Category Archives: POP CULTURE
THIS IS NOT an iPhone 5 Review
Hike up your glasses and pick your favorite case everybody! The iPhone 5 is almost here – Apple fans have already been rejoicing for months now and I definitely wanted to be in on this new product because it seems that news about the iPhone 5 is everywhere. So now it’s time for me to review this news-maker. Will it meet the hype that dedicated Apple fans have created over it, or will it fail to deliver?
First of all, the bigger screen is pretty impressive. The first time I held the phone and looked at the screen I could have sworn I was looking at a netbook instead of a phone. Apparently, people want our phone screens to keep getting bigger like our TV screens have and Apple definitely delivered on this aspect. I tested out the screen’s size by pulling up a picture of a pizza (because I was really hungry at the time) and I could have picked the entire thing right off the screen, it was so real and life-sized. I was shocked. How awesome would it be if the next iPhone could be even bigger and I could look up even bigger food items, like a foot-long Subway sandwich?
I’m also pretty stoked about the new charger for the iPhone 5, a cable called the Lightning. The connector is really small and fits perfectly into the small spot allotted for it on the new, slimmer iPhone 5. I think Apple was trying to go along with the whole diet mentality because everything about the Lightning seemed based on smaller proportions to produce greater effects in the end, except for the screen of course. Not a bad strategy if you ask me. I read that apparently a lot of Apple products are going to start using this charging cable, which is pretty awesome that I’ll get to throw away my perfectly good iPod to buy a whole new one just so it will be compatible with the new charger.
A few final notes about the iPhone should be covered before I wrap this up. I simply adore the fact that the iPhone 5 has faster memory and therefore functions a lot faster. Now I don’t have to wait the excruciating 1 second for a website or app to load anymore – it only takes half of a second now! Holy crap, how did I ever deal with dial-up? Also, the lighter weight means that I don’t have to lug around the stupidly heavy iPhone 4S in my purse anymore. The difference in weight between the previous iPhone and the new one is like an elephant to a mouse, which is WONDERFUL for my shoulders to deal with now. Sure, I guess nothing else much has changed besides what I already mentioned, in addition to the new operating system, the iOS6, and an improved camera. But really, it’s the newest and greatest from Apple, and that is good enough reason for me to own it.
But I guess now would be a good time to let you know that I’m not one of those “lucky” writers in the tech industry who was able to get their hands on an iPhone 5 for review. In fact, I’ve never owned any iPhone, or any other smartphone, for that matter. My review was based on me imagining that I was an Apple addict who shells out money for everything my beloved company produces because I must remain a part of their cult. So I hope this article at least entertained you, because there’s no way I’d ever actually want to review an iPhone 5 for real. For as long as I can, I’d like to avoid people telling me that I’m becoming a follower of Apple-ology, Apple-anity, or any other way you want to describe the worship of all things Apple.
iPhone 5: Luxury or Necessity?
On September 12, 2012, the worst secret in the field of technology was released into the wild. Yes, the iPhone 5 was coming out and yes, millions of people want to love it and have millions of its babies. It also exposed an interesting fact about our society. With estimates of up to 10 million iPhone 5s sold by the end of September – NINE DAYS mind you – this is obviously going to be one of the most anticipated products launches in recent memory. But the question is this: do we actually need an iPhone 5?
Let’s start off with the facts. The iPhone 5 is going to carry a larger screen, have access to the LTE network, and be more powerful than previous iterations of the phone that revolutionized the industry. It will still have a retina display and with the new A6 chipset, the phone will run faster, smoother, and more efficient so that your battery life will be extended (or so we’re promised). The price points are the same as the previous versions with the 16gig going for $199, the 32gig going for $299, and the 64gig running for $399. The preorders began on September 14th with phones being available in retail stores and shipping on September 21st.
