Tag Archives: Anna Paquin

True Blood – #WaitingSucks but a new trailer doesn’t!

I’ve mentioned it before, (here in the S.H.I.E.L.D. trailer write-up) but I love when shows embrace social media, especially when they come up with a clever hashtag with which to brand themselves. There are few better than the HBO vampire show, True Blood, with their #WaitingSucks campaign. In addition to having something that is easy for people to spread around twitter, they put out YouTube videos as well.

Just a few behind the scenes look at filming for season 6, that’s all. Of course with everything that happened in season 5, people are looking for any little clue as to what season 6 holds. To refresh your memory, how about a brief overview of True Blood last season?

So yea. Bill is now Lillith, Alcide is pack leader, Jason still is seeing “Mom and Dad” who aren’t really there, and who is Warlow? Will Jason finally clear his head this season and there’s been a lot of rumor floating around about someone dying… especially with episode 7 titled “The Funeral”. Could it be Eric? There’s plenty of people speculating that it is, especially after the key art was released.

True Blood

I don’t think that looks like anyone specifically but there is a large contingent of people out there who are convinced that it’s Alexander Skarsgard’s character Eric Northman. Of course no one over at HBO is going to let that secret out so we’ll just have to wait and see.

How about some teasers though? Ask and you shall receive.

Our first glimpses of genre legend Rutger Hauer! Looks pretty good right? Of course it does, it’s True Blood! Even when they have an “off” season (some will argue that they’ve never had an off season, even if we all know season 4 sucked) it’s still pretty entertaining. One thing that I hope they continue is the whole vlog aspect they had with Jessica this past season. I just can’t help myself, I love it when shows do things like this.

Of course it doesn’t hurt that Deborah Ann Woll is easy on the eyes either.

True Blood

So there you go- teasers, trailers, recaps of season 5… I daresay we are ready. Are you looking forward to True Blood season 6? Have any theories as to who is going to die? Who will live? Let us know in the comments!

True Blood season 6 premieres on HBO on June 16th at 9 EST.

Countdown to Halloween #9: Sam

Sam is the governing body who resides over all Halloween traditions in 2007’s Trick ‘r Treat.  He is the physical embodiment of all things Halloween.  He’s the trick or treater, the scary story, the full moon, the blowing leaves.  Everything that makes Halloween what it is, he is an integral part.  He is all that’s evil, all that’s good.  His only demand is that you abide by tradition.  What ever you do, don’t run out of candy.

Have you ever blown out a jack o lantern before midnight?  Wrong!  Have you ever pretended not to be home when trick or treaters stopped by?  Wrong!  Never steal a trick or treaters candy.  Never take more than one piece.  These are simple rules that we can all follow.  If not, your destined to meet Sam, #9 on the Grizzly Bomb Countdown to Halloween.

The development of the character stems from the originations of the holiday itself.  All Hallows Eve is the time in which the border between the living and the dead is at its thinest.  Pagan traditions were established to keep the dead satisfied so they would not enter into the world of the living.  These traditions evolved into the Halloween that we know today.

Sam is the creation of writer director Michael Dougherty.  He was originally introduced in Dougherty’s short titled Season’s Greetings.  Sam is a patrolling trick or treater wondering around after the festivities have ended.  Shortly there after, we see that Sam is being stalked by an unidentified shadowy figure.  As offered up earlier in the short, we know that children have gone missing in the area and we suspect this unidentified man may be after Sam.  To our surprise, the prey was really the predator all along.

This short served as inspiration for the full length feature film Trick ‘r Treat in which Sam was truly brought to life.  The anthology also stars Anna Paquin, Brian Cox, and Dylan Baker in four interwoven stories.  Present in all stories spanning the course of thirty years is Sam, the spirit of Halloween. Sam’s name is derived from the term Samhain, the Gaelic celebration that coincides with Halloween in which the light half of the year is separated from the dark half.  The derivative of the holiday is in part, a portrayal of Sam as well.  He is trapped between good and evil and sometimes falls on either side.  We see his active participation in all four stories, and aside from the brutal dismemberment of Leslie Bibb, his actions all seem fairly reasonable to protect the holiday.  He is the checks and balances of Halloween.  In most instances, evil is punished in this film and for those who were not, their time will come.  Sam will make sure of it.

