Ok, so I think we can all agree that GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra was a horse shit movie, and this is a fact that apparently was not lost on the filmmakers. They took the opportunity to create a sequel and immediately killed off everyone from the first movie – Brilliant. Cut ties with that dog shit. They traded out Dennis Quaid for Bruce Willis – win. Replace Marlon Wayans with The Rock? Super win. Then you add in pieces like Boyd Crowder, The Punisher, and my girl Adrianne Palicki – I’m actually excited for the sequel to a movie I almost walked out on.
Here is the official synopsis and new images for G.I. Joe: Retaliation, courtesy of Stark Industries:
A follow-up to the 2009 release of G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA, which grossed over $300M worldwide, Paramount Pictures, MGM and Skydance Productions, in association with HASBRO and di Bonaventura Pictures, commences production on G.I. JOE: RETALIATION. In this sequel, the G.I. Joes are not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence. The film stars D.J. Cotrona, Byung-hun Lee, Ray Park, Adrianne Palicki, Jonathan Pryce, RZA, Ray Stevenson, Channing Tatum with Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson. Directed by Jon M. Chu, and produced by Lorenzo di Bonaventura and Brian Goldner, from a screenplay by Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick based on Hasbro’s G.I. Joe(R) characters, the film is scheduled to be released on June 29,2012.
In addition to several more pictures (Below), and the trailer we already showed you, there is also a new trailer after the jump…
Movie looks pretty entertaining. Willis will be his usual wise cracking badass, and we’re sure to see Snake Eyes kicking some ass, and you can even argue that it is an upgrade at director with Jon M. Chu replacing Stephen Sommers. And seriously, how often can you can the Director of Step Up 3 and Justin Bieber: Never Say Never is an upgrade over anyone? Well that is how much I despise Sommers, who is constantly handed awesome projects and consistently churns out mediocre films.
Anyhow, here are some more pictures from the movie, collected from around the web…
Looks like most of this movie will be spent with people pointing their guns at stuff.
And now, just for fun, here are some important lessons from the Joes…
DOGS ARE RACIST:
DON’T BE A DICKHEAD
DEEP SIX & LEATHERNECK LIKE KIDS IN BATHING SUITS
IF YOU GIVE A STRANGER YOUR ADDRESS, THEY WILL RAPE YOU
We seem to spend a lot of time talking about the various new mind-blowing movies that come out bigger and better every year. So we figured it was time to bring out the science again and put together a list of our 25 Most Anticipated Films of 2012.
Now we are only talking about the March-September slate of movies as some haven’t received official release dates yet, so keep that in mind.
Each member of the staff made a list. These lists will be compiled from a point system determined by votes from each member of the staff. It’s very scientific, we used Excel. Our resident cinephile joey123mo will take a look at each movie and outline why it made our list of Most Anticipated Films of 2012!
25. Project X
Why we’re excited to see it: Any party this big caught on camera is a cinematic event worthy of a trip to the theater any day.
24. Casa de Mi Padre
Why we’re excited to see it: Will Ferrell does the entire role in Spanish and Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna play the villains. Need I say more? [Trailer]
23. Cabin in the Woods
Why we’re excited to see it: Joss Whedon co-writes this R-rated horror that promises an equal amount of genuine scares and nauseating gore. [Trailer]
Why we’re excited to see it: In Jason Statham’s rendition of The Professional, anything and everything will go wrong while we, the viewer, sit back and watch with excitement.
Why we’re excited to see it: The other major Guy Pearce vehicle besides this year’s Prometheus boasts first-rate special effects and an interesting plot to keep action fans pleased. [Trailer]
20. Pirates! Band of Misfits
Why we’re excited to see it: Aardman Pictures wow’ed critics and audiences alike with last year’s Arthur Christmas, and with a great track record in animation, they seem to be the only studio capable of releasing animated films that can rival the likes of Pixar.
