June 19, 2011

A Game of Thrones – Top Ten Kills (Season 1)

Game of Thrones Leadin

I love Game of Thrones. It has a great story, awesome actors along with the characters they play and the set pieces and production value on the show are staggering. But if you want to get down to the nitty-gritty, and talk about some of the more primitive likings of the show, then look no further than the gory and most times inventive ways of people getting killed. From beheadings to burnings and bludgeoning to maulings, Game of Thrones has a pretty impressive list of ways certain characters died a horrible death. Some made us cry but the majority of them made us go -“AWWW SWEET!” So without further adieu let’s take a look at the top ten. I advise everyone to give the GIF images time to load because they are well worth the wait…

10.) Moon Door

Noble Ser Vardis decided to take on the sellsword Bronn for the honor of his crazy liege lady Lysa Arryn, and he did so in full battle armor. What a baaaaaaaaaaad idea. Bronn was able to move nimbly as Vardis stumbled all about trying to kill him and then picked him apart until finally ending it with sword through him and a one way trip out the Moon Door.

Game of Thrones

Moon Door


9.) Joker Kill

I don’t know why anyone would take on someone from a place called ‘Bear Island’ because that is just a bad ass sounding place. Unfortunately one of Khal Drogo’s blood riders thought it a good choice to do just that. Jorah however proved to be the better man in his armor by giving his opponent a permanent smile.

Jorah Joker KillGame of Thrones

8.) Shield Smash

Our favorite little man illustrates to a member of the Hill Tribes that you don’t screw with a Lannister…. especially a dwarf one. Years of mistreatment by his daddy Tywin really planted some rage in Tyrion, but it definitely did him some good on this excursion.

Game of Thrones


7.) An Eye Stab

Poor Jory… in the same episode he was reliving old war memories with Jaime Lannister about almost losing an eye, the incestuous twin son of a bitch makes it a reality. Jory bravely took on the Kingslayer man to man but didn’t get very far.

Jory Cassell

6.) Bran’s Assassin Thwarted

Wouldn’t it be great if a company offered Direwolves for sale for home security? They can threaten people in a variety of ways including mangling hands, biting off fingers and ripping out throats. Really the guy in the series who got throat ripped by Bran’s direwolf Summer totally deserved it since he was trying to cut the throat of a 10-year-old. Remember kids, crime doesn’t pay! And you’ll get your throat torn out by a wolf.

Bran's Wolf SummerGame of Thrones


5.) The Chopped Horse

I highly doubt that anyone expected this kill. I’ve actually seen people complaining on message boards about not enough people caring about the horse dying when everyone cared about Ned Stark dying…. each to their own I suppose. Anyways, Ser Gregor taught that horse a lesson of never getting excited by a mare in heat again. Especially during a joust for God’s sake! Come on!

Game of Thrones


4.) Blood Gurgle

This guy just had “DEAD” written all over him. He had information that Ned wanted involving a possible murder of the previous ‘Hand’ and when the joust was happening there was no way he was making it out of there alive. And DEAD he did end up… after about a minute of throat gurgles and blood bubbles.

Game of Thrones


3.) Royal Beheading

This one wasn’t a creative kill or even a graphic one. (it even happened mostly off-screen.) But the shock and unexpectedness of Ned’s death definitely rang true for fan’s old and new. Obviously the little shit Joffrey didn’t hold to the Ned Stark rule -“The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword.”

Ned Stark

2.) Throat Rip

Drogo isn’t one to trifle with that’s for sure, especially when it comes to his wife. This fella had to learn the hard as MacGruber Khal Drogo fights him with no weapons and still manages to rip out his throat complete with a tongue bonus! Talk about owned! I really expect this kind of stuff from Jason Momoa in his turn as Conan the Barbarian this August.

Game of Thrones


1.) A Golden Crown

If you’re going for kills based on ingenuity, shock value and execution than this one had it all. We were all waiting for our favorite Dragon Prince to get his comeuppance and there was no better way than a nice face full of molten metal. Viserys screaming as it happened left me half horrified and half ecstatic. Then when his head clanked to the ground I couldn’t help but laugh a little. Does that make me a bad person?

Game of Thrones

Well, who’d we miss? Was there an awesome kill not on the list? Let us know…

About the Author

Stephen Sanchez
This one time I ate a whole bucket of boiled peanuts, and I like to have got sick. Hi! I work a very stressful and serious job... and this one isn't so bad and that's why I do it. It's fun. I can win at Star Wars Trivial Pursuit in two moves. How many grown men can say that? And why would they say that?

Catherine Henry-Greskovic
Catherine Henry-Greskovic

I though Cassius was killed before the Parthians pour gold in his mouth. Hmmm. Going to have to look that up.


What about the first episode with the white walker and the terrifying blue eyed reanimated child zombie thing that killed the night watchmen! That was a pretty creepy monster