Sam physically takes shape as a trick or treater.  He wears orange footie pajamas, and a burlap sack over his head.  He has the hands and feet of a child, but revealed during a fight scene with Brian Cox we see that he is not as sweet and innocent as presumed.  All the more telling that Sam is the essence of Halloween, his head is a combination of a pumpkin and a skeleton.  His guts are actually pumpkin guts.  He is indestructible and timeless.

The film was also transferred to a graphic novel published by Wildstorm in December of 2009.  It is primarily a true adaptation with little movement from the original story.  For this reason, I would recommend checking out the film before anything else.

I love Halloween.  I can’t quite explain it, but I know it’s there.  I love the atmosphere, the excitement, the mystery.  Growing up in Michigan, the weather would always be perfect.  The air smelled amazing.  There was always this lingering feeling of haunt and fright dangling in the air.  Fun and mischief were at every corner.  I have associated the horror genre of film with this time of year, and I can think of no better film that captures that feeling better than Trick ‘r Treat.  Because Sam is the driving force of this film, I can think of no greater character that belongs on the Grizzly Bomb Countdown to Halloween.

Keep an eye out as another character on the Countdown will be revealed every night at 12:01 am for the rest of the month. You’ll also be able to find them HERE.

HBO’s True Blood 5.07 – “In the Beginning”

It just wouldn’t be True Blood if we didn’t open with someone’s blood everywhere.  This time it’s Roman’s; and his absence creates quite an upheaval at the Authority headquarters.  It’s fascinating how much humanity remains in these vampires.  As soon as one strong figure-head is removed from the picture, how quickly we can all jump on board with another, even if their principles and ideals could not be more different.  Most people want someone at the helm leading them through life more than they want to stand up for what they believe is right.

We know now that Salome released Russell, which was no surprise, and Nora was her accomplice.  Eric and Bill seem to be standing up for their principles as long as they can.  Eric drops one of the best one-liners we’ve heard from him in ages when he calls the three of them “Bible banging cunts.”

Man, I’ve missed him!  He’s had no personality lately; almost as bad as last season when he turned into Sookie’s sweet little farmboy boyfriend. Then everyone drinks Lilith’s blood and this happens:

Spring Break ’86!!!

Look how Bill prances around New Orleans on Eric’s back, like he’s riding a great Viking steed.  Look how Russell Edgington wears his sunglasses at night and a fedora, like a Blues Brother.  Even the tall black guy from Spartacus is having a good time. I thought their feeding frenzy in the bar was pretty bizarre; especially when Lilith became a naked woman (NSFW) who roared like a velociraptor.  I did like that they brought Godric back to ask Eric to look after Nora and help her make good decisions.  As Eric is tripping out of his mind, Godric’s warning seems a little … tardy.

As crazy as their whole story was this episode, I’m really loving the Authority right now, especially with Russell Edgington.  This war between vampires and humans, this building and rising up against mainstreaming, is so much more interesting than the garbage we’ve been subjected to in previous seasons.  Witches?  Maenads?  Sam’s redneck shifter family?  Inbreeders in Hot Shot?  Talk about your Vom Squad.  We’re finally getting a story arc we can really sink our teeth into, pun intended.  It’ll be interesting to see what happens now that the organization that led and controlled the vampire mainstreaming movement has been infiltrated and crumbles before our eyes.

As far as minor story lines go, some of them are pretty good.  I’m actually really starting to get into the relationship building between Pam and Tara.  We’ve been given such an intimate glimpse into Pam’s past and how she became the way that she is; her vulnerability is more evident.  Now that Eric has released her, she’s (secretly) finding joy in being needed by Tara, who is far less annoying with Pam in the room.  One bitch by herself could not be more annoying, but put two bitches together and you have gold, my friend.  Just like grandma used to say.

While I still can’t get totally into the whole shifter thing, it’s nice to see Sam using his powers for something good; rolling around on the floor, solving crimes.  He and Andy make quite the comedic team as well; though I think Andy could make anything funny.

I can’t help feel like this “hate group” that formed is a little overdone and predictable.  Humans still hate supers, we get it.  I don’t understand the use of the Obama masks.  And I hate that Hoyt is involved. Alcide’s pursuit of being pack master is still a little vague, and hit or miss.  Needless to say, I’m not invested. Terry and his flame monster should just be cut.  Completely. I don’t even want to know what’s happening with Lafayette and those crazy Mexicans.  Kudos to the pregnant lady for stabbing the shit out of Jesus’ gramps though.  I don’t see what the overall point of all of this bruja nonsense is.  It’s weird, and gross.

We also learn in this episode that Sookie’s faerie powers will run out if she uses them up; and that she could be normal if they do.  After learning that her parents were attacked and killed by a vampire because of her bloody band-aid in the back of their car (gross), she’s feeling a little guilty and wants to get rid of her abnormalities.  What to do?  Use your microwave hands over and over again until the voices stop.  I’d like to see the footage of Anna Paquin doing her faerie removal dance before the effects were put in; I’d bet that would be worth seeing.

Despite the fact that some of the side stories are lacking, I’m going to say again that I’m really digging this season.  I thought this episode in particular was great.  I’m really loving the Authority, the pacing was upbeat and interesting, and the side stories were kept to a minimum.

There is one thing I feel like this season is lacking, and I know I’m going to sound like a total girl, but there is no love story.  I don’t say this because I need all the mushy stuff, those of you that know me well know I’d choose Die Hard over The Notebook always. [<—- Ed. Note – And this is why she writes for this site] In every situation.  However, there’s nothing redeeming anyone, nothing we’re rooting for, nothing endearing us to the characters.  Most great stories have a love story for these very reasons.

The bears have spoken, and 4.5 of them recommend seeing this episode.  The other half of the fifth bear watched The Bachelorette instead.


And by decree of the editor, your obligatory Jessica pic…

Chris Meloni and Scott Foley Join the Cast of True Blood!

Summer time is right around the corner, and so is the premier of the 5th season of HBO’s True Blood.  We’ve covered some of what we know about season five, let’s get caught up to speed on the rest of what we can expect!

This upcoming season of True Blood, as we know, will focus a lot on fairies.  We agree that this all sounds super lame.  Like Ferngully lame.  Which is really only a good movie if you make it into a drinking game where you take a shot every time they say the word “human.”  However, I am actually pretty stoked about what I’m hearing in casting news and the trailers I’ve seen so far.

First of all, we will be introduced to what is referred to as The Authority, which is an ancient order of really old vampires that makes the American Vampire League look like the Babysitters Club.  This Authority is run by none other than Chris Meloni.  That’s right.  Motha f–kin’ Detective Stabler.

As an unnaturally devoted fan to Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, I am thrilled!  He is badass enough to pull off the role of an ancient, powerful vampire.  Plus, he’s got that smirky douche-bag look that reminds me somewhat of Bruce Willis, one of Hollywood’s most legendary badasses.  Meloni’s character has a history and a storyline that will weave in with Eric’s and Bill’s.  This, coupled with the introduction of Eric’s vampire sister (Lucy Griffiths), gives me hope that we will get a decent chunk of back story about our favorite vamps.  Huzzah!