Admittedly, the reaction has ranged from excited to apathetic. The excited usually revolves around the bigger screen and the added functionality of LTE. The unimpressed concentrate on it being just another smart phone with a longer screen and the fact that it doesn’t make breakfast for you. “Yay, we have an extra row for apps! *fart sound*” Legitimate and sarcastic concerns indeed, but the more glaring concern I get from this is our expectations of our “phones”. I’m not a fan of excessive air quotes but I feel it is deserved in this case because how much do we actually use our phone for calls? I have an exorbitant amount of rollover minutes because quite frankly, I don’t like talking on the phone and if I can deliver a text to get my point across, boom, problem solved. And all without the awkward silences. It’s really an organizer, toy, time waster, camera, however you want to define it. It’s the do-it-all to end all do-it-alls. It’s the symbol of our generation that relies on convenience to be an arm’s reach away.
Before I got an iPhone, I had a Motorola Q which was complete and utter garbage. The reason I got the iPhone was because I needed a new phone that didn’t make me want to reenact Office Space and take a bat to it. I didn’t realize that I would get sucked into the world of “there’s an app for that.” All of a sudden, I had instant access to the internet, my music from my iPod synced into my phone, my calendars and contacts at my fingertips… it was pretty much the perfect phone to keep me organized. Then came the iPhone 4. Now I had Facebook, Facetime, Final Fantasy Tactics (alliteration much?), Angry Birds, Words with Friends, Instagram…these apps that I never would’ve used in 2006 that now dominate my life in 2012. It was ironic to have an device that can keep me on an organized path and then ruin it with distractions at the same time. The fact that I can go to the airport and check my work e-mails, check my gate with my scan-able boarding pass on my phone, with my headphones on listening to Spotify, and then walk to Starbucks and have them scan my Starbucks gift card off my screen…it’s not only a testament on how far we’ve come with technology, but also how absolutely screwed I am if I ever lose my phone.
As much as I am a fan of technology, I’m curious as to the turning point when I became a slave to it. Obviously it’s not just myself as many people suffer the same dilemma. Of course, there is a segment of the population that looks to the iPhone as a status symbol. Which is understandable because it is probably the trendiest technology out there, which Apple smartly marketed its products to be since the release of the first iPods a decade ago. However, while I try to take advantage of all the features on my phone, there are others that just want to purely show it off, not unlike a new outfit or accessory. It also doesn’t help that some people can’t even tell the difference between the iPhone 5 and 4s as evidenced in the video below.
I get it, it’s the new big trendy thing so not everyone is going to get on board with it. Especially when it should not be such an essential part of living and breathing that some people make it out to be. Unfortunately, in this day and age, for those handcuffed by technology, it might as well be the second coming of Jesus. I did get up at 3am in the morning to pre-order the iPhone 5 just like all the other ‘crazies’ on the east coast. It’s a valued piece of technology for me and while I can most definitely live without, I just choose not too because it simply makes my life easier to organize and also, from an ego standpoint, I like to have the new big thing to show off. That and my old iPhone looks like to got into a fight with the Expendables.
It really just depends on the perspective on the user. While I wish I can say this will be the end all be all of all phones, but it won’t. There will be an iPhone 6 or 7 that I’m sure will boot this phone and its features back into the stone age. The iPhone 5 is very evolutionary and will provide souped up features that will enhance your experience as a smart phone. That being said, this is not the game changer people are making it out to be. I think hardcore Apple users will champion its cause out of loyalty. The general public will probably identify this as an unnecessary device that only adds features that promote gimmicks as opposed to functionality. This phone is far from a necessity to the regular person but if you need to upgrade from an iPhone 4, or heaven forbid, a 3 or 3s, it may be worth a shot. We will find out on Friday and hopefully I’ll get a review up to see if the iPhone 5 will match the hype. Spoiler alert: It never does.
I Got 99 Problems and My Fanbase is One…
And so it goes as music, the music festival, and social media get jumbled up when things happen on stage.
Jay-Z’s Made in America music festival played Philadephia’s Fairmount Park September 1st and 2nd. It was widely promoted through some vague Nike-esque Budweiser (the concert’s main sponsor) commercials, but the real show continued online long after the performers had come and gone.
Seattle rockers Pearl Jam co-headlined the festival with Jigga, and it wasn’t long after the festival closed that the former’s crazy fanbase came out of the woodwork to bash the band for its performance of Jay’s “99 Problems.”