19. Bullet to the Head
Why we’re excited to see it: The casting of Sylvester Stallone and Christian Slater paired up with a deliciously retro plot make this an action flick straight outta ’93 that we’re ready to watch. [Pics]
18. Men in Black 3
Why we’re excited to see it: After a 10 year break from the series, and a four year break from movies, Will Smith returns to the Men in Black franchise ready to roll with his Agent J persona locked down. Also, Jemaine Clement. [Trailer]
17. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
Why we’re excited to see it: The oddly morose premise makes this an excellent vehicle for Steve Carell who is one of the most well-versed comedians working in Hollywood today.
16. Wettest County
Why we’re excited to see it: With a star-studded cast that includes recent Oscar nominee Gary Oldman and rising star Tom Hardy, as well as a fascinating storyline, Wettest County looks to be a fascinating action flick that has a brain on its head.
15. G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Why we’re excited to see it: Casting The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) and Bruce Willis in this new Hasbro adaptation seemed to be the correct choice for a sequel to the piece of shit surprising hit that was GI Joe. [Trailer]
Why we’re excited to see it: With a script by Jay Baruchel and Evan Goldberg, and starring Seann William Scott in the title role, Goon has an interesting premise and promises a good dose of bloody laughs to go with its premise. [Trailer]
13. Total Recall
Why we’re excited to see it: This remake starring Colin Farrell and Jessica Biel seems to stray from the original movie and relate more to Philip K. Dick’s We Can Remember It for You Wholesale while still breathing new life into the story.
12. 21 Jump Street
Why we’re excited to see it: Advance screenings of this remake of the popular 1987 show have been overwhelmingly positive, with viewers calling it the smartest and funniest teen comedy since Superbad. More importatnly though – Ron Swanson is in it. [Trailer]
11. The Raven
Why we’re excited to see it: John Cusack as Edgar Allan Poe hunting a serial killer. That’s enough.
And now for the Top 10:
10. The Hunger Games
Expected to be the next major series after the Harry Potter movies (no pressure), The Hunger Games has a lot of people to please, and a lot to live up to. Starring Oscar-nominee Jennifer Lawrence, and the talented young star known as Josh Hutcherson, The Hunger Games has a good cast locked down to the project. And with a sequel already in the works, as well as running the risk of releasing the film in IMAX, the distributors seems to have no problem putting their faith and their money in this project.
My only worry is the preview. Because frankly, it’s not bad. It’s really bad. It’s really, really bad. I’m talking City of Ember, Journey To the Center of the Earth bad. I’ll take that a step further and say Arthur and the Invisibles bad. Still, with so much faith invested in the project, the studio “knows best”, so I guess we’ll have to wait until the film’s quickly approaching opening night.
Release Date: March 23rd
9. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
This has to be the most ridiculous entry on the list, beating out Expendables 2 at the “Most Likely to Suck” award. An adaptation from the popular genre-bending novel, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is exactly that; Abraham Lincoln hunting vampires. Produced by Tim Burton, who I’m totally over as a filmmaker, and starring relative unknown Benjamin Walker, AL:VH has to pull off quite a miracle to impress audiences.
With a script co-written by the author of the actual novel, there’s still some doubt that the film will follow the book (see: I Love You, Beth Cooper), but in the right hands, AL:VH will have the ability to cross genres, and cross them well.
Release Date: June 22nd
8. John Carter
Anyone who’s seen the previews for John Carter have noticed the signature Disney stamp. For those of you who judge books by their covers, you probably let out a slight groan of disapproval. I’m here to tell you to shut up. One of the best action movies of the last few years was TRON: Legacy. Guess who produced that? Disney. Guess who also produced the best animation movies of the last 15 years? Disney. As for Disney Channel, despite a sudden and disappointing turn in subject matter, stars, and shows, they still have hits like “Wizards of Waverly Place” and “Phineas & Ferb” to keep things afloat.