Shifting gears, the other new regular cast member we can expect is Scott Foley, who plays Terry’s former commanding officer from Iraq.  Everyone is pretty tight-lipped about why he’s in town and what his unfinished business is with Terry; just that something happened between them in Iraq that needs to be resolved, like a mission that needs to be completed.  Sounds pretty gay to me.  Terry’s character and storyline in the last season have provided some amazing comic relief (when his baby isn’t haunted), so I’m hoping these guys have good funny chemistry.

True Blood returns to HBO June 10!!!!

More Helpings of ‘True Blood’ – HBO Signs on for Season Five

True Blood fans, rejoice!  Creator Alan Ball has announced that the hit HBO series will continue for a fifth season under his own executive producer-ship.  Rumor has it that HBO has signed the series on for more than one continuing season, Alan Ball only agreeing to be at the helm for one more (though he may decide to continue his run).

Ball also stated that he and his team have several ideas being bounced around for the next season, including an origin story about one of the vampires.  Many people seem to think that we will get more of Pam’s story, which he hinted to at Comic-Con.  That and we have origin stories banked for Bill, Eric, and Jessica; so she’s really the next obvious choice.

This news has brought me hope, a proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.  If you’ve read my reviews, you’ll know that I haven’t been overly impressed by the fourth season.  In fact, the series as a whole has become more and more underwhelming since the first season.  This gives them a chance to redeem themselves and make the series good again.  However, there’s also the chance that True Blood will just continue its nose-dive and become another Heroes, a series that never lived up to its freshman season.

My fear is that of predictability.  New seasons on True Blood usually mean a new mythical beast to be added to the bevy of already existing creatures.  Another person to keep track of, another story line to be added to the ever-growing pile, a more pronounced form of television script-writing A.D.D.  And really, how many mythical beasts are there left to cover?  Phoenixes?  Griffins?  Centaurs?  Nymphs?  Or are these all too similar to creatures we’ve already seen before?  I wish they’d just start killing off people that we don’t need anymore that seem to have dead-end stories.  Like Tommy.

Now, I haven’t read the True Blood books.  Maybe I should.  Maybe it would prevent me from picturing the creative team using a folklore dictionary to pull out random ideas of what they haven’t covered yet.  Stories need to happen organically, they can’t be forced and they can’t be scattered.  To those who just want to watch a good story, it feels like Alan Ball is a collector, and his object is weird creatures and boring characters.  Sometimes I wish he would just collect stamps.  If he can’t make this show better, I hope he does move aside after season five and let someone else have a try.

Review: HBO’s True Blood 4.04 – “I’m Alive and on Fire”

In case you’ve missed anything – Click Here

Though I thought this season had easily the weakest premiere of any season to date, the episodes since then however, have been some of the most entertaining ever. And that’s saying something consider how little I care about most of the storylines. 

After Eric hilariously tragically killed Sookie’s fairy godmother he becomes extremely inebriated (read: drunk off his ass) and funnier than ever. He pinches Sookie’s butt and then takes off into the woods…just prior to sunrise. Now all this makes for a mighty fun watch. Sookie and the wolf track Eric down in the water, as the fairy blood in his system is starting to wear off. Lucky timing.

Outside of the Sookie/Eric story, which encompasses the werewolf as well, the next best section tonight was surprisingly the ‘Jason vs. the Hillbilly Panthers’ part. He escapes – finally – and kills Felton, delivering a favor to the entire viewing audience. This is the section that normally bores me, but when Jason drove that stake through the Panther Felton, I actually cared for a minute.

Bill finds out that the crazy chick from Dexter that he banged last week is his great great ect. ect. granddaughter. Ewww. But hey, at least Mona Robinson is her’s and Andy’s grandmother.

Jason later collapses by the road where luckily some friends are driving by – Jessica and Hoyt. The young couple is barely in this one, but Hoyt’s adopted replacement – Tommy seeks out his mother only to be predictably betrayed again. Sam will no doubt eventually free Tommy from his newly restored prison, but for the time being, I’m not worried about him. The whole shifter collective is pretty lame right now, I mean really, you can be any animal and none of them choose a bear? Pathetic.

The other story picked up tonight was the witches, or more accurately, how they dealt with Pam. Marnie once again channeled the witch that we saw in the premiere (and in an earlier flashback) and triggers Pam’s face to begin rotting. It was awesome. Growing up in the 80’s (pre-Twilight) this is the kind of thing you’d expect from a show or movie about vampires and werewolves and witches and demons.

Face Rotting Off > Sparkly Vampires

Aside from Pam and Eric, my other favorite part has to be the development of Terry and Arlene’s baby…and IT’S CREEPY DOLL!!!

Overall, good – not great. I’d give it 3.5 Bears. Might’ve been lower because of so little Jessica, but the baby, the drunk Eric, and Pam’s face rotting off, those all count big in my book…


And just because…

Review: HBO’s ‘True Blood’ Season 4, Episode 3 – “If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin?”

Well Megan is indisposed this week, so your friendly neighborhood Doc is gonna fill in tonight. Now I’ll be up front – over the first couple episodes this season we’ve got a lot of story lines to follow, and I care about almost none of them. I mostly don’t care about the fairies though. Mostly. I don’t like Jesus or Tara, but Lafayette is always fun, and their coven of witches became a hell of a lot more interesting last week when they owned Eric.  They still fall well below the Vampire council in terms of what I want to see however.

True Blood

Sam’s shifter community and Jason’s redneck panthers seem nothing more than filler at this point. And yes I know the 2 panthers eating Jason Stackhouse last week was important, I just don’t care about it, you know it’s gonna lead to another stupid storyline. To be honest, the best connected to that story line is my boy Sheriff Andy Bellefleur and his drug addiction. And Terry and Arlene are hilarious, but as always, my number one reason to watch – Jessica and Hoyt. ANYHOW – Tonight’s episode…

Spoilers Ahead…

We kick things off with a still bewildered Eric Northman, and a ‘mouthy as ever’ Sookie Stackhouse. Northman is now an amnesic and Sookie agrees to help him find himself. This bewilders me. Sookie hated Eric 10 minutes ago…

Cut to the hillbilly meth-heads and their stupid panther ritual. Oh Jason, stop dating crazy chicks already will ya… The old crazy panther man explains to us how they are agents of Mother Nature, and while most are born with the cat in them, they can also be changed. Like a werewolf.

The next we see is Bill passing judgment on a vampire who was dumb enough to get caught on YouTube feeding by some more rednecks. This results in the offending vampire being sentenced to the ‘true death’. That’s when my girl Jessica shows up, visiting her maker – King Bill for the first time in months. This led to an awesome moment of levity, with Jessica and Bill having a touching heart-to-heart as we hear the ominous screams of the YouTube Vamp being executed in the background. Classic.

Another part I found was hilarious was the following scene, when we got back to Sookie and Eric. She calls Fangtasia to tell Pam about Eric’s predicament, and Pam drops her meal and speeds there immediately. As Pam bursts in the door Eric jumps up and yells:

"Who the F@&% is that?"
“Who the F@&% is that?”

It was hilarious, I love amnesia Eric. As it turns out, Pam has some pretty dark ideas about Bill setting up Eric with the coven, and at some point she threatens Sookie, to which Eric takes exception. This is really the only way they could’ve done it. There is too much history between Sookie and Northman for them to have made amends without a Florence Nightingale scenario – ala George McFly and Lorraine Baines.

When Jessica got home her and Hoyt had it out about her biting another man, but I couldn’t pay attention to anything other than the creepy-ass doll he found in the bed. Apparently they’ve thrown it away several times and it keeps coming back. Now I can handle the vamps and werewolves and maenads, but I draw the line a creepy dolls you can’t throw away. What the f–k is that all about?!?!

Witches, Fairies, Human Panthers, Werewolves, Vampires, Shape-Shifters, and serial killers. This town is like Sunnydale, I keep waiting for Buffy to show up.

