#25 – Countdown to Christmas: NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION

Hip Hip Hooray! It is that time of year again! Time for egg nog, thousands of tangled strings of lights, and paying homage to the Christmas movies that we love so much.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation released in 1989. There are several plot points in this movie all of which are based around one main goal for the Griswold family: have a great Christmas.

First things first: The Griswolds need a Christmas tree! In one scene, Clark (Chevy Chase), Ellen (Beverly D’Angelo), Audrey (Juliette Lewis) and Rusty (Johnny Galecki) went to chop down a Christmas tree for their home. The entire journey was absolutely hilarious. Everyone was freezing to death, and Clark had delusions about how glorious this tree would be… so it was too big for the house. Clark also forgot the saw, so when the tree is shown on top of the car, it is shown with roots attached.In sticking with the theme of extravagant Christmas decorations, Clark and Rusty put over 25,000 lights on the house. They struggled to get them on throughout the episode.

Another great scene is when family members began arriving to the Griswold house. First, I must mention Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) who had one of the best lines in the movie: “Merry Christmas! Shitter was full.” Then, there is elderly Aunt Bethany (Mae Questel), who wrapped a cat as a gift. Fun fact: Mae Questel did the cartoon voices for Betty Boop and Olive Oyl. Christmas Vacation was her last on camera role before her death. I love all of the crazy family members because it reminds me of my bizarre family. We are all insane, but we love each other.

The dinner was disgusting, and difficult to watch. The turkey was…. dry? It was basically non-existent. I cannot even describe how vomit-inducing the rest of the random side-dishes looked. Suffice it to say, it was bad.

Every year, Clark gets a Christmas bonus from his work. He is expecting a large bonus this year, and has already decided to use it to put a pool in their backyard. However, when his letter is delivered, Clark, he finds out that instead of a Christmas bonus, he has been given a one year subscription to the jelly of the month club. This sets Clark off into the best tangent I have ever seen in any movie to this day:

http://youtu.be/ho-YcPI8xCM

Eddie kidnaps Clark’s boss. His wife and the police show up at Clark’s house, and when his boss explains that he didn’t give the employees their Christmas bonus, she is clearly upset with him. His boss then gives him a much larger than expected bonus, sending Clark into a cartoon-like fainting spell.

The movie ends with a very touching moment outside the Griswold home when all of the lights are on and the family is close together.

This movie is one of my favorite Christmas movies of all time for several reasons::

*This movie has some of the most frequently quoted memorable lines of any film.

*I got to see Julia Louis-Dreyfus attacked by a squirrel. In my mind, it was real.

*Cousin Eddie. I know that I don’t need to explain but I will. I have never seen such a hilarious portrayal of a happy-go-lucky white-trash man than Cousin Eddie. He never disappoints.

*The Griswold kids are always different! I love that Audrey and Rusty are played by two different people in every movie.

*Aunt Bethany was asked to say the blessing at dinner, and instead said the Pledge of Allegiance. Every time I see this movie, even though I know it is coming, I laugh hysterically.

For these reasons and many more, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation gets 5/5 Charlie Brown Christmas Trees. An absolute must see Christmas flick.

For more COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS – Click it Here! 

Also Check out our COUNTDOWN TO HALLOWEEN… 

PS3’s The 10 Best Video Games of 2011

2011 has been one of the biggest and most memorable years for the video game industry that I can remember. An amazing library of games has come out in the past 11 months, and we were treated a massive fourth quarter that likely took a huge toll on your wallet. As 2012 draws ever-closer and with thanksgiving just passing by, I think it’s time we reflect on the best titles of the year. So here it is, the top 10 games of 2011:

10. Mass Effect 2

I’ll be completely honest; I’m cheating here. Those of you paying attention should know that Mass Effect 2 actually came out in 2010. I’m copping out by using the PS3 port that came out in January as a brand new release because even as a game I’d already played on the more responsive PC, ME2 is one of the most impressive space-sagas I’ve experienced in any medium.

The galaxy you explore as Commander Shepard is as deep and fully realized as those in Star Wars, Star Trek or any other galactic fantasy out there but what really makes Mass Effect 2 an amazing video game is a great story, real choices with actual narrative impact and satisfying, tight combat mechanics.

It’s a good enough package that a year later it would otherwise tie for 2nd place on my list of 2011’s best games, but I can’t quite overlook that it already came out in 2010, so I’ve compromised and put it at #10.

Continue reading PS3’s The 10 Best Video Games of 2011

The Walking Dead: Season 2, Episode 7 – “Pretty Much Dead Already”

RECAP AND REACTION: I still feel terrible for Rick. Even in the opening scene he looks somber and morose. I want to give him a hug and tell him everything is going to be okay. The first line in the episode: Glenn tells everyone that the barn is full of walkers. This obviously begins a fight. Shane says that the walkers need to be taken care of or they need to leave the land and head out. Sophia is still out there, dead or alive, and Carol and Daryl say that they cannot leave yet. Rick wants to wait to talk to Hershel because they are guests in his home and they cannot just kill his “sick” loved ones.

Rick goes to talk to Hershel and explains to him that the way they see walkers differs. Rick explains that the way the world is out there is not how Hershel saw it on TV when things first happened. He also tells Hershel that Lori is pregnant. Rick says that either they survive at the farm or they die out with the walkers.

Rick tells Shane that he talked to Hershel and that they are still negotiating. This is the first time that I have ever felt bad for Shane. Rick tells Shane that Lori is pregnant and Shane congratulates him. It is obvious that Shane is broken up by it. He doesn’t know that Rick knows about him and Lori. He clearly has questions.