One of the more hilarious responses from Pearl Jam’s community forum:
Although the song is allegedly about being stopped by cops, the fact that he clearly says “if you’re having GIRL problems…i got 99 problems but the BITCH ain’t one” clearly suggests he’s talking about a woman not a female dog. No matter what the verses are about, the hook is what everyone sings/remembers and most people assume based on that alone that the song is about women. Was this an accident? I think not. And anyway I don’t think that the song is any better if it’s just another song where Jay-Z glorifies drug dealing. The line where he basically accuses the cops of racial profiling kills me-he’s a DRUG DEALER that’s why he’s getting pulled over.
Disregarding the fact that PJ led into the song with a version of their Malice Green-inspired “WMA”—a song itself about police brutality and racial profiling—Pearl Jam fans, for some strange reason, take their favorite band so seriously as to be nearly deranged about the band they love.
Some fans love the band so much, they wrote letters to them expressing their disgust and disappointment in the band playing “99 Problems” with Jay-Z onstage. One open letter, beginning with a reference Abigail Adams about the rights of women, espouses that the song is about “sexual profiling,” despite Jay’s insistence that the “bitch” in the song refers to a police dog.
What these ornery—and reactionary—Pearl Jam fans are missing is that musical collaboration is one thing that makes contemporary music fun, (not to mention listenable). Obviously, they never got down to The Grey Album or Max Tannone’s Jaydiohead project. To top it all off, Pearl Jam’s M.O. has always been political and social disruption since their inception, from their legal battles with Ticketmaster to Eddie Vedder wearing masks in public to avoid the press. (Not that this collaboration has anything to do with protest or social unrest; it’s just that the reaction of some fans make it seem like it.)
Sure, now that Pearl Jam are all in their 40s they might have lost a bit of that edge. But if the band you love wants to perform a song you find vile or offensive, that shouldn’t be cause for alarm; instead of lashing out, it should warrant some consideration of the fact that maybe a politically active, socially-minded band like Pearl Jam simply wants to get up on stage and have a good time every once in a while.
Kanye Contemplates B$#*% Word, Suddenly Becomes Less Douchey
Recently, rapper Kanye West decided to express his love for current girlfriend Kim Kardashian by writing a song about her called “Perfect Bitch.” Kardashian said she was not offended at all, and in fact was honored to be called West’s perfect bitch. But many fans and critics have not felt the same way. After all, is it really appropriate to call your girlfriend a bitch?
West divulged his thoughts on Twitter about the use of the word bitch, its connotations, and how who says it affects its meaning. He tweeted, “I usually never tweet questions but I struggle with this so here goes… Is the word BITCH acceptable? To be more specific, is it acceptable for a man to call a woman a bitch even if it’s endearing? Has hip hop conditioned us to accept this word?” He went on to say how it’s usually unacceptable for a white person to call a black person a nigger, but that from black to black it’s an endearment, and he wondered if bitch could be the same way: “Perhaps the words BITCH and NI**A are now neither positive or negative. They are just potent and it depends on how [they] are used and by whom? #FREETHOUGHT” [Huffington Post].
However, West then asked if people would consider it appropriate to call their mothers bitches or their fathers niggers. He said that when asked about the swearing in his songs, he was initially offended that someone would question his art, but the situation sparked him to think seriously about the topic. He revealed that he tries to “use profanity as a tool and not a crutch. I’m not tweeting to say what we need and what we don’t… I just wanted to think out loud with you guys today…” [Huffington Post].
Now I will admit I know nothing about Kanye West other than many of his songs seem vulgar and overly sexual. Case in point: he makes my blood boil when he ruins (yes, ruins) Katy Perry’s otherwise captivating and funky “E.T.” music video by floating around in a space ship while grabbing his crotch. I also know he interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV VMAs in 2009 because he thought Beyoncé deserved to win instead, an act which may be causing him to be tied to his seat this year, literally. There may be positives to West, but since the media tends to prefer spreading scandalous news as opposed to beneficial, I haven’t heard much else about him.
