Yearly Archives: 2012

THE INTERWEBS

The Best of the Internet: The Funniest ‘Skyrim’ Content

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If you’re new to the internet you may not be aware of this, but there was a time when the internet was a simpler place – a place almost entirely made up of cat photos, nutshots and so, so much porn. That is until November 11th came around and Skyrim mounted a devastating invasion on the digital space, nudging the other heavyweights aside to make room for itself atop the internet content hierarchy. It’s become so commonplace for a ‘Fus Ro Dah’ or an ‘arrow to the knee’ to appear on your favorite website that it’s hard to believe both of those phrases were psychobabble as recently as two months ago. Like every other online craze, the Skyrim obsession started off funny and quickly peaked in creativity before it got stale and became the nauseating knee-jerk reaction we know today.

But that’s not to say that there aren’t some hilarious, ingenious or otherwise fantastic things that fans have created about the phenomenal Elder Scrolls title. Here is a list of my favorite Skyrim memes, mods and oddities:

The Mods

PC gamers have at least one advantage over their console peers, in that they have a huge community of people who create and share mods of their favorite games. Skyrim is no exception to this, boasting all kinds of useful tweaks to the standard content like graphical enhancements or health bars for your lockpicks, but it also gives some creative fans way too much freedom. Take for example…

The Zoidberg Mudcrab mod:

Or Macho Man Alduin Savage:

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Movie News & Opinions

New Leading Lady For Riddick

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Early last November I reported that the Riddick franchise may have been killed due to financing issues. However, after the lock out fiasco was taken care of production was scheduled to resume on December 28th.

Several sources have stated that the third film is going to explain away the ending of the previous movie and get back to the roots of the franchise. The official synopsis of the new film is as follows.

“Betrayed by his own kind and left for dead on a desolate planet, Riddick (Diesel) fights for survival against alien predators and becomes more powerful and dangerous than ever before. Soon bounty hunters from throughout the galaxy descend on Riddick only to find themselves pawns in his greater scheme for revenge. With his enemies right where he wants them, Riddick unleashes a vicious attack of vengeance before returning to his home planet of Furya to save it from destruction.”

Now you may have noticed that the synopsis above mentions bounty hunters. The latest news from the Underverse is that Katee Sackhoff of Battlestar Galactica fame (and ’24’ infamy) is going to be one of them.

According to Deadline.com Starbuck is in final negotiations to play the female lead of the film, Dahl, a Nordic mercenary who is tracking Riddick.

I can safely say that I am happy with this casting choice, but I see this ending in one of two ways. Either

A) She is the bad guy and Riddick kills her.

OR 

B) She befriends Riddick and she get’s killed by the bad guy. No matter how it plays out I’m pretty sure her character is doomed.

The currently untitled Riddick sequel will also star Vin Diesel and Karl Urban, and is scheduled to release in 2013.

THE INTERWEBS

Skyrim Shopping In Real Life

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No matter how you choose to occupy your time in Skyrim‘s massive province, at one point or another you’ll inevitably find yourself in one of its many shops. The buy/sell menu eventually becomes a familiar thing even for the most battle-hardened Tamrielites, and while stopping in at your local store is a handy way to earn some coin and free up your inventory, it’s not the game’s most memorable feature.

Nonetheless, Grosjean Brothers Productions has made a 4-minute video celebrating the highs and lows of a Nord’s everyday shopping trip. It’s full of flashy effects and packed with references to the critically acclaimed game, right down to the infuriatingly repetitive dialogue from the shopkeep. Take a look:

Ah, makes me want to dive back in to my old save file. And I was finally free of its grasp, too.

Movie News & Opinions

Release Date for Paranormal Activity 4 ANNOUNCED

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As a fan of this series of horror flicks, I am thrilled to reveal that the fourth installment to the Paranormal Activity franchise will be ready by this Halloween! The first movie was made on a $15,000 budget and grossed $194.4 million. I would suffer through that all day long!

For obvious reasons, they continued on with 2, then 3. I went to the midnight showing for Paranormal Activity 3, and I have to say that I was shocked by the amount of people at the theater. Despite the gross of the first movie, I was under the impression that this series was much more underground and unrecognized. I was corrected when I had to stand in a mile-long line for the theater. My first thought was “Oh God, no! It must be another stupid Twilight movie”. I asked the lady behind the counter what the massive crowd was for and she laughed and said “uh… Paranormal Activity.” Yes, she was a twat about it. Although the theater was full of super-douches and loud bitches, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I will be going to the midnight showing for Paranormal Activity 4 on October 19. You better believe that I will be back here to either rave about it or rant until I am blue in the face!

If you haven’t seen these, you can rent out the first 3 Paranormal Activitys at LOVEFiLM today. If you are not already a member, sign up at LOVEFiLM now to get a 2 week free trial…

Movie News & Opinions

Is Abraham Lincoln A President, Vampire Hunter, or a Zombie Killer?

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2011 marked the announcement of a film that literally sealed the deal for the death of Hollywood. Granted, it’s based off of a marginally successful, tongue-in-cheek novel of the same name, but it’s true when they say that some things are just not meant to be movies. Regardless, this Spielberg produced “historical” action flick has been garnering quite a bit of buzz over the last few months for being as outlandish as it can be.

Of course, every mindless action pic has its low-budget imitators, but there are some movies that are rehashed so poorly, they make history. The Asylum, which is the production company known for taking movies we love and turning them into remakes/sequels we detest. A couple of names that may sound familiar are: Almighty Thor (originally just Thor), I Am Omega (instead of I Am Legend), 2010: Moby Dick, Battle of Los Angeles (not be confused with Battle: Los Angeles; the colon makes all the difference in the world), 3 Musketeers, and sadly, Titanic II.

Now, The Asylum is deciding to bastardize Hollywood even further by redoing Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, as Abraham Lincoln Versus Zombies. Again, world of difference, got to give credit where credit is due. I mean, just look at the originality that is seeping from the loins of The Asylum, here! It really is quite astounding. I mean, if hearing the title Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter doesn’t already make you do a double take, then taking on zombies definitely will.

Of all the ideas that The Asylum has had, this one might be the most absurd, which in turn makes it the most watchable of the bunch. John Wilkes Booth has been turned into a member of the “New Secret Service”. I mean, who can resist historical accuracy this rich with flavor? One thing is for sure, if I had the choice between vampires and zombies, I’m almost positive I’d take the walkers.

GAMING

Mass Effect 3’s Bonus Content Announced

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Bioware recently released some info on the bonuses you’ll receive if you pre-order Mass Effect 3. It’s pretty mild in terms of content but I’m going to write this article as an opportunity to release some of the pent up anticipation I have for the game’s upcoming release in March.

So here we go. The ME3 pre-order offers several in-game items that you won’t be able to get anywhere else (At least until they’re inevitably sold as DLC later in the year). Almost anywhere you reserve your copy you’ll receive the M55 Argus Assault Rifle. You can see it in action in this clip below:

As usual however, there is additional bonus content available depending on where you put down your reservation; buying your copy from Game Stop will also net you the ‘N7 Warfare Gear’, which includes the N7 Valkyrie Rifle and Defender Armor. Here is a preview of what they can do:

Meanwhile, EA Origin users can pre-order their copy of the game and receive the AT-12 Raider Shotgun. No video of that, unfortunately. It does kind of feel like an unbalanced offer, with Game Stop customers getting an extra item for their purchase as well as not being tethered to EA’s less-than-stellar digital service, but I suppose it’s not a game-changing loss.

Continue reading Mass Effect 3’s Bonus Content Announced →