Super Bowl Commercials: Best and Worst of 2013

Super Bowl Commercials: Best and Worst of 2013

Yea yea the Ravens won and the 49ers lost, but we all know what’s important here – the commercials. So let’s dive right in and look at some of the best, and of course, some of the worst from last night’s Super Bowl XLVII.

I’m a good news first kind of gal so let’s start with the best offerings of the night.

Being from St. Louis, I’m a sucker for those Budweiser Clydesdales. Even more so, the one sentimental commercial Budweiser does each year with the Clydesdales. They are often a highlight for me and this year was no different. The board might have sold their souls to the highest bidder and taken down a city’s proud claim to fame with it, but they can still put together a heartwarming ad spot.

What do you get when you take Oprah’s voice, the USO, and images of military homecomings? A tear-jerker. There are a lot of people crying foul this morning saying that Jeep is “using” the military for their own corporate end and that the words “whole again” are incorrect because we are a fractured country and it’s just Obama propaganda and for the love of all that’s holy people, it’s a commercial! Are there people who will go out and buy a Jeep specifically because of this ad? Maybe. That’s what ads are for, but they could have just gotten up and told us how awesome Jeeps are and why we should buy one. They didn’t and their resulting commercial was quite nice.

The funny commercials didn’t seem that funny this year. Either I’m getting too old for the average commercial humor, or they just weren’t that funny remains to be seen. However, Tide did a great job this year with “Miracle Stain”. I literally laughed out loud when the guy was telling the story of how the Joe Montana shaped stain ended up on his jersey. That and “stain on a stick” had me rolling. Well done Tide.

This seemed to be the year for poignant and sentimental and Dodge/Chrysler hit the ball out of the park. Even if you aren’t a God person, or a truck person, or even a farmer person, you have to admit their spot was beautiful. Combining Paul Harvey reading his “So God Made a Farmer” with pictures of farmers and their families and their land was so well done.

Unfortunately you can’t have good without the bad so here goes.

Can we all come together and agree that it’s time for Psy and “Gangnam Style” to ride off into the sunset? He’s done a Super Bowl commercial so now he can go ahead and let the clock run out on his 15 minutes? Seriously, it’s old now.

Gildan makes tshirts. In my experience, Gildan makes tshirts that retailers purchase to screen print their own image onto. I don’t know that I’ve ever gone out shopping with the express intent of purchasing a Gildan tshirt. Their commercial did nothing to change that. It probably wins the “what on earth was their goal with this ad?” award of this Super Bowl.

Apparently Coke has been running commercials in the last few weeks of the first part of their “Coke Chase” and then encouraging people to go and vote for their favorite team who will then win on Super Bowl night. There were no winners with this ad. None at all. If you hadn’t seen any of the previous Coke commercials (like myself) you saw the first commercial and thought “oh well that’s cute”. Then you saw the second commercial and thought “I really hope they weren’t expecting people to be waiting for this because it is awful.” Granted they are dealing with 30 second increments but that was the most anticlimatic commercial in recent memory. Maybe next year Coke.

The entire universe, even including those without internet or television, agrees that Go Daddy had the worst commercial of the night. One might go out on a limb and suggest that it was the worst commercial ever.

Of course there are plenty of people who are crying foul that those who hated it just do so because it was a nerd kissing a supermodel but they are wrong. It is disgusting because no one, NO ONE, wants to hear that or see tongues that close up. The worst part? They edited that down! There is an extended version out there that includes a lot more tongue and it is just that much more revolting. Blech.

However we can thank Go Daddy for removing numerous things from the list of “grossest thing ever”.

  • Watching and listening to my dog lick himself two inches from my face.
  • Andrew Zimmern chewing. (seriously they need to either move his mic or edit that in post because it’s bad.)
  • Lindsay Lohan in Liz and Dick
  •  The word ‘moist’.

So there is it, this year’s best and worst Super Bowl commercials. But wait! What about all the awesome movie trailers that aired during the game? Well you can check all those out over here- Super Bowl XLVII Trailers and TV Spots!

Let the countdown to football season begin!

KRONNER’S EDITORIAL NOTE – This was probably the weakest year for Super Bowl ads in memory. No Clint Eastwood or Eminem talking about how sweet Detroit is, no ‘Terry Tate: Office Linebacker’, and way less boobs than normal. The only memorable commercials of the year for me were the ones with Tracy Morgan and the old people at Taco Bell. Boom.

and finally, a few days BEFORE the Super Bowl, GEICO released this gem – which would have been the best of the night if it qualified…

Also, Leon Sandcastle: