The Expendables 2 Is Going To Be PG-13…Because of Chuck Norris

The news that every action fan in the world did not want to hear has been officially announced. Chuck Norris is ruining yet another action movie. The much-anticipated action flick, The Expendables 2, which was announced sometime last year, is getting the kiss of death in the form of a PG-13 rating. The reason? The film’s addition of Chuck Norris, of course. He commented, saying, “In ‘Expendables 2,’ there was a lot of vulgar dialogue in the screenplay. For this reason, many young people wouldn’t be able to watch this. But I don’t play in movies like this,” Norris explained. “Due to that I said I won’t be a part of that if the hardcore language is not erased. Producers accepted my conditions and the movie will be classified in the category of PG-13.”

Excuse my harsh language, but this is just a steaming pile of bullshit. First off, The Expendables wasn’t rated R just for its language. It was rated R for the bloody violence that we’d come to expect with an action cast of that caliber, no pun intended. To prove my point, The Expendables‘ MPAA rating says: Rated R for strong action and bloody violence throughout, and for some language. Please take note of the italicized words and what follows. Strong and bloody are both followed by action and violence, whereas language is preceded by some, a term used when said classification isn’t used excessively.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong here, but didn’t The Expendables make about $267 million dollars worldwide? Oh, that’s right, it did! And the comment about young people not being able to see it, erroneous! The small minority of young kids who are honest in their movie watching and want to see this movie without stealing it or sneaking into it can just continue being honest and rent it when it comes out on DVD, which they will. And I mean, if we’re being honest here, should young kids even be watching hardcore action fare like The Expendables?

Norris’ comments are bogus, as is his career. He’s famous for being the butt of a couple of good jokes, and even in the prime of his acting career, he was nothing special. He’s going to end up being the Billy Mays of action movies; we’ll remember him fondly, but in actuality he didn’t really do anything of significance. Stallone wrote a letter to Ain’t It Cool News’ founder, Harry Knowles, stating, “Harry, the film is fantastic with Van Damme turning in an inspired performance… Our final battle is one for the ages. The PG13 rumor is true, but before your readers pass judgement, trust me when I say this film is LARGE in every way and delivers on every level. This movie touches on many emotions which we want to share with the broadest audience possible, BUT, fear not, this barbeque of Grand scale Ass Bashing will not leave anyone hungry…Sly” But with Stallone stepping down as director and instead taking on the screenplay alone, there’s a chance that The Expendables 2 may hold on to one shred of lonely, lonely dignity, but I doubt it. Of course, all of the original cast will be returning, with Simon West in the director’s chair. The Expendables 2 is set to release on August 17th of this year.

‘Star Wars Uncut’ Fan Film Is Now Online

In 2009, web developer Casey Pugh began a massive undertaking to remake Star Wars IV: A New Hope shot-for-shot. But instead of hiring a crew and casting actors, Pugh opened the project to hundreds of strangers; Star Wars Uncut is the result of close t0 500 15-second clips re-shot by fans and uploaded to a website, where Pugh and his team worked tirelessly to edit them all together into something amazing.

The process was simple – Anyone who wanted to participate simply went to Star Wars Uncut and reserved a 15-second segment of the movie, and were free to recreate it however they liked. There were no limitations on creativity, which meant submissions ran the gamut from live-action to animation, with actors and environments changing vastly second to second. It must have been a continuity nightmare for Pugh’s crew but somehow they managed to make 4 transitions-per-minute feel surprisingly fluid and still hold on to that amateur film charm. And you can see it for yourself because now the Star Wars Uncut Director’s Cut is finally available on the internet for everyone to see. The 2-hour long film is streaming on Vimeo and on Youtube:

And how do I know so much about the creation process? I was lucky enough to participate in the project, after it was brought to my attention by a friend of mine. We spent 2 hours shooting in the halls of our university’s science building for a 15-second payoff. And being a part of it all is totally worth it (You can see the four of us from the 2:55 mark until 3:10. I am the rebel in the white shirt).

 At the beginning of Star Wars Uncut‘s production, Pugh stated he would consider continuing with the other Star Wars films if A New Hope‘s was successful. I can’t imagine a bigger success than this: Star Wars Uncut won the Creative Arts Emmy Award for Outstanding Achievement in Interactive Media, in 2010. I don’t know if there’s been any official word on an Uncut sequel, but I’d love to see a sweded version of Empire Strikes Back.

The Return of ‘Mad Men’: Season 5

For those of you who have been pining for the most boringly interesting show on television to return, and I say that as a fan, your wait is almost over.

Don, Peggy, Roger and especially Joan will be back when Mad Men finally debuts its first episode of season five March 25th on AMC.

The poster announcing the return has been creating some online controversy because of its likeness to some chilling images from 9/11, but anyone who’s upset about this is late to the party because Mad Men has been using the falling man graphic since it’s debut in 2007. This is simply a bit of Don Draper magic, capturing the viewer as simply and as powerfully as possible. It will be a relief to see the Mad Men characters back in their familiar swarthy Manhattanite atmospheres instead of popping up in various television shows and movies.

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First Look At Riddick

The first picture of Vin Diesel as Riddick is out and yup he looks about the same as he did in the last two movies. Goggles, check! Black tank top, check! Shaved head, check! Ok Mr. Diesel, you’re all set to play Riddick again.

More news from the Underverse! 

In addition to the lovely Katee Sackhoff joining the cast of the next Riddick film

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We also have two more cast members to report on, Jordi Molla and Nolan Funk.

Jordi Molla, will be playing the main villain. He is a very popular Spanish actor and you may remember him from his roles in Colombiana, Blow, and Bad Boys 2.

Nolan Funk on the other hand is not very memorable at all. He will be playing the role of annoying teenage sidekick to Riddick. He is best known for his role in Spectacular! A Nickelodeon musical tv-movie and his role as Captured X-Kid in X-Men 2.

Rumors are that the movies title will be The Chronicles of Riddick: Dead Man Stalking, but that hasn’t been made official as of yet.

That’s all for now, but keep checking back for more Riddick News!

Cormac McCarthy’s First Screenplay Gets Sold

Cormac McCarthy is a Pulitzer prize-winning author whose work has earned him a place as one of the most well-respected American writers in the world today. And while the quality of his writing has spilled over into Hollywood, where two of his novels (‘The Road’ and ‘No Country For Old Men’) have been adapted into critically acclaimed films, McCarthy himself has never tried his hand at writing a movie. Deadline reports that McCarthy’s first ever spec-script, The Counselor, is about to change that. The new screenplay is not only his first screenwriting endeavor, it’s also his first original story to go to the silver-screen. The script has been picked up by the same team of producers who backed The Road.

Deadline’s description of The Counselor:

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NFL Playoff Preview: Conference Championships

Ravens (13-4) at Patriots (14-3): 3:00 ET on CBS

The last time these two teams met in the playoffs (2009-10) the Patriots lost the game before it really even started. The Ravens came out hungry and utterly dominated the Pats in the first quarter scoring on their first play from scrimmage a 83-yard touchdown from Ray Rice. It was an absurdly lopsided game in which Joe Flacco threw only 10 passes and the Ravens rushed 42 times for 221 yards. Bill Belichick and the Patriots that remain from that season assuredly have that game burned into their memory and likely have seen all too much of that game tape in the study rooms this week. The keys to success for both teams are still very relevant from then to now.

The Ravens need to start strong and use their defense to throw Tom Brady and the Patriots off their game hopefully creating turnovers. They will also need to establish a strong running game in order to bring more balance to their pass attack. Joe Flacco has a much improved receiving core between Anquan Boldin, Lee Evans and speedster Torrey Smith. Conversely the Patriots need to control the Ravens run game, limit their turnovers and make Joe Flacco and his mustache beat them.

The Patriots are really a puzzling team. They finally got the playoff monkey off their back by dominating the Broncos for their first playoff win since losing Superbowl XLII. Let’s be honest though, the Broncos are not a good team and if you look at the Patriots schedule it’s been a long time since they played any really good teams.Since their bye week they lost to the Steelers and Giants (2 good teams) and then beat the Jets, Chiefs, Vickless Eagles, Colts, Skins, Bronocs, Dolphins and Bills. Not a lot of good competition in there.

Continue reading NFL Playoff Preview: Conference Championships