Call of Duty: Black Ops 2? Yes, please, I want to go to there.

You knew it was going to happen. Apparently Activision does not want you to know it is going to happen but hey, we are going to take the news and run with it. Gamespot is reporting via GameBlog, a French gaming site, that Black Ops 2 definitely does exist. Apparently they stumbled upon some screen shots from the Amazon France site that showed it was ready for preorder before the site decided to shut the page down. Obviously, those sneaky French gaming bastards screen shot the evidence to tell the rest of the world. Of course, they also ended up getting a warning from the French division of Activision demanding the news would be pulled. GameBlog refused and then Activision has decided to blackball them from media events and pull their advertising. Over a game they are probably going to announce soon. Hell, it’s Amazon France’s fault anyways. They just wanted to get their preorder money’s worth before the Euro collapses.

I will say that I mildly dislike the single player on World at War and Black Ops, but the multiplayer experience is definitely better on these games. Why? Nazi Zombies. So yeah, this will be bought for the multiplayer because it still remains the game that most of us writers play and swear at each other constantly. Anyways, this is a boring post so below is my favorite kills/kill streaks. Also, Dr. Kronner loves getting a hatchet to the face in Sticks & Stones.

Trailer Roundup: Bourne Legacy, Resident Evil: Retribution, Iron Sky & More

The Bourne Legacy

Matt Damon gives up the ghost and new blood moves in to take over. Treadstone is back and they are offering the role of Jason Bourne to Aaron Cross, another assassin with baggage. Not much is known about the plot of the film, but I would wager it doesn’t follow the book at all, much like its predecessors…

Stars: Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton, Joan Allen, Albert Finney

Release Date: August 3rd, 2012

Continue reading Trailer Roundup: Bourne Legacy, Resident Evil: Retribution, Iron Sky & More

Grizzly Review: Rampart

It’s a dangerous assumption to say that good performances make good movies. True, they do enhance the experience of watching what could have otherwise been absolute trash, but unless a story is worth telling, the performances could be as amazing as you’d like, but they still won’t be enough to turn a bad movie good.

In 2009, Woody Harrelson was nominated for an Oscar for The Messenger, a story about a Casualty Notification Officer played by Ben Foster who becomes involved with a widow after telling her that her husband has died. Written and directed by Oren Movermen, the film garnered two Oscar nods, one for Harrelson’s performance, the other for the film’s screenplay. The Messenger is a great movie that showcases the talents of both its cast and its crew, making it fully deserving of its two nominations. Director Oren Movermen’s follow up film, Rampart, which also stars Woody Harrelson and Ben Foster, is a case of pretentious film-making at its worst.

Rampart follows officer David Douglas Brown, one of the last crooked cops on the force. After a criminal crashes his car into Brown’s squad vehicle, and attempting to flee the scene after assaulting Brown, he beats the man halfway to death in an act of self-defense. A hidden camera captures the entire ordeal on tape, and within hours, it’s on the news for everybody to see. The incident becomes a national issue, forcing Brown to re-evaluate his entire life and struggle to support his family during this rough time.

Both the plot and cast of Rampart make it seems like a surefire hit, but the film is bogged down by an aimless script, and often pointless direction by Oren Movermen that aims to enhance the imagery. Instead, it ends up distracting the viewer from the thin shreds of a story being told. Woody Harrelson is fantastic as promised, as is the rest of the cast, but everything else just…isn’t. I often found myself fighting to stay awake, staring at my clock, fidgeting, and constantly checking how long the film had been going for.

I’ve seen a lot of cop dramas in my day, and at first glance this seems like it might take a different turn, maybe even striving for a Bad Lieutenant cult status,  but it’s that dire need for acceptance in a world of gritty police dramas that drives Rampart‘s plot into the ground, then back up for air, then right back into the ground. Also, the casting of talented A-listers in almost every role gives the film a really fabricated feel that could have been completely erased had the casting directors gone for the “unknown and talented” actors. Still, by the time I had made it to critiquing the casting, I was already so sick of the damn thing I didn’t even care, not a good trait to have if you’re a movie of any genre.

1/5 Bears

Community: Donald Glover, Gus Fring, and the Future of Annie’s Boobs

Last place network NBC has 3 of the 5 best comedies on Television right now with Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, and Community.  Pair those with ABC’s Modern Family and the FX masterpiece It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and you’ve got the best 5 show rotation in a long time. Community however, has been consistently scheduled opposite CBS’ The Big Crap The Big Bang Theory, and it consistently gets its brains bashed in. Why television viewers seem to favor formulaic drivel put out by CBS to the far superior cast/writing/overall product produced by the peacock is unknown to me, except to say perhaps the ‘Nielson Ratings’ are outdated and stupid. Of the approximately 115 million households in America, Neilson boxes are present in only 25,000 of them. That’s about 1 in 4600 households making viewing decisions for the rest of us. Stupid.

Anyhow, based on the poor ratings from the select few Nielson households,  NBC placed Community on hiatus, while renewing terrible shows like Whitney. So once this happened the internet went nuts wondering if we would ever get to see our favorite study group again, then Donald Glover released this.

Not the most inspiring thing I’ve seen, but more recently announcements have been made that seem to indicate there will be more episodes, just not sure when or in what time slot. We do know the following though… First Joel McHale has informed TV Guide that someone will die…

“A character from the show will die,” reveals star Joel McHale. He says the victim, although probably not one of the comedy’s main stars, is “someone you’ve seen a lot. And he dies in the mid-afternoon.”

In response to this, Warming Glow released odds on who they think it will be…

Annie’s Boobs (2-1) — It is a monkey that lives in the heating ducts, plus the death of Annie’s Boobs has the greatest comedic potential.

Leonard Briggs (4-1) — He’s the oldest character on the show, he’s had his hip replaced, and he rides around in a wheelchair. This seems logical. Maybe too logical?

Alex “Star-Burns” Osbourne (12-1) — He is a drug dealer, which can be a dangerous profession. But then again, he only deals marijuana, and his clients are Greendale students.

Fat Neil (6-1) — Fat Neil is both fat, which makes him a health risk, and he’s manic depressive, having considered suicide once before.

Magnitude (5-1) — Although not a high risk for death, his catchphrase, “Pop Pop,” would make him a likely candidate as a gunshot victim.

Professor Ian Duncan (20-1) — He does have a huge drinking problem and his with rivalry with Señor Chang could lead to violence.

Vice Dean Robert Laybourn (7-1) — In addition to being overweight, Vice Dean Laybourne is the true power of Greendale, which could develop into a “Game of Thrones” type plotline, in which he’s picked off by Dean Pelton.

Dr. Marshall Kane (12-1) — He has served prison time, and is uncomfortable with the way that the world has changed in the two decades he spent inside. This could provoke violence, or even suicide, particularly if faced with the prospect of handling those new, tiny LEGOs.

The Greendale Human Being (15-1) — Fumes from magic markers used on his mascot costume have been known to make him aggressive; they could also potentially be lethal.

 My vote is for the ‘Greendale Human Being’, guys is just asking for it…

So the fact that they’re gonna kill someone off certainly indicates to me that the show would have to first come back to do so. In addition to that, there is also news that Breaking Bad star Giancarlo Esposito (Gus Fring) will be appearing a in an upcoming episode as a business associate of Pierce’s late father, Cornelius Hawthorne.

Gus's Face, Two-Face, Breaking Bad, Animated Gif

In addition to the little bit of actual news here, and since we still don’t have a real return date, I’ve included a bunch of pictures I thought you might enjoy, most of them from Warming Glow…

Grizzly Review: Safe House

For years, Denzel Washington has created one of the best resumes in Hollywood by essentially just playing himself. Take a minute and think of the first five Denzel movies that come to mind. For me, it’s Training Day, John Q., Man on Fire, Glory, and American Gangster. If your list is in any way similar to mine, think about Denzel’s performances in all of those movies. Were it not for maybe the clothes he was wearing, or the setting of the scene, do you think you could even discern certain Denzel performances from others?

If you can, you must be really good at crosswords and “Where’s Waldo?” because I seriously can’t even begin to tell them apart. Still, I believe that that’s a big part of Denzel’s appeal. You know what to expect, and it works every time. If it worked the first 12 times, there’s a pretty big chance that it’s going to work a 13th time. In the newest vehicle for Denzel, Safe House, he plays Tobin Frost. In the mid 80s and up until the late 90s, Frost was one of the top CIA agents in the world. He went rouge in 2002 for unknown reasons, and has been on the run from the US government ever since.

Discovered in South Africa, Frost is placed in the care of Matt Weston, a young and optimistic CIA agent who has spent the last year working as a safe house operator, never able to see any real action. Frost is brought in by an extraction team led by Daniel Kiefer (Robert Patrick), but the location of the house is compromised, and with the extraction team dead, Weston is in charge of Frost’s whereabouts.

Back at his apartment, Weston has a beautiful French girlfriend with whom he is madly in love with, and vice versa. The obvious conflict with having a relationship in his line of work makes it extremely hard to explain to her what is going on among all of the commotion. The subplot of Weston’s lady friend makes for interesting character development later in the film when he must make the difficult choice between the safety of the woman he loves, and the strong feelings he has for her.

Stateside, orders from Catherine Linklater (Vera Farmiga), David Barlow (Brendan Gleeson), and Harlan Whitford (Sam Shepard), three of the agency’s executive officers, instruct Weston to successfully bring Frost out to a new safe house in rural South Africa. While trying to get to their location, Weston and Frost are being tracked by a group of men after a file that Frost has hidden. Inside the file is very valuable information that may just be the end of government secrecy as we know it.

Safe House is Denzel’s first film since 2010’s Unstoppable, his second train movie after The Taking of Pelham 123. Safe House is an extremely welcome return to form for Denzel, who turns in a fantastically familiar performance as Tobin Frost. Ryan Reynolds is also surprisingly effective as the up and coming CIA agent who just wants to do the right thing. Brendan Gleeson, Vera Farmiga, and Sam Shepard all do wonderfully in their supporting roles, but Gleeson really steals the show, as usual, playing yet another diverse character to add to his already eclectic resume.

The chemistry between Ryan Reynolds and Denzel Washington is dynamite. Their banter is often revealing, quick, and engrossing, serving as an equal to the heart-racing action sequences littered throughout the film. They both seem very comfortable in their characters, and even more comfortable with each other, which makes for some wonderfully tense and sometimes hilarious scenes between the two. I’d love to see them star in a comedy together with Ryan Reynolds leading the way instead of Denzel, because honestly, they make a great pair.

Directed by Daniel Espinosa, Safe House makes good use of the effective shaky cam style that has been popular for a few years now, editing together some stylish action sequences, as well as some tense dialogue that moves the film along at a very brisk pace, to say the least, because once the action starts, it doesn’t let up until the end credits roll, something that can’t be said for a lot of the other “action-packed” spy movies that have been released recently.

The fast paced but intelligent script by first time feature film screenwriter, David Guggenheim, manages to be action packed but also contains a considerable amount of character development as well as good enough dialogue that doesn’t distract from the movie’s serious tone. The biggest success in the screenplay, though, is its integration of culture to service its plot, including a breathtaking arena sequence that segways nicely into a display of South Africa’s slums, including a nice cameo performance by Ruben Blades.

All in all, Safe House is a thrilling ride that is better than it has any right to be, offering a slew of excellent performances, some great action, and a script that takes you on a wild ride through the mind of a traitor, as well as through South Africa’s best and worst. If you liked the trailer, you’ll love the movie, as the advertising doesn’t misrepresent the film like many other previews that we see on TV. Safe House, among many other things, is entirely predictable from the first scene, but that shouldn’t stop you from what is otherwise a thrilling ride at the movies.

4/5 Bears

Robert Rodriguez to Direct ‘Machete’ Sequel Entitled ‘Machete Kills’

In 2010, critics and audiences alike ooh’d and aah’d at Machete, a character Danny Trejo had been playing since 2001’s Spy Kids. Finally garnering his own movie, Machete was a definite success for writer/director Robert Rodriguez, who shot the film in the neo-grindhouse format that was made popular (again) by 2007’s Grindhouse, a collaborative double feature by Robert Rodriguez, who did the first film, Planet Terror, and Quentin Tarantino, who did the second film, Death Proof.

In between the movies were fake, or supposedly fake, previews of upcoming films, one of the films being Machete. Others included Hobo with a Shotgun, which has since been made into a film, as well as Don’t, Thanksgiving, and Werewolf Women of the SS. Reports of production for Thanksgiving, which is being directed by Hostel creator Eli Roth, were recently confirmed and is set to release sometime in either 2012 or 2013. The first spawn of the original Grindhouse, though, was Machete, and the sleeper hit of Spring 2010 is getting a sequel entitled Machete Kills.

Rodriguez is working with producer Alexander Rodnyansky from AR films, and the sequel is the first in a planned trilogy, with the hopes that Trejo will reprise his role for the upcoming two films. Rodriguez says, “The fan response to the Machete character has been fanatical since his first appearance…Machete is truly a super hero and Machete Kills will be bigger and more ambitious than the first time.” He also has hopes that the surviving characters of the first film will make the decision to return again for the next two sequels.

Kyle Ward has written the first draft of the script, which is set to be developed by Robert and Marcel Rodriguez. The film is a Quick Draw Production with production by Aaron Kaufman and Iliana Nikolic, and Sergei Bespalov and Rick Schwartz. Production is slated to begin in April of this year.

Not much is known about the plot thus far, but Deadline.com released a report stating: “The new film finds Machete recruited by the U.S. Government for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man. Machete must battle his way through Mexico to take down a madman cartel leader and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war across the planet with a weapon in space. Machete takes on an army in an effort to dismantle a plan for global anarchy.”

If Machete Kills is anything like the original, count me in.