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The Best of the Genre (By Decade): Top 25 “80s Action Flicks”

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This is the latest of a whole series here at Grizzly Bomb. For each feature we will examine an individual genre and the quality of its films produced within a specific decade. These lists will be compiled from a point system determined by votes from each member of the staff. It’s very scientific, we used Excel.

For this topic, in addition to my list, I asked 13 members of my staff to give me a list of their “Top 10 Action Movies of the 1980s”. The action movies  of the 80s, more than any other decade or genre, have an identity. Big muscles, big explosions, and witty one-liners. There are even movies that came out in other decades that you could consider 80s Action. Stuff like Point Break (1991), Cop Out (2010), and The Expendables (2010). Though we’re only counting stuff actually from the 1980s, you get the idea. Now, Schwarzenegger and Stallone of course owned the decade, but it wasn’t just them kicking ass back in the day, but several other action stars will pop up on this list as well.

Anyhow, as for the results: From the 13 people asked to make a Top Ten list, plus my own Top 10, it resulted in 43 different movies being named. I’ve tallied up the points, and I now give you the Top 25 of them…

25. Highlander (1986)
24. The Protector (1985)
23. Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade (1989)
22. Escape from New York (1981)
21. Above the Law (1988)

Action, movies

Action, movies

20. Lethal Weapon 2 (1989)
19. No Holds Barred (1989)
18. The Untouchables (1987)
17. The Running Man (1987)
16. Bloodsport (1988)
15. Rocky IV (1985)
14. Mad Max 2: Road Warrior (1981)
13. Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
12. Cobra (1986)
11. Roadhouse (1989)

Action, movies, Stallone

And the TOP 10….

*Something new this time around is the AFI Box Office, which is ‘Adjusted for Inflation’…

10. Tango and Cash

Action, movies, Stallone

Ray Tango and Gabriel Cash are narcotics detectives who, while both being extremely successful, can’t stand each other. Crime Lord Yves Perret, furious at the loss of income that Tango and Cash have caused him, frames the two for murder. Caught with the murder weapon on the scene of the crime, the two have alibi. Thrown into prison with most of the criminals they helped convict, it appears that they are going to have to trust each other if they are to clear their names and catch the evil Perret.

This movie so full of one-liners and unnecessary violence it amazing Schwarzenegger isn’t in it.

US Release: December 22, 1989
Director: Andrey Konchalovskiy/Albert Magnoli
Notable Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell, Teri Hatcher, Jack Palance, Billy Blanks, Clint Howard, Glenn Morshower, Michael J. Pollard, James Hong, and Brion James.
Oscar Wins/Nominations: 0/0
US Box Office: $63,408,614 (AFI: $127,136,667)

Best Quote: “Rambo? Rambo’s a pussy.”

Trivia: Patrick Swayze was originally cast as Cash, but he dropped out and went to star in Road House.

9. Aliens

Sigourney Weaver, Action

This one is where some debate came in, mostly from Rev Kaiser who argued this movie was more Sci-Fi than Action, but to me there are just too many great Action elements present to leave this off the list. That, combined with Kaiser’s main motivation for his argument being he wanted Roadhouse in the Top Ten, he was outvoted. Aliens is so much more than just Sci-Fi, as Alien delivered us one of the greatest horror/thrillers ever, here we were given some of the most heart-pounding action scenes ever filmed.

This is 57 years after the first movie and Ripley must once again face off against the alien menace, but this time she’s backed by an entire team of Marines.
US Release: July 18, 1986
Director: James Cameron
Notable Cast: Sigourney Weaver, Carrie Henn, Michael Biehn, Paul Reiser, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, and Jenette Goldstein.
Oscar Wins/Nominations: 2/7 (Sound Effects Editing, Visual Effects) 
US Box Office: $85,160,248 (AFI: $182,715,788)

Best Quote: “We’d better get back, ’cause it’ll be dark soon, and they mostly come at night… mostly.”