Maggie pleads the group’s case when she overhears the conversation between Hershel and Rick. She told him that he has changed, and that he taught her differently. This conversation is interrupted and Hershel goes to get Rick for help. Two of the walkers who he knew got stuck in a local marsh. Hershel tells Rick that if his people are going to stay, he needs to treat the walkers like human beings.

Continue reading The Walking Dead: Season 2, Episode 7 – “Pretty Much Dead Already”

Dexter: Season 6, Episode 9 – “Get Gellar”

RECAP AND REACTION: As we know from episode 8, Dexter finds Travis and helps him escape from Gellar’s chains. Dexter takes Travis to a motel and goes back to the police department to investigate.

When Deb is in her therapy session, she opens up more about Dexter. Also, about all of the insanely bad things that have happened to her in her life. The therapist suggests that they see each other more than once a week… understood.

Quinn… scumbag… lost his gun and his phone in a romp with a stripper.Oh no… not a stripper… a waffle house waitress. An old one. Oh gosh, some karma for Quinn is delicious. When Quinn for some reason thinks that he has the right to tell off Batista, they get into a fist-fight. This part could have been very entertaining. It was not. Someone’s gun could have gone off, someone could have gotten thrown in front of a car… yet nothing interesting happened and the fight was broken up by a passer-by.

Part of the reason Dexter is helping Travis and including him in his plan to get Gellar on his killing table is because he wants to give Travis the second chance that he, himself never got. Although I think that is very sweet, why does Dex suddenly have a soul? Why does he care what happens to Travis? WHY is Dexter so damn friendly this season? I miss the cold-blooded loner. Gellar somehow evaded Dexter and Travis and kidnapped his next victim, Casey. Casey is an atheist professor whom Gellar loathes.

Continue reading Dexter: Season 6, Episode 9 – “Get Gellar”

FX Announces Return Dates for ‘Archer’ and ‘Justified’

Alright gang, fire up your DVRs and get ready for FX’s best shows not about Bikers or bars in Philadelphia to return.

First is the animated brilliance that is Archer. The story of a self-indulgent, American James Bond-Type (a comparison he doesn’t welcome), and the barley functional agency by which he is employed, Sterling Archer is television’s most entertaining spy. And come Thursday, January 19th, he is back on FX.

That follows though, the premiere of the 3rd season of Justified, which will air 2 nights earlier on the 17th.  Justified is maybe my favorite show on all of television, and is the earlier casting announcements (here and here) are any indication, this newest season is primed to continue the 2 years worth of excellent programming we’ve come to expect.

FX continues to edge out Showtime, AMC, and HBO as my favorite network for original programming.

In Case You Missed It: Submarine

There’s a very fine line between a great coming-of-age movie and a really annoying coming-of-age movie. Great coming-of-age movies have interesting characters, good writing, and are very relatable. Annoying coming-of-age movies have none of these qualities and are very irritating because of this. We, as audiences, have seen an abundance of both. Coming-of-age movies work because they relate to people of all ages; teenagers experiencing what’s going on in the film, and adults who want to reminisce. In the film Submarine, 15-year-old Oliver Tate (Craig Roberts) narrates the events going on his life, most notably the possible divorce of his two parents and his undying and premature love for Jordana Bevan (Yasmin Paige), a girl who he’s been watching for a while now, waiting to make his move. Oliver hasn’t quite found his place in life yet, and he seems to be on an eternal search. He doesn’t quite have his parents Lloyd and Jill (Noah Taylor and Sally Hawkins) to look up to, as Oliver suspects his mother to be having an affair with an old flame who moved in next door, Graham Purvis (Paddy Considine). Graham is a “self-help guru” and Oliver’s mother is completely infatuated with him while his scientist father attempts to subtly reconcile.

Submarine has everything that a good coming-of-age film should have except a plot. The film’s near two-hour running time drags exponentially, and it seems like style took precedence over substance. Music video director Richard Ayoade gives an amazing flair to Submarine’s otherwise bland content. He does however spice things up with a soundtrack by Alex Turner of Arctic Monkeys, who he shot a video for a couple of years ago to promote their single “Cornerstone”. Incidentally, I owned the soundtrack almost a full year before seeing the film, and I happen to think it’s one of the best albums of 2011, but that’s a different story for a different review.

Ayoade also penned the screenplay that is lacking severely in pacing, relatability, and likeable characters. There’s also an overuse of annoying narration by our protagonist. It seems unnecessary after a while, and is accompanied by stylish montages that had me thinking how much shorter this film actually could’ve been. The disconnect, in my opinion, is the eagerness to differentiate itself from the source material, a novel of the same name by Joe Dunthorne, but in doing that, it reveals its core dependency on it. Characters and situations are changed, but in the end, it all felt like a rushed and loose adaptation that wanted to be more.

As far as characters go, none of them are strictly speaking likeable or even relatable, especially Oliver. His narcissism and facetiousness gets annoying after about 10 minutes, and the entrance of Jordana saved this movie from being turned off my TV. She represents the girl we all knew in high school, and her performance is fantastic.

Oliver’s mother is so beyond ungrateful that you wonder what made Mr. Tate, a mild-mannered and well-meaning father, marry her in the first place.

Surprisingly, Ben Stiller produced Submarine. Stiller is known mostly for his slapstick and family comedies by most, but we can’t forget his cult classics Heavyweights, The Cable Guy, and to some degree of cult-ishness, Tropic Thunder. At first I was shocked to see his name anywhere need this film, but after a while, it began to make a little bit of sense.

Submarine is a lot of things, but groundbreaking isn’t one of them. In fact, it really isn’t even very entertaining, and without its stylish direction, likeable female lead, and fantastic soundtrack, it would’ve been nothing at all.

2/5 Bears