And through some confusion on my part, I was supposed to cover next week, not this. SO, we now join Megan’s review, already in progress….

The episode opens back with Sookie and Eric, the latter still very confused about who he is and what’s going on.  After a scuffle, and a well-aimed punch to Eric’s nose, he describes to her what happened back with the witches.  (He also accidentally calls her “Snooki” which I found pretty hilarious.)  Eric described the witch’s “cold, empty eyes” and how they reached into him and took everything he knew about himself.  He also went on about how this witch “was her, but it wasn’t her.”  This witch, Marnie, must be channeling something, or someone, much more powerful and evil than herself.  As one of our readers pointed out, it may have something to do with someone from the time period of the Spanish Inquisition.  Sookie agrees to help Eric retrieve his memories, so long as he doesn’t touch or bite her.

Marnie, meanwhile, is being patched up by her very angry coven.  When she is asked how she made him leave, she cannot remember.

Back in Hot Shot, Jason is shred to pieces from those crazy Panther People.  The residents are sitting around a campfire eating raw meat and listening to some old coot tell the story of their creation.  And then my eyes glazed over and I stopped listening because this story line makes me want to cry.  I think it’s time to just cut Jason out of the show.  First it was his crazy V-tripping girlfriend, and then it was his swashbuckling Jesus freak adventures.  I am sick of it.

Moving right along….

I still can’t wrap my head around this King Bill nonsense.  He looks like such a tool in his tight pants and shiny button-ups.  It’s a completely different Bill than we are used to seeing.  Jessica comes to see him to confess that she fed on a man that wasn’t Hoyt, and she asked Bill’s advice for what she should do.  Bill began preaching about openness and honesty, something he lacked when he was with Sookie.  And did I sense a look of regret on his face?

Sookie, meanwhile, has her hands full taking care of a very child-like Eric Northman.  She calls Pam and explains her situation.  Pam then rushes over, begging Sookie to keep an eye on Eric and keep him safe.  Pam insists that Bill sent Eric to the witches on purpose looking for ways to get him assassinated.  It wouldn’t be the first time those two didn’t see eye to eye, now would it?  It seems pretty obvious that Bill is still in love with Sookie, why wouldn’t he want to murder the man who was solely responsible for their breakup?

 Jessica is back home with Hoyt.  She’s taking Bill’s advice and telling him the truth, though it didn’t go so well.  She immediately glamors him into forgetting all about it.  What a clever trick to have up your sleeve.  You can tell anyone whatever you want to get it off your chest and then force them to forget it!  That’s ten times better than writing a mean letter to someone and throwing it away.

Andy is doing V. No one cares.

Sookie goes to visit Alcide, it’s about time we got to see him again!  The only downside – he’s back with that bitch, Debbie.  Apparently she’s changed for the better, but I don’t believe it. Sookie is trying to find somewhere to unload Eric, but this doesn’t seem to be the place.

Hoyt’s mom is still playing “fake son” with Tommy, Sam’s brother.  She is teaching him how to read, and he’s already learning how to exploit someone else who takes him in and cares for him.  A man comes to the door with an offer for some of her land which may have natural gas, and he swooped right in to take his card.

Back to Jason Stackhouse in Hot Shot, who is infected with all of his flesh wounds.  He’s one of those guys who’s only attracted to crazy women.  Like CRAZY crazy.

Tara and Sam get a chance to catch up, it was sufficiently awkward.  Jesus shows up to Merlotte’s looking for Lafayette, who has magically disappeared while Sam and Tara are doing Tequila shots.  They leave in a rush, worried that Lafayette is out to get himself killed by tracking down Eric Northman.

Bill is at a restaurant with one of his employees (the crazy chick from Dexter) it would seem.  He attempts to call Eric, who does not answer.

Sam has his hands full with Tommy, who tells him about Maxine’s house being situated on a treasure trove of natural gas.  Sam tries to convince Tommy to do the right thing and let her know about it.