Trivia: The Alien nest set was kept intact after filming. It was later used as the Axis Chemicals set for Batman. When the crew of Batman first entered the set, they found most of the Alien nest still intact.

8. Robocop

Action, movies, Robocop‘New Detroit’, a hell hole spawned by the predicted progression seen in the 1980s real Detroit. It was only logical in the late 80s to assume Detroit would get worse, and so it made sense that one day they would look for an answer to crime though technology. Hence Robocop. The fact that Officer Murphy is killed and then resurrected in a Jesus like fashion to right the wrongs of the city, is only made sweeter by the fact that his killer was Red Foreman. This is a story about corruption at the highest levels and an underdog desire to do whats right and fix a once great city. And the fight was so bloody and violent, this marks the first time ever that a movie was rated X for violence. Oh how I miss the 80s, I‘d but that for a dollar!

US Release: July 17, 1987
Director: Paul Verhoeven
Notable Cast: Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Ronny Cox, Kurtwood Smith, Miguel Ferrer, Leeza Gibbons, and Ray Wise.
Oscar Wins/Nominations 1/3 (Sound Effects Editing)
US Box Office: $53,424,681 (AFI: $108,762,266)

Best Quote: “Bitches, leave.”

Triva: The repeated line ‘I’d buy that for a dollar!’ comes from Cyril M. Kornbluth‘s short story ‘The Marching Morons’, which presents a similarly cynical view of an over-commercialized future that’s desensitized to violence and war. A radio game show in that short story uses the line ‘I’d buy that for a quarter.’ as its signature phrase.

7. First Blood

Action, movies, Stallone

In a departure from the source material, which saw John Rambo ultimately killed in the end of the book, this ended up being the franchise that saved Stallone’s career. And the funny part is, after shooting he hated the movie so much he tried to stop its release. This movie turned into a direct message about the treatment of soldiers returning from Viet Nam and say what you want about Stallone’s acting ability, but the end scene in which we see Rambo break down and cry in front of Col. Troutman is both powerful and moving. That, combined with one man, manhandling an entire police department made for the birth of a pop-culture icon. “Rambo” is now synonymous with ‘Badass”.

US Release: October 22, 1982
Director: Ted Kotcheff
Notable Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Brian Dennehy, and David Caruso.
Oscar Wins/Nominations: 0/0
US Box Office: $47,212,904 (AFI: $127,828,135)

Best Quote: “If you want some friendly advice, get a haircut and take a bath. You wouldn’t get hassled so much.”

Triva: At one point, the studio wanted Kris Kristofferson for Rambo, Gene Hackman as Sheriff Teasle and Lee Marvin as Col. Trautman.

6. Commando

Action, movies

TONI X: “I’ll be the first to admit that Die Hard is a better movie, hell, it’s the greatest action movie of all time – But Commando is the 80’s. It has a fantastic soundtrack that is all about the decade, slick cars, slick scumbags in slick clothes, a pre – Who’s the Boss? Alyssa Milano and most importantly – It has Schwarzenegger in it. No movie can be the definitive ’80’s Action Movie’ without Schwarzenegger. Not only this, but Schwarzenegger starts this movie by carrying a tree – for reals. They had to show this dude being such a beast in his first goddamn shot just so you know he means absolute business. 

 Commando also created the Schwarzenegger archetype, granted, there were other movies where Arnie showed superhuman feats of strength, but in those flicks he was playing either a macho fantasy warrior, a killer cyborg or Hercules himself. Commando implies he was just a human being who could rip a pipe out of a wall and impale Wez with it. This is the starting point for the now classic Arnold one liners and insane logic bending shootouts. 

Not only that, but every great 80’s action movie trope is here-the pointless nudity just for the sake of it, the hardass military brass trying to recruit Arnold, the country of Val Verde, a palatial mansion where all hell breaks loose and Bill Paxton – Straight Up 80’s.

