After months and months of lawsuits, broke ass studios, a Guillermo del Toro bailout, boycotts, and ulcers, the Hobbit will finally begin filming according to Yahoo! Movies!
After writing several articles about the upcoming duology on BamKapow, all talk of it seemed to cease after it was announced that Peter Jackson would be the one to direct it. Aside from the minor casting calls of people we obviously know will be starring in it there was no announcement worthy of a hobbit feet picture… until now.
Boom!
It’s about time Jackson and company got a move on because the first movie is set for a December 2012 release.
I’m a bit puzzled as to how Frodo would be in the movie since he wasn’t even born at the time The Hobbit events take place. I’m assuming it will be an introduction with Frodo looking over notes of Bilbo’s old travels.
Bilbo himself will be played by Martin Freeman who is well-known to those in the U.K., but a relatively unknown actor to us here in the States. I particularly enjoyed his small role at the beginning and end of Hot Fuzz.
Martin Freeman inherits Ian Holm’s role
Now, for those of you who do not know what The Hobbit is, the two films take place approximately 55 years before the events of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
The one ring is in the possession of Gollum in the Misty Mountains at this time, and you don’t even realize that it is indeed the ‘one ring’, it’s simply a magical ring that helps Bilbo disappear. In The Hobbit, Gandalf and Bilbo are just meeting for the first time, in which the wizard puts Bilbo in the midst of an adventure he never asked for. Throughout the story we are treated to trolls, goblins, the dragon Smaug, and much more to keep any avid watcher or reader of fantasy entertained. So mark your calendars and hope the world doesn’t end in 2012 because the Hobbit draws near!
Ian Holm driven mad from a glimpse at my Hobbit feet
Since the inception of Peter Pan, written by J.M. Berry in 1911, there have been numerous incarnations of the character in the film realm. Starting with the 1953 animated classic from Disney, and leading to the live-action sequel Hook, directed by Steven Spielberg in 1991. Peter Pan has become a household name all over the world. Hell, personally I only eat Peter Pan Peanut Butter!
After Hook there was yet another Peter Pan movie in 2003 starring Jason Isaacs, that was not a horrible watch, but didn’t manage to bring in the big box office bucks.
Now we have a whole bunch of new Peter Pan stuff flying our way (pun intended), some of it is promising, and some if not so promising. Seeing as I’m the type who likes my bad news first, so here it is: Channing Tatum is said to star in a project purchased by Sony, and titled thus far as Pan. The movie would go forth based on the idea that Captain Hook and Peter Pan are brothers, and is said to be an origin story.
The idea of the two foes being brothers is a decent one, but casting Channing Tatum as Peter Pan? Do the letters W, T, and F mean anything to you?
I would hope that this is a complete re-imagining of the story; where Pan left Neverland and aged quite a bit, much like what happened in Hook. But so help me, if I have to sit and watch Channing Tatum fly around in green tights, acting like a happy little child, then I will be thoroughly disgusted and I might stab someone. Now, I am aware that Robin Williams did this in Hook, a movie I enjoyed as a child, but now I can’t stand seeing Robin Williams in the green tights.
Pan is a project that I have little faith but will keep an eye on to see how it progresses. You know, at least until Justin Bieber is cast as Captain Hook. Despite hating Channing Tatum, I’m trying to be open-minded about Sony’s Pan movie, because I do enjoy the story. The thing I want to see most is the crocodile that bites off Captain Hook’s hand, but who knows if they’ll even tell that part of the story.
Now for the promising news: SyFy is also currently developing a prequel to Peter Pan in the form of a four-hour, four-episode mini series event that is set to debut in December of this year.
The project is titled Neverland, and has what so far seems like a very solid cast of actors. The most notable of them being Keira Knightley to voice the magical tree spirit – Tinkerbell. Bob Hoskins is reprising his role as Smee from Hook, and The Amazing Spiderman‘s recently announced ‘Lizard’ Rhys Ifans as James Hook.