Sookie returns home, True Blood in hand, to find that Eric has flown the coop.

Tara and Jesus arrive at Fangtasia to find Lafayette in the angry clutches of Pam.  They inform her that they know the witch who cast the spell on Eric, and may be able to find a way to reverse it.  Pam tells them to bring the witch to her, or she will kill each one of them.

Marnie, on the other hand, can be found in her apartment slicing her wrists open as a sacrifice to the Great Spirit and begging to be the conduit.  The young Spanish woman we saw in the previous episode dancing on Marnie’s face can also be seen sitting in the other room of Marnie’s apartment.

Sookie is still waiting up for Eric to return, when she gets a visit from her fairy godmother, who insists that Sookie must come with her to Fairy Land.  Sookie vehemently refuses, and then Eric comes out of nowhere and kills her.  The godmother, that is.

All in all, not a bad episode.  I find, though, more and more, that nothing really happens in a True Blood episode.  I finish them thinking, it can’t possibly be over (and not always in a good way).  I think that there is too much going on.  Sometimes, we just get one or two minute blips of people an episode, just as a reminder that they’re still on the show.  There are more new characters, twice as many as in the show’s genesis, and there seems like there is more a focus on giving everyone equal screen time than telling a good story.

For instance, Jason’s story line blows.  Sam’s story line blows.  Jessica and Hoyt are boring.  I could fastforward through their scenes and still know what’s going on in Bon Temps.  Maybe they ran out of ideas for the vampires, but it seems to me that all the True Blood fans want to see the plots develop around the vampires and Sookie, and we’re just not getting that right now.

Don’t get me wrong, Fiona Shaw as Marnie has been brilliant.  She’s insane.  Actually, I’m a lot more interested in these witches than I thought I would be.  I don’t think, however, that each season needs a theme, or to revolve around a new character.  If they would stick to the Bill/Sookie/Eric love triangle and focus more on the vampire politics, that would be most of the show right there.  And it would be brilliant.  I just miss the dynamic in the first season, I guess.

I give this episode 3.5 bears.

The creepy baby is chewing on the creepy doll!!!

HBO’S True Blood: First Three Minutes of Season Four

Looks like there’s a new sneak peek of the upcoming season of True Blood.  It features the opening 3 minutes of the upcoming season. I’ve also included some of the new promo posters. But before I begin my hesitant but necessary tirade, a warning for you of spoilers to come.

THERE ARE SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Now, let me begin.

I want to begin by letting everyone know that I truly love this show.  That being said, WHAT THE HELL???  What is this?  Is this a joke?  Did someone pay Anna Paquin to perform in a crappy play that they wrote?  After all this time, all this anticipation, this is what we’ve been given?  I don’t even know where to begin commenting on this ridiculousness.

I guess let me start with the idea of “fairy godmothers.”  I wasn’t aware that this was a Disney movie.  I also wasn’t aware that men had wombs, which is what I gather from the fact that they seem to also be mothers.  Seems like a pretty cool party.  Maybe they’ll all take out their magic wands and do some party tricks.  Maybe one of those pieces of glowing fruit will turn into a carriage later, that would be a real crowd pleaser.

Second of all, where the heck are they?  Fairy land?  Are they all fairies?  Do fairies go here to die?  Sookie is very confused, and so am I during this entire clip.  Especially when Bill Lumberg shows up at the end.  I assume the clip cuts off right before he asks Sookie if she’s putting cover letters on her TPS reports.

And thirdly, seriously HBO??  THIS is your marketing grab?  SERIOUSLY?  I looked at the time status bar ten times during this clip to see if it was almost over.  Something so drab and boring surely can’t be your request to get people to watch your show.

This is all very upsetting to me.  Coming into the new season, I had expected that we would get a story line focusing on fairies along with a sub-story about witches.  When it started getting over-publicized, we started getting bombarded with these two new magical creatures; which, as I’ve said before, are the only two they haven’t had on the show yet.  And now, after this monstrosity, I am nervous.  It all seems too eerily familiar to the meal-induced mind control story arc of the second season.  And the second season made me want to destroy my television set.