But the most significant reason that Commando trumps Die Hard as an 80’s action movie is this. Die Hard is actually an adaptation of a novel called “Nothing Lasts Forever” by Roderick Thorp, Hollywood initially adapted the novel into a screenplay as a sequel to Commando. If it wasn’t for Schwarzenegger turning down the role and retooling the script for Bruce Willis – Die Hard would have been Commando 2. Commando is not only the greatest 80’s action movie of all time, but it is responsible for the greatest Action Movie of any decade. That’s why it’s number one in my book.”

US Release: October 4, 1985
Director: Mark L. Lester
Notable Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Dan Hedaya, Vernon Wells, Bill Duke, David Patrick Kelly, Bill Paxton, and Alyssa Milano.
Oscar Wins/Nominations: 0/0
US Box Office: $35,100,000 (AFI: $78,703,098)

Best Quote: “Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last? I lied.”

Trivia: Arius (Dan Hedaya) is said to be a deposed dictator from the country of Val Verde. Val Verde was a fictionalized South/Central American country used by Hollywood from the 1980s to early 1990s to depict a Spanish-speaking country similar to Cuba or Nicaragua without encountering diplomatic problems. It is also referenced in the films Predator, Die Hard 2, and the made for TV movie Deadly Enemies (Pilot). 

5. The Terminator

Action, movies

Arnold was already known in some circles. Multiple winner of the ‘Mr. Universe‘ competition 4 times, and he had just stared twice as ‘Conan the Barbarian’, but it wasn’t until he played a near unstoppable killing machine in 1984 that he became a household name. The movie itself changed the genre forever, and kick started the career of James Cameron. The mythology sprouted from this movie led to 3 sequels, a TV show, and countless comic books and parodies. The Terminator is sent back in time to assassinate the mother of the still unborn leader of the future’s human resistance. That’s badass. This was a bad day to have middle name starting with the letter ‘A’…

US Release: October 26, 1984
Director: James Cameron
Notable Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Biehn, Linda Hamilton, Paul Winfield, Lance Henriksen, Dick Miller, Bill Paxton, and Brian Thompson.
Oscar Wins/Nominations: 0/0
US Box Office: $38,371,200 (AFI: $90,903,200)

Best Quote: “Listen, and understand. That terminator is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.”

Triva: O.J. Simpson was considered for the role of the Terminator, but the producers feared he was “too nice” to be taken seriously as a cold-blooded killer. In 1990, (years, ironically, before Simpson’s first trial) Dark Horse Comics printed issues using his likeness.

4. Raiders of the Lost Ark

Action, movies, Harrison Ford

Indiana Jones is one of the greatest action characters of all time, and Raiders of the Lost Ark was fresh and exciting, and it achieved that by looking to the past for inspiration. George Lucas wrote this movie based of the old serials he would watch as a kid. Constant action throughout, from fleeing booby traps to fighting Nazis to poisonous snakes and ancient desert prisons, Dr. Jones time and again beats the odds and achieves the impossible. And unlike most of the movies on this list, this was actually marketed to the whole family, so I think people in their late 20s and into their 30s have a special nostalgia attached to these movies having grown up on them. It’s as good as an action movie can be without gratuitous boobs and swearing.
US Release: June 12, 1981
Director: Steven Spielberg
Notable Cast: Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, John Rhys-Davies, and Alfred Molina.
Oscar Wins/Nominations: 5/9 (Art Direction, Visual Effects, Editing, Sound, Sound Editing)
US Box Office: $242,374,454 (AFI: $693,993,041)

Best Quote: “The Bible speaks of the Ark leveling mountains and laying waste in entire regions. An Army that carries the Ark before it… is invincible.”

Triva: Renowned British wrestler Pat Roach gets killed twice in this film – once as a giant Sherpa left in the burning Nepalese bar and once as the German mechanic chewed up by the plane’s propeller.