Rhys Ifans and Captain James Hook: Mr. Ifans needs to grow out that mustachio
Below is a description of the series courtesy of Slice of SciFi:
Peter, along with his pals of young pickpockets, have been rounded up by their mentor Jimmy Hook to snatch a magical orb which transports them to another world—Neverland. Filled with white jungles and imposing cities formed out of trees, created by Dr. Fludd and inhabited by a colony of tree spirits led by Tinker Bell, this mysterious realm welcomes unknown friends and enemies snatched from time. These include power-mad Elizabeth Bonny and her band of 18th century pirates who search for the answer to eternal youth, a secret guarded by a Holy Man. As the fight to save this strange and beautiful world escalates, Peter and his crew consider that growing old somewhere in time could be less important than growing up—right here in their new home called Neverland.
Keira Knightley and the ever popular Tinkerbell.
Out of the two projects I am more enthusiastic about SyFy’s Neverland mini-series, because four hours gives them plenty of time to explore Neverland, and develop the characters to the maximum. Plus Bob Hoskins portrayal of Smee in Hook was so brilliant he could perform the role exactly the same this time and I would love it.
I’ll keep everyone posted on the status of both projects, the Channing Tatum one will be under the most scrutiny due to its high probability of fail.
Comment below about both, or even if you just hate Peter Pan.
When I sit down to watch a kung fu flick, I expect ridiculous action, a killer soundtrack, and a main character that has the ability to kick everyone’s asses, but won’t because of a higher sense of morality, spirituality, or justice. Now you might be thinking, “Wow, that sounds like a description of Batman Forever!” Shut up your face.
Ip Man was really more than simply a Kung Fu flick; it was a quasi-biopic concerned with the life of Yip Man, a grandmaster of the martial art of Wing Chun (No, not Wang Chung, but like you, I also love that band). While this film, upon cursory research, has severe historical and biographical inaccuracies, the basic premise behind it stands tall:
I doubt many of the readers of this site have played the PC Game Sins of a Solar Empire or either of its Micro-Expansions, despite it being 2008’s ‘Strategy Game of the Year’ for most reputable game reviewers. In a world where fast paced Action games take up much of the mainstream spotlight, its easy to pass by some of the other quiet behemoths of excellence within other genres. My purpose therefore, is to shed some light on an exciting upcoming addition to the Sins universe in the form of the first stand-alone expansion: Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion.
Our favorite Amazonian is coming back to TV in the form of the Friday Night Lights star Adrianne Palicki. Ms. Palicki is no stranger to DC’s television universe as she appeared in both an episode of Smalleville, as well as the TV movie Aquaman.
Are you excited? Because Lynda Carter is! The original TV Wonder Woman has given her public blessing to Palicki via Twitter, and an interview where she said that she wants her to “kick butt”.
I smell a cameo…
Bringing Wonder Woman back to TV seems like a fantastic idea at first – however, there are skeptics out there, and I cannot blame them. There are certain things to consider when casting a lady superhero who is SUPPOSED to be an Amazon woman, and who ACTUALLY is a pretty skinny babe. Don’t get me wrong, from what I have seen of her, she’ll do a fine job playing the super heroine. I am fairly certain however, that she would need a gun to win any type of fight. I do not, for one second think that she could actually do many of the things that I’m sure we’ll see her do in the NBC show. She could only be taken seriously as a rival if the vileness was played by… oh, I don’t know… Elizabeth Hurley. Oh wait…
Who wouldn’t want to see those two brawl?
That being said…
The cast has not been completely decided 100%, but the actors who are set in stone are winners (not Charlie Sheen’s definition of winners… REAL winners). Cary Elwes is playing Henry Demeter, the CEO of Themyscira Industries. Any show co-starring Robin Hood is automatically going to get a big thumbs up from me.
As I have already mentioned, Adrianne Palicki will be the star. I have to admit, when I found out that Wonder Woman was coming back, and she WASN’T being played by Kate Beckinsale, I was slightly disappointed. Nevertheless, I believe the curvy, gorgeous, talented Palicki will, I’m sure, do justice to the DC character.
Casted alongside these characters is Elizabeth Hurley as Veronica Cale, our villain. Also, and I give kudos to David Rapaport for casting such promising actors, Tracie Thoms as Etta Candy, and Pedro Pascal as Ed Indelicato.
