In 1932, writer Robert E. Howard created one of the greatest characters in the history American literature – Conan the Barbarian. Most people don’t realize he’s been around that long, commonly associating the character solely with the Schwarzenegger vehicles of the early 1980s. The uneducated masses, which until recently included myself in their ranks, are largely unaware of how in-depth the character’s history is. And now, 27 years after the last Conan movie, the Cimmerian is back on the big screen. And while I was initially underwhelmed by the casting of Jason Momoa, my mood changed after seeing him this season in Game of Thrones.
Daily Archives: August 22, 2011
WWE Monday Night Raw Recap & Review: August 22, 2011
Raw begins with Alberto Del Rio, getting ready to bore us to death at the start of the show. He of course comes out in one of those borrowed cars, what a piece of trash. After his dragged out entrance he finally grabs a mic and before he even does his lame introduction he is quickly interrupted by John Cena, who gets a standing ovation. Cena grabs a mic and introduces himself as the man who is going to take that belt from him. He goes on to say that CM Punk is the only person who can go toe to toe with him, so whipping Del Rio’s ass won’t be a problem. And just as this leaves his mouth CM Punk’s music hits, and he gets an equally loud ovation. CM Punk says that if anybody is going to get a title shot it’s going to be him. Both Cena and Punk say that they are going to cash in their rematch clause to face Del Rio. Triple H then comes out, I like the suit tonight though. Triple H says that tonight there will be a number one contendership match between CM Punk and Cena in the main event of the show.
Commercial Break…
Alberto Del Rio vs. John Morrison
Morrison begins by throwing a few punches and knocking Del Rio to the outside of the ring. Once back in, Del Rio begins gaining some offense. I can’t be the only one who thinks that Del Rio is an absolute joke of a champion. Heres my thing, when the WWE champion is only entertaining enough to be the first match on Raw, there’s a problem. He has a boring personality and it would be awful for ratings to keep Del Rio as champion after “Night of Champions.”Back to the match, Morrison and Del Rio are on the outside of the ring, and Del Rio shoves Morrison into the barricade before Raw cuts to a commercial break.
After the break, Morrison is getting destroyed. However, as wrestling goes, John Morrison begins to retaliate and begins fighting back into this. Actually, hats off to both these wrestlers, this is turning into a pretty good match. Morrison is still in control, and going for “star ship pain” but misses it and soon finds himself in an arm bar which he taps out to. Actually a great match, and after the match Del Rio begins attacking Morrison just for good measure.
Commercial Break…
Nicki Bella vs. Eve Torres
This cat fight begins with Nicki throwing some punches and pulling some hair. Eve begins fighting back and I believe we have broken 2 minutes, which is the longest Divas match I’ve seen on Raw in the last couple months. Nicki and Eve go at it for a couple more minutes before Eve Torres wins the match.
After the match Kelly Kelly, who was in the corner of Eve, comes in the face plants the other Bella for no apparent reason.
Commercial Break…
Jack Swagger vs. Alex Riley
Vicki Guerrero comes out and introduces Jack Swagger, who we saw last week approach Vicki about managing him. As the match begins, Dolph Ziggler comes out and begins arguing with Vicki and in the process distracts Jack Swagger. After the distraction Alex Riley rolls up Swagger into the three count.
Boring match, and once again the WWE refuses to use Alex Riley to the extent that they probably could.
Commercial Break…
After the break, Triple H comes out to supposedly clear up what happened at SummerSlam. Triple H calls out Kevin Nash so they can explain everything to the crowd. Kevin Nash walks out to no music.
Triple H then goes on to say that it wasn’t him that sent that text, and Nash says that he will not apologize to CM Punk. Punk then comes out and says that his bet is that Stephanie McMahon sent the text message. Just when CM Punk is about to Go after Nash, Triple H holds him back. CM Punk goes on to tell Triple H that he’s got his balls stuck in his wifes purse. Just as this happens, Nash attacks Punk from the side, and Triple H and Nash hurry out of the ring together.
Commercial Break
Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne vs. David Otunga and Michael Mcgillicutty
McGillicutty and Bourne start the match and Evan Bourne is beating up McGillicuty. I really think that Bourne and Kingston would be an awesome tag team championship team. Both have an extremely unique wrestling style, and I’m agreeing with everything that Jerry Lawler is saying right now. Otunga and McGillicutty are not entertaining wrestlers, they make piss poor champions and they show nothing unique about their personalities and wrestling styles. Back to the match, after an incredible performance by both Kingston and Bourne, Bourne hits his back flip off of the top rope to get the pinfall win for the tag team titles. I’m absolutely thrilled, and can’t wait to see these two wrestle as a tag team more often!