3. Lethal Weapon

Action, movies

The pinnacle of Buddy Cop movies, this is the king of mismatched partners at the start – the suicidal young hot-shot cop, paired with old crotchety about-to-retire veteran. This is the movie that created the clichés we now recognize in almost every cop movie released in the last 20 years. Riggs and Murtaugh investigate the apparent suicide of a friend’s daughter, and end up getting sucked in for more than they expected. The whole case culminates in a Christmas season street brawl between Riggs and Mr. Joshua (Busey) in a hydrant downpour out in front of Murtaugh’s house. The movie would spawn 3 more sequels and prove to make Mel Gibson one of Hollywood’s biggest stars over the next 15 or so years.
US Release: March 6, 1987
Director: Richard Donner
Notable Cast: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey, Mitch Ryan, Grand L. Bush, and Al Leong
Oscar Wins/Nominations: 0/1 (Nom. – Best Sound)
US Box Office: $65,207,127 (AFI: $132,749,036)

Best Quote: “Well, I’ll tell you what. You make it through tomorrow without killing anybody, especially me, or yourself, then I’ll start trusting you.”

Triva: Film’s soundtrack includes Elvis Presley song I’ll Be Home for Christmas. Darlene Love, who plays Murtaugh’s wife, was background dancer in Elvis’ production Elvis.

2. Predator

Action, movies

After The Terminator made him a star, and Commando  created his archetype, then it was Predator  that made him an icon. The story of an elite group of commandos that are sent into the jungle on a rescue mission, only to soon discover they were sent there under false pretenses and find themselves under attack by an unseen assailant. It is here, even more so than in Commando, that we see Arnold Schwarzenegger in the fight of his life. This movie is all about survival and it was a shocking experience in ’87 to see something hunting Arnold, and not the other way around. From the gratuitous bicep closeups to the frequent use of mini-guns, this is about as “Guy Movie” as it gets.

US Release: June 12, 1987
Directors: John McTiernan
Notable Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Bill Duke, Jesse Ventura, Sonny Landham, and Shane Black.
Oscar Wins/Nominations: 0/1 (Visual Effects)
US Box Office: $59,735,548 (AFI: $121,609,965)

Best Quote: “Get to the Chopper!”

Triva: Shane Black, who plays ‘Hawkins’, is far more famous for his screenwriting than his acting. His writing credits include stuff like The Last Boy Scout, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and our #3 on this list – Lethal Weapon.

1. Die Hard

Action, movies, Bruce Willis

This is, sure-fire, without debate, the single greatest action movie of all time. Due on to the fact that this came out in 1988 and not 1990 that Predator misses out on topping our list. The ultimate story of the wrong time – wrong place, this time it was the right guy. A seemingly average cop from New York, without the muscles and armory of Schwarzenegger and Stallone (both of whom are referenced in the movie) John McClane must save his wife and her co-workers from a group of terrorists, and he has to do it barefoot.

John McClane has become the standard for actions stars since, and this is the movie that ushered in the beginning of “90s Action”. After this, even in Stallone and Schwarzenegger movies, it was no longer about shirtless bodybuilders cutting down trees with bullets. This was a cop, with kids and marital problems and he was forced to handle a situation. He wasn’t called in because he was the best (IE: Predator, Rambo II, ect…), he just happened to be there.

Action Now with the announcement of a 5th Die Hard movie coming, the franchise is still relevant over 20 years later. This movie made Bruce Willis. But who doesn’t get enough credit is Alan Rickman. A hero is often times measured by the strength and quality of his villain, this is maybe what hurts Commando’s legacy. This was Rickman’s film debut, and he delivered one of cinema’s all time great villains. It was Hans Gruber than made John McClane great, and that is what spawned the sequels.

US Release: July 15, 1988
Director: John McTiernan
Notable Cast: Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Paul Gleason, Bonnie Bedelia, Hart Bochner, William Atherton, Reginald VelJohnson, Al Leong, Robert Davi, Grand L. Bush, Anthony Peck, and Rick Ducommun.

Oscar Wins/Nominations: 0/4 (Nom. – Film Editing, Sound Editing, Visual Effects, Sound)
US Box Office: $83,008,852 (AFI: $160,766,536)

Best Quote: “Yippee-ki-yay, motherf–ker. “

Triva: Bruce Willis was also shooting Moonlighting concurrently which accounts for why nearly all of McClane’s scenes take place at night. Willis would shoot his TV series during the day and then come to the Fox lot in the evening to work on this film.

Also check out our other 
Best of the Genre (By Decade)

GAMING

Grizzly Game Review: Dark Souls

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Japanese publisher From Software were responsible for dozens of broken controllers in 2009 with their release of Demon’s Souls, an action-adventure RPG that became notorious for its unforgiving difficulty. The game enjoyed a niche success for the few thousand sadists willing to dip into the devilish game-world, and suffer frequent trips to the Game Over screen. It became somewhat of a critical darling for its unique gameplay and the innovations it made to online play.

This year From Software released Dark Souls, an indirect sequel that promises more of the same nightmarish game design, and for some reason after playing Demon’s Souls (A game I own and have been stuck on for two years), I said “Yes, I’d love to be reduced to tears by a videogame! Direct me to your nearest store, good sir,” and bought a copy. Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results – I’ll check myself in after this review.

Dark Souls begins with an equally gorgeous and vague cinematic that forms the basis of the game’s lore and history; dragons and powerful beings at war for power, the birth of fire and the rise of humanity. It is revealed that you are one of many humans branded with the ‘darksign’, a symbol marking you as an immortal undead, damned for all eternity to rot in an asylum until ‘hollow’.

You begin the game by escaping your prison, at which point you are chosen to travel to Lordran, Land of Lords, to ring the bells of awakening and remove the darksign. There’s little in the way of exposition – in many ways the story is as indifferent to handholding as the combat, but that’s the point – Like the gameplay, Dark Souls’s story expands and unfolds through exploration and interaction, found in small tidbits such as NPC dialogue and item descriptions, so the more you see and play around with, the more there is to learn and do. This philosophy is what drives the experience of Dark Souls and while it can be immeasurably hard to penetrate and endure, the reward for succeeding is a sense of achievement that you will not find anywhere else in a video game.

The majority of Dark Souls’s design carries over from its predecessor. Like Demon’s Souls you create a character by specifying your desired class (Mage, warrior, thief, etc.), although this time there are a few more levels and specifications to apply which can affect your play, such as starting gifts which can boost certain stats or open elements of the game-world earlier on. While it’s a good idea to select a class that reflects your play-style, Dark Souls never completely punishes you for your choices; if you select a class with low magic stats for example, certain magic attacks or NPC interactions may initially be cut off, but if you’re willing to grind and build your stats you’ll eventually gain access to whatever you desire. In this way, I managed to build a melee-focused Wanderer class who was also quite adept at pyromancy.

Once you’ve given your character life (Or the game’s nearly-hollow equivalent) it’s time to go out and slay some demons. In keeping with Demon’s Souls’s established system, souls are your experience points and currency. Killing enemies rewards you with their souls and the more powerful the demon, the larger the purse. By successfully surviving for longer and longer you’re able to afford more powerful weapons, armor and spells, as well as boost your own statistics. It’s a true-RPG format that forces you to decide where those souls should be applied. A strong weapon is only useful in the hands of a strong enough wielder, so you have to think hard about when to purchase what item.

Making each soul even more precious is the fact that whenever you die, your souls are depleted, you’re returned to a spawn-point and all the enemies you’ve defeated (Bosses excluded) are brought back to life. Your ‘lost power’ is left where you died and you have one chance to reclaim it – you die before then, and it’s gone forever. This is the mechanic that can drive the player insane: Impatience, distraction or a misplaced attack can lose you hours of work. I have slain several bosses in one run only to be stabbed in the back by a generic weak enemy, losing me thousands of souls.

