May 25th kicked off the start of the sophomore season for the anthology series Femme Fatales. When last season closed, we were treated to a two-part finale (Visions Part 1 and Part 2) that tied together several episodes, and also dropped some hints about the background of Lilith. As season 2 begins however, all of that stuff is put on the back burner as we start the cycle of new characters all over.
In the premiere they take a stab at the ‘Reality TV’ industry. In the style of a ‘Big Brother’ type of show, 6
B-List C-List Celebs fill out the cast, locked in ‘The Hot House’ with no way to contact the outside world. Let’s take a look shall we?
So once we’re introduced to the socialite, the actress, the party girl, the meathead, the d-bag, and the failed musician, it’s not long before they start dying. Locked in a house with no outside contact means one of two things – either someone else is hiding in there with them, or one of these 6 losers is in fact the killer.
The carnage begins with the discovery of Tina’s body in the bathtub, blowdryer in the water with her. Upon the discovery of Tina’s body immediate distrust surfaces with allegations flying every which way, and the fact that near everyone on the house was schtooping one and other, there are motives everywhere.
Initial accusations are flung all over from Pecs to Bebe to Roger, it seems everyone had some reason to want Tina dead. My initial suspicion however was aimed at Lucky Starr, our American Idol-type reject who is clinging to his ever falling star with the utmost desperation. It’s not long however before we get another body. Roger collapses in the middle of an argument with Bebe and it’s none other than Luck Starr who theorizes that ol’ Roger’s teeth whitener must’ve been poisoned.
This second murder is different from the first which happened off camera, as all the cast members are present and accounted for, this lends credence the possibility that it is in fact the producers screwing with the cast and killing them off for ratings. So with 4 survivors, they decide the best thing to do next is to…you guessed it. Split up.
While searching the house our pairs make very different discoveries. Lucky discovers Angel riding him like a dime store pony, while Pecs and Bebe discover a gun. In Lucky’s room. What decades of murder mysteries have taught me at this point is that Lucky is getting screwed. Twice. First in the literal sense by Angel, but then in either the “I’m gonna frame your dumbass” sense by the killer, or the “this is a big misunderstanding” sense by people who don’t understand. I mean come on, Lucky just left a gun lying out on his nightstand and then sent the other group to search the bedrooms, and this is not gonna make them think he’s the killer? This is the point where I knew he wasn’t the killer.
As Pecs and Bebe come out to confront him about it though, they find him alone. Angel is missing and ol’ Lucky, well he’s just chilling by himself. That doesn’t look odd at all. So when the 3 of them go to Angel, and discover a knife in her belly, Pecs decides he had about enough of the Talent Show Loser…
Pecs choke slams Mr. Starr, and in a last-ditch effort to save himself…
Lucky smashed Pecs’ head in with a 25 lb Weight Plate. Now Lucky, who as far as I know had not actually killed anyone to this point, has blood on his hands. It’s only after this that he really attempts to explain to Bebe that the gun she found, isn’t real. Despite this, she still doesn’t trust the wannabe pop singer, so she bludgeons him to death with the fake gun.
And then there was one.
From here Bebe heads for the previously locked door to find in now open, but much to her disappointment, the TV crew that should be on the other side of the door, is dead as well. Seemingly poisoned…
With the body count now up to 8, we’re running low on suspects. Is this a High Tension situation? Is Bebe crazy and killing everyone herself? Is there another mystery suspect we haven’t met? Is there a Scooby-Doo villain around the corner?
Nope. Turns out it’s all just a case of Tom-foolery. The
lost Kardashian actress is still alive. Lucky’s name is officially cleared (You know, other than killing Pecs. And being dead and all.) Turns out Angel, well, that bitch is total crazy-town. Her hair-brained scheme sounds like something from a Scream movie. She was gonna kill everyone, and make it look like she was the lone survivor (ala Billy Loomis), thus launching her career into stardom. She started with poisoning the crew and Roger, and the electrocuting Tina. After that, it was all a matter of just playing puppet master over the other morons in the house. Then in true super-villain fashion, she takes the time to explain everything to Bebe…
From here out there is an epic girl on girl, frying pan vs. frying pan, cat fight that results in putting an end not only to Angel’s plan, but likely to her aspirations of being a Hollywood starlet as well…
So Bebe is now the one who’ll be showered with fame while the deformed Angel rots in prison. That’s karma…
So I like how they played it out. Jabs taken at reality TV shows in specific, as well as the genre as a whole were all well deserved. However, I do question the realism given that ‘The Hot House’ is supposed to be a premium cable, all-star (or what passes for all-star now) cast of sociopaths and narcissists, and yet there’s not a single blonde chick? Pretty shaky.
I’d say the real weakness of this episode was though, that the kills were a little on the tame side compared to what we’ve come to expect from the show. Pecs and Lucky each get their heads caved in with blunt instruments and we don’t even see any blood? Weak sauce. And then 4 of the deaths are by poison, and 3 of those happen off screen? Not a fan of off-screen kills, what is this, Grizzly Park?
That said there were several parts I loved, and almost all of them involved Angel. While we didn’t see the TV crew die, we did get to see how creepy she could be when she delivered the deadly brownies, and the fight with Bebe where she gets her face lit on fire was pretty epic. Overall, still one of the most entertaining half-hours on television.
I’d give it a 3.5/5
Until next episode…Tweet #GrizzlyBomb