The surprising PG-13 rating for the film is also a plus. Add that to the equation, which already includes positive reviews from advance screenings and audiences, and you’ve got a surefire hit on your hands. The film also stars up and coming star Taylor Kitsch, whose acclaimed performance as Tim Riggins on “Friday Night Lights” garnered him quite the following. John Carter seems to have hit all the right notes, and may be the year’s first major blockbuster.
Release Date: March 9th
While we all have a bad taste left over from 1995’s Judge Dredd starring Sylvester Stallone, Dredd promises something different. It will hopefully be based more off of the original source material and less from the aforementioned movie. Dredd’s original adventures in 2000 A.D. and his subsequent series produced a faithful fan following that will definitely be in theaters for this one.
Starring Karl Urban as the title character, Dredd follows Judge Dredd, a futuristic super-cop who works with the local police force to take down a drug kingpin who is distributing the reality-altering substance known as SLO-MO. A trailer hasn’t been released yet, but the film co-stars Olivia Thirlby. And I mean, let’s be honest, have you ever seen a bad movie that stars or even features Olivia Thirlby? No. You haven’t.
Release Date: September 21st
6. The Expendables 2
Anyone who’s taken the time to read some of my other Expendables 2 related material knows that I have problems with the sequel to the 2010 cult hit. The biggest problem that comes to mind is the fact that the film will be rated PG-13. Now, call me old fashioned, but when I go see an action movie, I like to see people getting killed the right way; with lots and lots of blood.
Now, I have no problem with the restraint of cursing in a movie. Honestly, it makes no difference either way, but when you take away my blood and guts, Baby gets angry. And you don’t want to push Baby into a corner. Nobody puts Baby in a corner. Still, I’ll give the film a shot, only because I enjoyed the first one so much.
Release Date: August 17th
5. The Bourne Legacy
You’d think that Hollywood would learn at this point that taking an idea and beating it into the ground just doesn’t work. But no, instead of abandoning the billions of dollars they make from the shit they release, they’ve decided to do us all one better and improve the reboots from being shit to being, well, kind of cool.
That’s exactly what The Bourne Legacy is going to be. Cool. Casting Jeremy Renner in the not-so-title role (the tagline is: There was never just one) as Aaron Cross. The film brings back almost the entire supporting cast as well as original trilogy writer Tony Gilroy who also penned the Oscar-nominated script for Michael Clayton. There’s pretty much no way in hell The Bourne Legacy isn’t going to be badassery at its finest. Especially after an action-packed and stylish teaser trailer that had me literally begging for more.
Release Date: August 3rd
Ridley Scott? Michael Fassbender? Noomi Rapace? Charlize Theron? An amazing teaser? An Alien prequel, you say?! Count me in! The newest film from visionary genius Ridley Scott has fans of Alien jumping for joy. In this prequel, Noomi Rapace and Charlize Theron star as explorers who are looking to discover the origins of man, but end up finding what may be the beginning of the end.
The breathtaking teaser trailer as well as the full-length trailer promise some of Ridley Scott’s best work, and it seems like there was a lot of work that went into this project to ensure its success. With all the mystery surrounding the movie and Scott’s own confidence in his film, its no surprise that we are all waiting for this one.
Release Date: June 8th
3. The Amazing Spider-Man
Too early for a reboot, remake, re-imagining, or re-anything, you say? No, no, no. It’s nothing but the perfect time for a new Spider-Man to hit the theaters. Allow me to further my explanation. While the original Spider-Man trilogy will stand the test of time for generations to come, the fact of the matter is, Sam Raimi and Co. kind of just gave the middle finger to the comics and incorporated characters and plot lines rather than following the story that the original comic books laid out for them.
In this reboot, (500) Days of Summer director Marc Webb seems to follow the books more closely than the original trilogy ever dared to, adding in the subplot of Peter Parker’s CIA parents, his inability to create a web on his own without advanced technology, as well as the deletion of Mary-Jane Watson/Harry Osborn from the equation; because frankly, Parker met neither of those people until college. With Andrew Garfield in the lead instead of Tobey MacCryer, and Emma Stone instead of Kirsten Dunce, it looks like The Amazing Spider-Man might just play by the rules that were meant to be followed back in 2002 when Peter Parker first put on those red and blue tights.