So sure, be careful. You’ve played a video game before, you know the deal. The risk-reward system doesn’t sound too evil until you experience Dark Souls’s difficulty. Mid-way through the tutorial level you’re faced with an enormous boss you have no business fighting that sets the tone for what you’ll have to face throughout the game. His attacks are devastating and a huge change of pace from the easily defeated undead warriors you’ve faced up to this point. It takes a bit of trial-and error to discover the proper way forward, and eventually how to exploit his weakness.

This is how every new enemy is taken care of. It’s a different pattern of blocking, dodging and attacking for each foe you encounter, and several hours in you’ve already mapped the combat tactics for dozens of enemies. The first time a new monster one-hits you it feels like a cheap and impossible attack to overcome but with patience and a level-head you learn its tells and the maneuvering necessary to take it down. The suffering you’re forced to undergo doesn’t seem worth it until you feel the elation of killing a demon three times your size. It’s a satisfaction earned entirely from your own skill and strategy, none of it simulated by gimmicks like quick-time events or restricted by contextual set-piece moments.

The last main aspect carried over from Demon’s Souls is the online system which introduced an entirely new way to interact with other players. For the most part, there’s no direct contact at all with other people playing the game, although every now and then you’ll see the ethereal silhouette of another player moving through the landscape. They can’t be interacted with, but there are several ways they can affect your experience. Most notably, there is a system in place to leave basic messages on the ground for other players to read, which can be helpful or detrimental depending how sincere the message is. Some will advise against tough enemies ahead or reveal their weaknesses, while others will encourage you to jump to your death. How much you follow the advice of other players is up to you.

Additionally you will sometimes find bloodstains of fallen players on the ground, which you can touch to replay their last moments before death. It can serve as a warning for players entering a new environment. There are also several ways to trigger ‘invasions’ where you can battle other players for their souls, as well as summon other players to help you fight for a time, but it’s possible to avoid this altogether if you prefer to play solo. In Dark Souls you’ll have a few more subtle elements that incorporate online play which deepen the sense of camaraderie, like the stony remains of a cursed player or the ringing of a bell signifying a nearby boss has been defeated by a fellow player. Small incidences like this help to richen what could otherwise feel like a lonely endeavor.

Dark Souls’s biggest departure from its precursor is its lack of a hub-world between levels. While Demon’s Souls was composed of 5 large ‘levels’ linked by a safe, nuclear base of operations, the sequel boasts an entirely open and interlinking world comprised of a myriad of different environments. While many of these are available right from the beginning and you are free to tackle each area in any order, there is a general route to follow in which the enemies will scale gradually in difficulty – Stray from this path and you’ll likely find yourself smashed to pieces by a demon far above your capabilities. Finding this route can be a painful lesson in experimentation, but coming back to cut apart an old nemesis when you’ve eventually built the strength to do so is a powerful feeling.

Safe zones are few and far between, but you will be able to rest and upgrade your character at bonfires you’ll find scattered throughout the land. By lighting them you can sit by the flame and fix up and alter your player in all sorts of ways, depending on purchases and upgrades you apply to the fires. The bonfire element is probably Dark Souls’s biggest refinement to the franchise in that it allows the player to progress more efficiently and with less travel back and forth. It also means load times are almost non-existent once you’re in.

From Software have done a fantastic job of expanding on the medieval and mythical influences they drew upon in the first game. Dark Souls oozes with atmosphere and history, not only in the beautiful landscapes which showcase everything from crumbling ancient castles to gloomy, dense forests but even in grotesque and inspired monster designs that could give Guillermo Del Toro a run for his money. There are some frame-rate issues which can almost bring the game to a stand-still, and ragdoll physics that can either be taken as hilarious or incredibly annoying, and these are issues that can really bring down the otherwise amazing presentation. Besides that, you’d be hard-pressed to find another game that can boast an equally deep, immersive world.

It’s hard to advocate Dark Souls as a must-play because it’s such a polarizing game. There is such a high learning curve, and the gameplay is so unforgiving that it’s just too hard to break into for many people. If you’re really into games and you can handle the challenge, there are very few RPGs out there that can match Dark Souls’ refined combat system and action-adventure gameplay.

Take it from me, as I stand stuck for weeks on the final boss, ready to fly to Japan and murder-punch everyone at From Software: Dark Souls may be one of the best games you’ve ever played, and I hate it.

4/5 Bears. 

Movie Trailers

Chronicle: Super Powers Done Right

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This February director Josh Trank releases his first feature film, and it looks pretty damn sweet. Chronicle tells the story of 3 friends who acquire super powers, and then follows as they learn how to use, and eventually abuse them. As you can see in the trailer, things get out of hand…

http://youtu.be/i-M5Qx57_UU

The most recognizable actor in the movie is easily Michael B. Jordan who you may recognize from Friday Night Lights or Parenthood, but the movie also features character actor Michael Kelly and up-and-comer Ashley Hinshaw. Considering how good the effects looks, that’s not bad on budget of less than 10 million dollars.

To me this looks sort of like the early episodes of Heroes, but better. The only thing that I’m unsure of is the whole ‘Blair Witch’ camera work which can get old quick when in the theater. But I guess we’ll find out February 3rd.

Movie Trailers

Trailer and Posters for “Sherlock Holmes 2: A Game of Shadows”

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On December 16 of this year, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows will release in theaters everywhere. In this, the second of the new series of Holmes movies, Sherlock Holmes (Downey) meets his match. Sherlock crosses paths with a criminal mastermind by the name of Professor Moriarty (Jared Harris). The Professor is not only smart… he is Sherlock Holmes smart! To pair with his extreme intelligence, Professor Moriarty also lacks a conscience, so he can be pure evil with a complete lack of sympathy.

In the movie, the Crown Prince of Austria is found dead. Inspector Lestrade (Eddie Marsan) deems his death a suicide. However, Holmes does not agree, and is of the opinion that the death was a murder facilitated by Professor Moriarty. During Sherlock Holmes’ investigation, he meets a gypsy at a  gentlemen’s club. She sees that he is very involved in the situation regarding the Prince’s death, and agrees to help him.

This movie looks like an action-packed good time! It seems like every post from fans in online forums is about what a great pick Jared Harris is for the evil Professor. I would absolutely agree. His popularity from Mad Men will help to promote the movie, and I loved him in Mr. Deeds. I will be seeing this movie! There are a ton of new movie posters for this one, so here are some very lovely ones and a video!

Mmmm… those eyes!

MOVIES

Grizzly Review: A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas

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Everyone loves racist jokes. Everyone loves pot jokes. Everyone loves racist pot jokes (it’s true don’t deny it). These three facts may be an explanation behind the strangely successful Harold & Kumar franchise, which is now on its third film. The other strange thing about the franchise is that it’s one of the only, if not the only successful franchise led without a Caucasian character in a lead role. I’m sure there are others that I’m forgetting, but that’s really not important.

In A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, six years have passed since the previous sequel, Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantonomo Bay. On an unrelated note, considering that both Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle and Escape From Guantanomo Bay take place during the same week, and the first Harold & Kumar came out in 2004, the whole 6 years passing thing is extremely close to being accurate as far as the time-lapse. Not very important, but I felt like sharing, now back to the review.

Harold (John Cho) has since married his dream girl Maria (Paula Garcés – Below), who now wants to have a child. Kumar (Kal Penn), who was dumped by his girlfriend Vanessa (Danneel Ackles), now lives alone spending his days getting high and talking to his annoying neighbor, Adrian (Amir Blumenfeld, in what should be his breakout role).

Christmas Eve rolls around, and this is where the fun begins. Harold’s very scary and very Mexican in-laws are in town for the weekend, led by their patriarch, Mr. Perez (Danny Trejo), bringing with him an extremely important and cherished tree that he’s been growing for eight years for this specific Christmas. Harold just wants to show to him that he’s a responsible husband and won’t ruin Christmas.

