Michael Bay’s ‘Ninja Turtles’ – 1, Nostalgic 20-Somethings – 0?

Michael Bay really does have a way to entice the masses in two separate ways. He has either pulled in several hundred millions of dollars and packed the theaters with his visual style, or he has enraged a fanboy base that asks for their childhood to not be destroyed in a sweeping camera move. As much of a giant douche bag that he is, the guy is a great visual artist and moviemaker that knows exactly how to draw people in and make them ‘Ooo’ and ‘Awe’ despite the fact he has no clue how to do a stationary camera shot. His next conquest/debate maker? The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Or actually, just Ninja Turtles. Because he’s changing the name. And the origin. And your childhood memory. Why can he do this? Because he’s the producer dammit and bathes in Victoria’s Secret model’s tears.

“He can do what now?”

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