much material to minor characters.
Speaking of minor characters, TOMMY IS GONE!!!!!!!!! I wanted to feel bad about it, but I just couldn’t! Talk about a waste of space. I hated this kid so much, I started calling my fast forward button the “Tommy button.” Now, his death means that Sam (and Alcide, by the look of it) will have some confrontations with the werewolves. I can’t say this story holds much investment for me, and I can’t say I have a dog in this fight, but mindless violence is always a good idea on True Blood. It’s on like Donkey Kong.
This was a much better episode than those prior. I felt like a lot of this season has been filler, and not even good filler. I’m digging the Bellefleurs. I’m digging the relationship between Jason and Jessica (and I love that Jason has a cooler of beer next to his armchair, that’s never a bad idea). I’m even digging the Eric/Sookie/Bill love triangle. Eric is so much more interesting with his memories; and it’ll be interesting to see Sookie come to terms with her feelings for both. And we’ll have to wait and see where Sookie and her Scooby Gang got transported to.
You really just have to like this episode for the Bad Boys ending. Vampires wielding weapons, walking in slow motion to music – complete with the early ’90s freeze frame before the credits.
Classic.
I give this episode 4/5 bears.
Review: HBO’s ‘True Blood’ Season 4, Episode 9 – “Run” (aka “Let’s Get Out of Here”)
I was not even looking forward to watching this week’s episode of True Blood, and not just because I was in the middle of Wedding Crashers on TBS. Am I alone in thinking this season is seriously lacking in substance? I read other reviews after the fact and they are getting good reviews for the most part. Am I crazy, or is it everyone else? However, this week proved to be a little less lousy, and I’m finally getting some of the meaty vampire content that I enjoy.
SPOILERS AHEAD!
Well, last week was quite an episode. Antonia and the vampires finally had their confrontation, of course in the cemetery. Where else would supernatural creatures meet to discuss their centuries of hatred and animosity toward one another? Sookie was shot during the scuffle and since Bill was stabbed in the face with a silver cross and Eric was being cursed again by Antonia via Marnie, Suitor #3, Alcide, comes to save the day.
This week’s episode opens right after the shooting, and as Alcide carries Sookie through the woods to her house, he is overtaken by Bill who grabs her and attempts to heal her by feeding her his blood. Sookie is almost dead and not responding. Alcide gives Bill attitude, and Bill responds with the best quote of the season:
“Werewolf, I’m going to need you to shut the f–k up!”
As Sookie recovers, she has a dream about Bill and Eric, and confesses that she loves them both. She proposes that they share her, which I’m sure would go over really well.
Antonia is going crazy, Debbie is still mad at Alcide, and Jessica is venting her problems to Nan, which is all sorts of hilarious. Bill and Nan have some choice words for each other about how things should be run, and tempers run high underground as the two of them and Jessica are covered in silver.
Lafayette, with Andy’s gun, kicks Hoyt out of his house to take care of Arlene and Terry’s baby. Andy and Jason try to break in to retrieve the baby, but Lafayette, still being possessed by the crazy Cajun lady from the past, will have none of it.
Jesus comes over to help and is able to communicate with Mavis, the woman inhabiting Lafayette’s body. She retells the scene of her baby being killed, and that she was killed shortly after, by the married man who impregnated her, and that he buried them under the tree in the yard. So they do the only logical thing to do – dig in the yard and pull out a baby’s skeleton so Mavis can hold her baby one last time. I am disgusted beyond words.
Alcide agrees to help Marcus, the pack leader, “intimidate” Sam for spending time with Luna, his estranged wife. However, the meeting turns into a scuffle and Sam gets the crap kicked out of him. Too bad it’s not really Sam, but Tommy playing dress up again.
Sookie and Debbie meanwhile have become great friends. Debbie distracts Antonia/Marnie by offering the services of her werewolf pack while Sookie breaks into the Moon Goddess to look for Eric. What Sookie finds is the coven being held hostage; and also that Eric is under Antonia’s spell and is going to be forced to turn into Uma Thurman and ‘Kill Bill’ at the Tolerance convention. Sookie goes to warn Bill, but is she too late? Tune in next week to find out!
Let me hear it for vampire politics! I have been craving it since Russell Edgerton disemboweled that TV news anchor last year. The constant struggle to be accepted in the mainstream, to go against their very natures as undead killing creatures, and to see Nan get her panties in a bunch, is really what drives my personal interest in the show. I have always been fascinated with vampires, the seductive killer, and its nice to see the show go back to focusing more on their story.