On Kumar’s side of things, with nothing to do, he decides to go out with Adrian, but hours before doing so, Vanessa drops by to give Kumar a little news; she’s pregnant. On top of all that (yes, there’s more), a package arrives for Harold who hasn’t lived in that apartment for almost five years. With all this on his mind, Kumar and Adrian head to Harold’s house to drop off the package and get out of their as soon as they can, but of course, we know the formula by know, that’s not going to happen.

Basically, to shorten the sequence, Kumar leaves the package on the front stoop and tries to get out clean, he ends up slipping on ice, Harold hears it, comes out, greets him, and invites him in for coffee. Kumar reluctantly agrees only to see that Harold’s new house is, and I quote, “not s**ty.” Harold and Kumar, after their awkward introductions, finally get around to opening the mysterious package, only to find a ridiculously large joint with the words “I killed Bob Marley” written on the side of it (I’m only kidding about that last part). Kumar immediately begins smoking the joint, and Harold forces him to throw it out. The joint, accompanied by some slick movie magic, is thrown out of the window, to only boomerang back into another open window, placing itself neatly on the cherished tree, thus lighting it on fire. Here’s where the adventure begins.

I won’t explain all the things that happen next, but I can say one thing; it’s funny as hell. The Harold & Kumar films, as mindless and raunchy as they may seem, are for the most part expertly plotted, smartly written, and extremely funny films, this being no exception.

The only thing that I thought was more or less distracting was the overall change in style. I can’t quite put my finger on everything that was different, but it’s like watching a sequel or a remake to your favorite movie. It’s probably good, but it just isn’t the same. Another distracting element was the almost constant use of slow-motion and 3D. Unfortunately, I was forced to see the film in 2D, as well as sober, so I probably only got about 1/10th of the effects that every stoner with a pair of 3D glasses did.

But for all the stylistic changes, the addition of new and hilarious characters, including Thomas Lennon as Todd, a naïve father who inadvertently involves him and his even funnier baby girl Ava in Harold and Kumar’s misadventures, as well as the return of all the old characters, notably NPH (whose cameo may be his best yet) and Rosenberg and Goldstein (whose cameo scene will have fans of the original in stitches), make this 3rd outing better than it has any right to be. Additionally, the use of meta-filmmaking makes for some even better laughs than almost any joke in the film. The real genius of this 3rd Harold & Kumar film, is that, it will most likely please fans of the original, but it also makes room for millions of new fans who have not yet been introduced to the antics of this lovable stoner duo.

4/5 Bears




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Dexter: Season 6, Episode 6 – “Just Let Go” Review

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Recap: This episode of Dexter begins with Dexter stalking Travis hoping he will lead him to Professor Gellar. Dex gets a call from Deb and she tells him that Brother Sam has been shot and is in the hospital, sending Dexter away from his personal mission. He quickly makes it to Brother Sam’s crime scene. He remembers hitting one of the thugs he came across in Sam’s shop with a baseball bat. After analyzing the blood on the bat, he finds a match. Leo Hernandez.

Dexter goes to visit Brother Sam after learning that he himself may be responsible for the shooting. He also goes to a gathering of locals praying for Brother Sam.

Notive that Geller doesn't interact with anyone but Travis...

Batista and Quinn are digging deeper into Professor Gellar’s past to try to find something useful. Deb notices in one of the old newspapers that there is a photo of a girl with a Hindu tattoo on her lower back. At that point, Quinn realizes that the girl in the photo is the same chick he porked from the bar… Carissa Porter. Quinn and Batista now have to bring her in for questioning. Awkward!

It is very endearing to see how emotionally attached Dexter is to Brother Sam. They both have a darkness inside of them. I think that at this point, Dexter looks up to Sam for being capable of putting his “dark passenger” to the side.

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