Backstage, John Laurinaitis runs up to HHH and tells him that Kevin Nash has been in a car accident. His poor acting is almost uncomfortable to watch. He then gives Hunter the name of the hospital and HHH takes off to see if he is ok. Laurinaitis says that he’ll take care of the rest of the night.
My guess is that Kevin Nash had triple H notified of a car accident just to get him out of the arena so he can get involved in the main event and not have Triple H stop him. We shall see what goes down in about 30 minutes.
Commercial Break…
And here comes grizzly bomb writer Darthsaeris’s favorite wrestler in the world, Santino Marella! As he is coming out to the ring, R-Truth and the Miz attack Santino from behind, thank God we don’t have to see him actually compete in a match. R-Truth grabs a mic and begins talking about how Cena, Punk, Stephanie McMahon, Triple H, are all conspiring against him and Miz. The Miz and his stupid hair cut begin talking about how he agrees with R-Truth. Miz begins rambling and his words really aren’t worth typing, so I’ll just have you all know he is wasting everyone’s time.
Commercial Break
CM Punk vs. John Cena (#1 Contender-ship match)
Alberto Del Rio and John Laurinaitis are both at ring side, LAME! Side note: I happen to love that CM Punk yells out, “It’s clobbering Time,” before he runs down to the ring. The fact that there is still 20 minutes left in the night, is a definite indicator that were going have a full match! The match starts with a lock up, and John Cena is the first to gain momentum. Lawler begins saying how he doesn’t believe CM Punk is that good, and the “idiotic statement of the night award” goes to the guy with the plastic crown. Punk begins fighting back, but not long before Cena knocks Punk off the top turnbuckle and to the outside of the ring. And we have a commercial break. When Raw returns, we see a back and forth battle and Cena gets Punk in the STFU, Punk doesn’t tap. Immediately after we see CM Punk hit Cena with a “Go to Sleep,” and Cena kicks out. Punk then goes to the top rope and misses an elbow drop, which Cena rolls out of the way from. Both men are laying face first in the middle of the ring. As both men get to their feet, Punk hits Cena with a knee to the face, and Cena hits Punk with an attitude adjustment, but neither move ends the match. Oh and I’m right on the money with my prediction, Nash is back and CM punk is distracted by this. When he turns back around Cena hits him with the “attitude adjustment” again and pins Punk for the win.
After the match Alberto runs in the ring and attacks John Cena. The show ends with this, and yet again we have many unanswered questions.
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Breaking Bad: Season 4, Epidsode 6 – “Cornered” Review
This week we start off in the Los Pollos truck again. It didn’t work out as well this time. It seems like No Mike means a loss for Gus, which is exactly what happened. Not only did Gus’ chicken truck get hit again, and 3 of his men murdered, and product stolen – but most importantly – the spectacle of it all. The truck, covered in blood and dead people, left on the side of the road for the cops to find, and everything pointing at ol’ Gus.
This is bad news bears.
Speaking of Mike, he’s still touring with Pinkman, and this week, it’s up to them to clean up the mess left by the aforementioned events. Word is, 2 meth heads have the stolen BLUE and are pimping it out of there shithole house. While Mike is content to simply wait for the tweekers to pop their heads out, patience has never been a virtue held by Jessie Pinkman. Playing the part of a meth addict looking to score, Jessie tricks one of the dealers out of the house only to encounter Damon Herriman (Justified’s ‘Dewey Crowe’) playing a junkie with a shotgun. But ‘Shotgun’ was the title of last week’s episode, and we’ve moved past that already, and so does Jessie.
Walt’s biggest story is – no surprise – his difficulties dealing with Skyler. He was feeling a bit proud and let slip something he shouldn’t have, so she took off. After that he took out his frustrations on Captain Eyebrows while he was collecting the car wash keys, and then he didn’t do himself any favors with wifey when he decided to buy Junior a new Dodge Challenger. But hey, he was feeling rebellious. And sticking with that same ‘Devil May Care’ swagger, he tilts a defiant coffee mug to the lab’s ‘eye in the sky’ which results in 3 women being deported. Yet another example of how cautious Gustavo is.