Here is Thoms in Quentin Tarantino’s DEATH PROOF along with 3 of my (Dr. Kronner) favorite actresses: L to R – Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rosario Dawson, Zoe Bell, Tracie Thoms
Another important element of the new NBC show is that Wonder Woman’s famous costume has been altered!
Of course Wonder Woman must come prepared with her lasso of truth at all times, so that has not changed. But she is now sporting long spandex-tight leather/plastic pants as opposed to the old-fashioned underoos. She has also switched from red boots to blue. There is no real way to gauge the potential success of the new Wonder Woman series. Superhero shows as of late have not fared well, most recently NBC’s The Cape lasted only 9 episodes. So all we can do now it is wait and see.
If there is anything I like more than a crappy horror movie, it’s a crappy horror movie title that plays on words. For example, Santa’s Slay portrays a man dressed as Santa, slaying people. Or The Gingerdead Man who is a dead killer resurrected as a gingerbread man who continues to make people dead.
With the movie I am reviewing aptly named DIEner, I expected no less than a diner where people die. Little did I know I was about to be served with zombies as well. Synopsis follows below:
Ken (Josh Grote) is a wandering and unassuming serial killer who enters a forsaken and empty diner during the graveyard shift. After a long conversation with the diner’s lone waitress Rose, (Maria Olsen) Ken kills her and promptly delivers the same fate to the diner’s cook Fred (Jorge Montalvo). As Ken cleans up the bloody mess and deposits Rose and Fred in the walk-in freezer, company arrives. A young, unhappy married couple Rob (Parker Quinn) and Kathy (Liesel Kopp) stop by the diner, only to be followed by the arrival of Sheriff Duke Purdett (Larry Purtell). Ken now finds himself in the middle of a rousing game of cat and mouse which he manages well until the unthinkable happens. Back from the dead, Rose and Fred emerge from the freezer and start walking around! Once an unflappable serial killer, Ken now holds the young couple and wounded sheriff captive, trying frantically to escape the zombie predators!
I was expecting a very low-budget zombie horror film that tried to be a horror movie but failed. It was instead a terrible horror/comedy(?) with no zombies showing up until about 20 minutes in. I suppose I should have watched the trailer first.
Much of the 75-minute piece of refuse was taken up by the first 23 minutes introducing us to characters we couldn’t give a dead moose’s last shit about. I loved how the first five minutes we had to hear the horse-gummed waitress tell the killer her life story before he slow-mo kills her, and owns the cowardly cook with a knife throw to the back. We are also served a couple of nearly five-minute long flashback scenes trying to make us somehow sympathetic to the comic serial killer. I might add, the little serial killer in the flashback is approximately 10 years old and wearing the exact same shirt as the 30 something, grown up a serial killer. Great wardrobe department.
Ken – Our Killer. “No, I’m serious. I think we should duct tape this Zombie to the kitchen floor.”
When the zombies do show up, they are a complete joke. The three principle characters were able to dodge around them like kids playing freeze tag in elementary school. The young couple, Rob, and Kathy, decide to just go right along with the serial killer’s brilliant plan of detaining the zombies. Tying one to a flimsy coat rack, and duct taping the other one to the floor the greasy kitchen floor. You know, as opposed to trying to kill said zombies, or even just simply leaving.
The actors had about as much life in them as the dead mouse that my cat dropped off at the doorstep this morning. And the soundtrack- oh the glorious soundtrack! – organ music. We were also treated to some tunes during the flashbacks; they sounded like a monkey on LSD trying to play a guitar while kicking bells across the ground and wind chimes flailing about. At this point, Grizzly Park was Academy material compared to this scum sucking piece of garbage paste.
The being said, I highly recommend it to anyone looking to ruin their life for 75 minutes.
Bad acting (a given)
Bad Music
Not many zombies until the end
Nothing funny
Nothing remotely entertaining
For those reasons I award DIEner with a score of Zero Grizzlies, and may God have mercy on the souls of those who created it.
– Craptastic Bonus Fun Fact: the word diener is derived from the German leichendiener, which literally means corpse servant. Coincidence or DIEner writer genius? I’d put money on coincidence.
December 2012 release.
Grizzly Bomb 