I’m so far over this witch nonsense. Antonia has one move – she holds up two fingers, speaks in a different language, and the vampire before her kneels on the ground. I hope the cast were given knee pads. I feel like Antonia is like a villain of the week on repeat, like Scooby Doo’s going to pull off her mask to reveal someone unlikely. And then she would say, “And I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for those silly vampires.”
And, as always, I am almost completely unaffected by the other storylines. They are like sprigs of parsley garnishing the True Blood plate; waiting to be thrown aside so I can enjoy the real food.
I give this episode 3/5 bears.
Oh, and this happened…
Showtime’s ‘House of Lies’ Premiere Date, and an Interview with Kristen Bell
Not too long ago, we told you all about House of Lies, a new show coming soon to Showtime. The network liked the new show enough to order 12 episodes of the show, which we now know will premiere on Sunday, January 8th, 2012 at 10 pm.
House of Lies will star Don Cheadle as Marty, who every piece of news is describing as a “cutthroat/self-loathing consultant of a top-tier firm.” And also, apparently he’s a real envelope-pusher who threw out his moral compass before he came to work. The show will also star Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars, Forgetting Sarah Marshall), Dawn Olivieri (Heroes), Ben Schwartz (Parks and Recreation) and Glynn Turman (the creepy old black guy from Super 8).
I am super excited! I think this show is going to be majorly awesome. I’ve already fan-girled about the cast; but if the writing is good, it could be a sparkly jewel in the 2012 TV programming crown.
In an interview with the website Zap2it, Kristen Bell talks about her character and about the series:
Zap2it: Are the characters political consultants?
Kristen Bell: Really anything. It’s basically a group of cutthroat management consultants that will do whatever is necessary to get the job and the after-work. It’s murky as to what they actually really do, which I think is the actual description of consultants. If someone has a problem, we come and fix it — you’re downsizing, you need to stop fighting, whatever needs to be done. And their moral compasses are a little bit wonky. … But there’s a dynamic between the four of us — Don Cheadle, me, Josh Lawson and Ben Schwartz — that’s very fun. We travel together all the time, we spend 100 hours a week together.
So it’s kind of our life as traveling salesmen.
Would you call it a comedy, a dark comedy, what?
KB: It’s a dark comedy — a dark dramedy, I’d say actually. Tonally, it’s very Showtime.
What about the role appealed to you?
KB: I’d been searching for the right TV project. I knew I didn’t want anything built around me, for the reason of it’s difficult to be No. 1 on the call sheet. It’s a very different workload than No. 2. But also I wanted to find a writer or creator who had a story to tell, who wasn’t just like, “OK, what can we do with her?” I didn’t want it to be sold on me; I wanted to be part of a good project. And I trust Matthew Carnahan [“Dirt”], our creator, implicitly. I think he’s very funny, he’s very dark, he’s very provocative. I think Showtime also has a lot more they can do with storylines — what they show, the subject matter they broach. And working with Don Cheadle is not a bad thing. He’s pretty exceptional, both as a human being and as an actor, and I just feel like I’m learning a lot from him. I’m trying to absorb how he works.
Other than not being in every scene, what’s different about being part of an ensemble vs. being the star of a series?
KB: Then you’re No. 1 on the call sheet, when you completely represent a show, there’s so much more that’s required of you. You’re in every frame of the show, but there’s also the publicity aspect that’s a reality for us. There’s just a lot more on your shoulders, a lot more pressure. There’s a lot more pressure when you’re the main component of a show, and I didn’t want that pressure. I wanted to have fun, and this has actually been really fun.
Can you talk more about your character?
KB: I don’t know if I can. A lot is revealed in the first three episodes. She’s very compartmentalized. She has a lot of issues.
I’d imagine that in a show called “House of Lies” the people probably aren’t squeaky-clean.
KB: Yeah — she’s very flawed. All the characters are kind of flawed. So the dynamics are a little bit deeper — no one is exactly what you think they are. That’s partly because their line of work bleeds over into their personal lives. They’re chameleons. They transform into whatever the client needs them to be and do whatever they need to get the job. If you need us to be firm, we’re firm. You need us to be soft, we’re soft. You need us to rub your back, we’ll rub your back. The ability to transform to get what you want is what bleeds into my character’s personal life.
It almost sounds like you’re getting to play several different characters.
KB: There are many facets to my character’s personality, and every time they come up with a new one they’re like, “Oh yeah, and she’s this, and she believes this. Which could be directly contradictory to something we’ve already established, but that’s what they’re asking me to do, and it’s really exciting as an actor.
I look forward to DVRing this in January!
Grizzly Bomb 