However, the news of West’s monologue with himself over Twitter actually caused me to also stop and ponder not only his ability to think deeply beyond the typical lyrics of a hip-hop song, but the use of swear words in my own life. I would have to agree with West that hip-hop has indeed made many more vulgar words acceptable in everyday language, but I also believe he’s sniffing the right trail when he says that it entirely depends on the intention behind the person using the word.
For example, when I was in England, I became familiar and comfortable with hearing the f-bomb because its use is roughly equivalent to an American saying damn. Also, I heard the word shit a lot from my extended family and from farmers I knew — it wasn’t a heated, crass expletive, but merely a regular old word used every day to accurately describe the state of affairs. I’d also much rather hear a happily married couple say they want to screw each other than hear a philandering, non-committal man say the same about a random girl in a bar.
Unlike West, though, I feel we do need restrictions. We definitely don’t need lots of rules; we only need one, and that is to consider others’ feelings and preferences above your own. If you are in the room with your grandmother and she does not put up with even the smallest of swear words, just don’t swear. It’s simply not worth the risk of her berating you for hours, and it’s certainly not worth ruining a relationship over. On the contrary, if your friend likes when you call her a devious little bitch, and no one else around would be offended, go right ahead.
According to my rule, I think West should have saved the name-calling only for moments between himself and Kardashian. If they feel comfortable with him calling her a bitch, that’s their decision, but they can’t expect everyone in the world not to be upset. However, I appreciate his honesty in trying analyze the linguistic significance behind the word’s usage, or any cursing in music, for that matter. Not many popular artists tend to show such insight, so my hat’s tipped to West.
5 Spins Around the Record Shop- This Week in Music
ICP: SUPER DANGEROUS GANG WITH MAKEUP ON!
According to Huffingtonpost.com, the Hip-Hop, Horrorcore duo are suing the FBI for classifying their fans as gang members! Juggalos and Juggalettes are devoted fans of bands on the Psychopathic Records label, such as ICP. The Gathering of the Juggalos is a large get-together for music, events, and Faygo showers for the fans! Apparently, according to the FBI, this is a gang-related event. On the Huff Post, they said:
The FBI maintains, however, that subsets of the Juggalos “exhibit gang-like behavior and engage in criminal activity in violence,” according to the 2011 report. The FBI classifies the Juggalos as a “loosely-organized hybrid gang.”
ICP said that they will go through the lawsuit against the FBI no matter what it takes. In the meantime, you should probably leave your clown makeup and Hatchet-man necklace at home.
NBC CAUSES OUTRAGE: CUTS OFF CLOSING CEREMONY!
NBC decided that it would be a good idea to cut off the end of the closing ceremony… bad move, NBC! Instead of the Who, Muse, and Ray Davies of the Kinks, NBC showed the world a commercial-free episode of Animal Practice. They did show the Who’s performance around midnight… but leaving out Muse?! In case you weren’t aware, Muse’s song “Survival” was the official song of the 2012 Olympics.
RIP: MARVIN HAMLISCH (1944-2012)
The composer of A Chorus Line and The Way We Were passed away August 6th in Los Angeles. The details of his death were not made public, just that he was suffering from a brief illness, and passed away. Hamlisch is one of the prestigious few to receive an Emmy, an Oscar, a Tony, and a Grammy. His talents will be sorely missed.
SHERYL CROW’S “DINER” DEBUTS NEXT YEAR!
Sheryl Crow’s musical adaptation of “Diner” is debuting on Broadway April 10, 2013! Diner was originally scheduled to show at the Curran Theatre this year in San Fransisco from October 23-November 16, according to Yahoo News. Instead of the pre-broadway debut, the time will be spent putting on a four-week fully staged workshop in New York. According to Yahoo, “Diner” is set in Baltimore at the end of 1950s and centers on a group of former high school friends as they struggle to adjust to the demands of adulthood.
‘NO DOUBT’ NEWS
I have been following No Doubt’s career pretty closely since I was 12 years old. It brings me great joy to add into this article a video for “Settle Down“- a single from their new album “Push and Shove” releasing on September 25, 2012.
That’s it for this week’s music news. Join me next week for more melodic shenanigans.
Grizzly Bomb 