ReleaseDate: July 3rd
2. The Avengers
One of the many anticipated superhero movies of the year, The Avengers takes all of the characters from all the Marvel Comic flicks you’ve been watching since Iron Man, puts them all in one movie, hires the God that is Joss Whedon to write and direct, and hopes for the best. What looks to be one of the most heart-pounding action films of the year stars the likes of Robert Downey Jr., Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johannson, Chris Evans, Samuel L. Jackson, and Jeremy Renner as The Avengers, the most kick-ass group of superheroes to hit comic stands.
The Avengers has the benefit of a fantastic cast and director, but may suffer from an overstuffed plot featuring too many characters. Whedon himself has confirmed that the film will be told from the perspective of Steve Rogers, AKA, Captain America. It’s a decision that makes sense considering how the Marvel movie plot line seems to end with Captain America being thrust into the modern world. Here’s to hoping that everything works out like it should for this band of “Real World” rejects turned crime-fighting super-group.
Release Date: May 4th
1. The Dark Knight Rises
The conclusion to Christopher Nolan’s truly epic trilogy promises to be nothing but both an epic finish and a bittersweet goodbye to the best interpretation of Batman to hit the screen in…ever. With another star-studded cast, an impeccably genius plot, and possibly the most vulnerable Bruce Wayne the world has ever seen, writer and director Christopher Nolan seems to have yet again hit the mark.
Much of the plot is still under wraps, as it should, but from what we know now, it seems like Bruce Wayne took a break from his double life, but must return to conquer Bane, the biggest and baddest supervillain to hit Gotham since the Joker had his way. The trailer is just enough of a tease to get the asses in the seats in time for a July 21st release. Also, am I really the only one who’s hoping for a little Robin tease at the end like they did during the last scene of Batman Begins with the Joker’s card? I mean, come on.
Release Date: July 20th
That wraps up this edition of our Most Anticipated Films of 2012 (March-Sept)! What a year of movies we have to look forward to.
What movie are you most looking forward to? Sound off in the comments section below!
Toy Fair 2012 wraps up today in the city that never sleeps and from action figures to high-tech toys to creepy Barbies that take photos and then display them on their stomach there’s something for everyone.
LEGO’s ninja-themed playset NINJAGO Fire Temple was good enough to win Activity Toy of the Year award but makes me glad I don’t have kids yet when I see the $120 price tag. Yikes!
Perhaps one of the weirdest/coolest/most useless items available this year is the opportunity to pre-order an authentic replica Back to the Future hover board! It does disclaim actual hovering but does allow you to release your inner Marty McFly for what is still an undisclosed price until early March.
I don’t think that anything could possibly redeem the G.I. Joe movie franchise at this point since that crapfest that was the first G.I. Joe, but I’m sure giving the people behind this movie some credit for trying thus far. The cast seems too good to be true… or to be in this movie. Not only is Channing Tatum returning (Puke), but there are some newcomers you may have heard of. The first is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who recently twittered a picture of him as his character in the sequel, Roadblock:
Now I’m not saying the Rock is a great actor but he definitely has the ability to draw people to the box office. His star presence helped push the latest Fast and Furious movie to the brink of box office juggernaut. Also joining up into the ranks is the one and only Bruce Willis as G.I. Joe commander Joe Colton. This one surprised me the most and made me wonder if Willis was going the Samuel L. Jackson route of just appearing in any movie that would pay him. Also joining the film are Walton Goggins (The Shield, Justified), Ray Stevenson (Book of Eli, Punisher: War Zone), and Adrianne Palicki, the hot Wonder Woman who never saw the light of day. That is one decent cast filled with a lot of actors/actresses that I enjoy, minus Channing Tatum of course. Once they manage to get a trailer out I can pass judgement on whether or not I’ll be sucked in by this follow-up to that Stephen Sommers piece of trash.