I can tell you how this story will go: the fairies seem perfect and helpful and kind, but they are not.  They are evil.  And Sookie will find a way to destroy them.  If I am correct, it’s all a little ‘been there done that’.

Here’s the video so you can judge for yourself.  Let me know what you think in the comments, because I feel like HBO just probed my brain and I can’t think straight anymore.

True Blood Season 4 Roundup – HBO’s Menagerie of Mythical Creatures

In the wake of Harold Camping‘s second failed rapture attempt, we can focus on something new and important to go on living for. Something right inside our television sets.  No, I’m not talking about Paula Abdul’s return to the small screen. I’m not talking about Ashton Kutcher replacing Charlie Sheen to keep the dumbest show in history on the air.  I’m not even talking about the much-anticipated third season of Teen Mom.  I can only be speaking of one thing: Season Four of True Blood, HBO’s best vampire show!  A new promo trailer was released for the upcoming season, and I have some things to say about it.

First and foremost though, if you have not finished the third season, please do not continue reading unless you’re a whore for spoilers like I am…

When we last left our friends in Bon Temps, situations were a little dicey.  The political fate of the vampires is left uncertain, thanks to the rash actions of the lovelorn Russell Edington, former King of Mississippi. In a twist, Sookie learns that she is a fairy. Bill tries to murder Eric; who escapes to tell Sookie the truth behind the fateful night she met her lover, Bill. Sam comes out to Tara that he is a shape-shifter, and Lafayette learns that his new boyfriend – Jesus, is a witch. Hoyt cuts ties with his mother due to his relationship with Jessica, because she does not approve of him dating a vampire.  And Jason Stackhouse finds himself the leader of the inbred, poverty-stricken shape-shifters in Hot Shot.  This is a raunchy, supernatural soap opera that can only be found on True Blood!

This is the obligatory (Kronner Required) Jessica pic for this post.

Season four will focus on some new supernaturals: fairies and witches.  We’ve had vampires, werewolves, shape-shifters, and even a maenad – it was only a matter of time before we came upon fairies and witches.  We will find out where Sookie went in the last scene of season three.  We will learn more about Jesus (Kevin Alejandro), who suddenly has all this free time since he was killed off on Southland.  We will see the building struggle of vampires’ attempts to be accepted in mainstream society and battle their oppression from the very vocal religious community.  And, God bless it, we better get some more of that Bill/Sookie/Eric love triangle that drags us in so deliciously.

I’m curious to see how this season will play out with the introduction of so many different types of creatures.  Sometimes I feel like True Blood tries to take on too much too fast and can tend to sacrifice good story telling for the sake of hitting all the hipster supernatural trends.  I hope this season focuses more on the political aspects of the vampires, rather than revolving so much on these new characters.

I like a fairy as much as the next person (though mentally, all I can do is picture Anna Paquin dressed up as Tinkerbell).  But there is so much meaty story-telling that can be done just with the characters that already exist.

I have an eerie feeling that much of the season will focus on this new coven that magically (pun intended) showed up in town.  While I thoroughly enjoy the show, there are only two different ways that this kind of story line could play out.  Either it will add to the intrigue of the overall story and characters (cross your fingers), or it will detract from it.  I’m really hoping the story will hearken itself to the first season with its engrossing mystery and nearly flawless story-telling, but this show can go either way. I have yet to re-watch season two purely based on the fact that the Maryann story arc makes me want to jam pencils in my eye sockets.

All things considered, I’m super amped for the new season.  I’m at least guaranteed well-written characters, a beautifully horrendous amount of gore, and that great production value I spend an extra $14 a month for.  And please, PLEASE, give Jason a story line this season that doesn’t turn my brain into applesauce! What did you think?