So while Jessie further endears himself to powers that be, Walt only make peace that much harder. Fight the power Walt, damn the man.
Speaking of the man, Hank didn’t make an appearance at all in this episode (neither did our boy Saul) which means next week should Hank heavy, which can’t be good for Gus.
Hank has to figure out, with the napkin, the truck, and Gale’s notes – he’s gonna start connecting dots…
Overall, good episode but nothing mind blowing. 3.5/5 Bears.
Review: HBO’s ‘True Blood’ Season 4, Episode 9 – “Run” (aka “Let’s Get Out of Here”)
I was not even looking forward to watching this week’s episode of True Blood, and not just because I was in the middle of Wedding Crashers on TBS. Am I alone in thinking this season is seriously lacking in substance? I read other reviews after the fact and they are getting good reviews for the most part. Am I crazy, or is it everyone else? However, this week proved to be a little less lousy, and I’m finally getting some of the meaty vampire content that I enjoy.
SPOILERS AHEAD!
Well, last week was quite an episode. Antonia and the vampires finally had their confrontation, of course in the cemetery. Where else would supernatural creatures meet to discuss their centuries of hatred and animosity toward one another? Sookie was shot during the scuffle and since Bill was stabbed in the face with a silver cross and Eric was being cursed again by Antonia via Marnie, Suitor #3, Alcide, comes to save the day.
This week’s episode opens right after the shooting, and as Alcide carries Sookie through the woods to her house, he is overtaken by Bill who grabs her and attempts to heal her by feeding her his blood. Sookie is almost dead and not responding. Alcide gives Bill attitude, and Bill responds with the best quote of the season:
“Werewolf, I’m going to need you to shut the f–k up!”
As Sookie recovers, she has a dream about Bill and Eric, and confesses that she loves them both. She proposes that they share her, which I’m sure would go over really well.
Antonia is going crazy, Debbie is still mad at Alcide, and Jessica is venting her problems to Nan, which is all sorts of hilarious. Bill and Nan have some choice words for each other about how things should be run, and tempers run high underground as the two of them and Jessica are covered in silver.
Lafayette, with Andy’s gun, kicks Hoyt out of his house to take care of Arlene and Terry’s baby. Andy and Jason try to break in to retrieve the baby, but Lafayette, still being possessed by the crazy Cajun lady from the past, will have none of it.
Jesus comes over to help and is able to communicate with Mavis, the woman inhabiting Lafayette’s body. She retells the scene of her baby being killed, and that she was killed shortly after, by the married man who impregnated her, and that he buried them under the tree in the yard. So they do the only logical thing to do – dig in the yard and pull out a baby’s skeleton so Mavis can hold her baby one last time. I am disgusted beyond words.
Alcide agrees to help Marcus, the pack leader, “intimidate” Sam for spending time with Luna, his estranged wife. However, the meeting turns into a scuffle and Sam gets the crap kicked out of him. Too bad it’s not really Sam, but Tommy playing dress up again.
Sookie and Debbie meanwhile have become great friends. Debbie distracts Antonia/Marnie by offering the services of her werewolf pack while Sookie breaks into the Moon Goddess to look for Eric. What Sookie finds is the coven being held hostage; and also that Eric is under Antonia’s spell and is going to be forced to turn into Uma Thurman and ‘Kill Bill’ at the Tolerance convention. Sookie goes to warn Bill, but is she too late? Tune in next week to find out!
Let me hear it for vampire politics! I have been craving it since Russell Edgerton disemboweled that TV news anchor last year. The constant struggle to be accepted in the mainstream, to go against their very natures as undead killing creatures, and to see Nan get her panties in a bunch, is really what drives my personal interest in the show. I have always been fascinated with vampires, the seductive killer, and its nice to see the show go back to focusing more on their story.
I’m so far over this witch nonsense. Antonia has one move – she holds up two fingers, speaks in a different language, and the vampire before her kneels on the ground. I hope the cast were given knee pads. I feel like Antonia is like a villain of the week on repeat, like Scooby Doo’s going to pull off her mask to reveal someone unlikely. And then she would say, “And I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for those silly vampires.”
And, as always, I am almost completely unaffected by the other storylines. They are like sprigs of parsley garnishing the True Blood plate; waiting to be thrown aside so I can enjoy the real food.
I give this episode 3/5 bears.
Oh, and this happened…
Grizzly Bomb 