TV

May 30, 2011

The 10 Worst Superhero TV Projects

The 10 Worst Superhero TV Projects

TV and Superheroes rarely mix well, and on the off-chance they do it probably isn’t the best representation of superheroes on the market. Smallville worked, Lois & Clark kind of worked. That’s… about… it. So it’s obviously time to present a list about some of these less than awesome superhero shows. The problem was I had TOO many shows/TV movies to choose from, so I expect to hear about what I’ve missed or that my choices suck or that I need to put down the fork. Wait, what? Anyways, let’s get to the list. We didn’t stick to comic heroes, because sometimes the ones created just for television pretty much define this list.

My Secret Identity

10.) My Secret Identity


It’s possible this show missed a lot of people’s radar as it was a Canadian TV series, but it aired in syndication in the States. I personally loved this show as a kid, but giving it another look kind brought shame to my younger self. Might have to re-evaluate my love for Biker Mice From Mars.

My Secret Identity is basically Back to the Future meets The Sentry, except no god like powers or Time Travel. Let me explain. Jerry O’ Connell, the fat kid from Stand By Me (he probably hates it when people call him that) plays Andrew Clements, a 14-year-old kid who is zapped by a photon beam while helping his neighbor, 4th smartest man in the world Dr. Benjamin Jeffcoat (the fact that he’s a smart guy inventor dude is obviously the B2TF connection), played by Derek McGrath. Obviously, this grants him super powers (a la The Sentry… sort of). Super speed, Invulnerability, and levitation, with super strength added in later seasons, because why not? He actually used aerosol cans to direct his flight for a time, but that was changed pretty quick.

If you recognized his friend Kirk, played by Christopher Bolton, then you’ve probably seen another Canadian show called Rent-A-Goalie, and I applaud you. Regardless, this show is a terrible excuse at a superhero show, made even more so with Degrassi level quality and Canadian film mentalities. No offense to my homeland’s cinema, but… well…

M.A.N.T.I.S.

9.) M.A.N.T.I.S.

I was really on the fence over adding this show to the list. It had so many great things going for it that even as a kid I rooted for it. First African-American Superhero on TV, the pilot was directed by Sam Raimi (The Evil Dead, Spider-Man) and written by Sam Hamm (Batman), and it had a $1.4 million per episode budget. This was in 1994.

M.A.N.T.I.S. (Mechanically Augmented Neuro Transmitter Interception System) was worn by Dr. Miles Hawkins (played by Carl Lumbly, who would later go on to voice the Martian Manhunter in the Justice League animated series), a handicapped scientist who decides to fight crime after inventing his super suit. The season was bogged down with numerous changes in story over the course of the season, and they actually killed off the main character in the final episode. He died while fighting a giant dinosaur. Seriously.

While this show suffered from the presentation and effects, it still wasn’t even that bad. Those who remember M.A.N.T.I.S. usually do so with fondness and a desire to rewatch the series, which is where the problem lies. Still deservedly holds a place in superhero TV history, just not a place on my DVD shelf.

The Amazing Spider-Man

8.) The Amazing Spider-Man

What? There was a live action Spidey TV Movie? Yeah, but it wasn’t very good, which is a nice way of saying it was terrible. I may be a bit judgmental, seeing as how I wasn’t even a glimmer in my parents eyes when it came out, but I just couldn’t enjoy it when I watched it as a young Spider-Man fan. The music was cheesy, his webs were laughable, and his spider-sense turned his eyes all kaliedoscope-y. Not to mention it looked like it would take forever for Spidey to climb a building. Plus, there were no members of Spidey’s rogues gallery, because apparently Spidey is the only person in that world who ever felt like throwing on some tights and fighting crime!

This movie actually spawned an even lamer TV series, if that’s possible. They then proceeded to make the costume worse than it was in the TV movie, much like they did with everything else that was wrong with it. Sorry Nicholas Hammond, but no. Wrong. You are not Peter Parker.

Mutant X

7.) Mutant X

Have you ever read an X-Men comic? Have you read it, and then wondered what it would be like to see it horribly ripped off with lame characters and terrible special effects? Well, look no further, because Mutant X brought us multiple seasons of lame storylines, terrible ‘villains’, bad acting and the worst X-Ripoff since… ever. Seriously, this show makes me vomit. I’m not even lying. I watched the pilot episode and got violently ill. And somehow this show got more than one season. How is that possible?


It shames me to put it on the list that’s how bad it was. The over the top characters that were clearly all based off of some of the core X-Men mutants that didn’t even try to hide the similarities. The team was basically comprised of alternate reality versions of Cyclops, Jean Grey, Wolverine, Shadowcat, and Professor X. Actually, if you picture it as an alternate X-men reality… no.. .no… it’s still really bad.

Generation X

6.) Generation X

Now on to an actual adaptation of an X-series that isn’t just a lame ripoff. Still pretty lame, unfortunately. If you read X-Men comics in the 90’s chances are, you saw an ad for this made for TV movie and actually got excited. I was an avid X-reader in the 90’s, and I tuned in for the 2-hour special event… and then I turned it off. It was no good. Emma Frost wasn’t hot, Banshee wasn’t cool, the kids were nothing like the comics. I mean, Jubilee was white. Not that I’m a stickler for race continuity, I voted for Donald Glover as Spider-Man, a decision I still support highly. It was just a mixture of all the little details put together that ruined this one for me. And I was a pretty big Gen X fan.  The trailer was so terrible I’m going to show you a theoretical intro that was created:

Wow, that was still bad.  As far as TV movies go, it’s not as bad as some of the other ones on this list, but it’s still firmly rooted here. A forgettable storyline and terrible casting, special effects, and overall laziness leaves a bad taste in the mouths of X-fans everywhere. Even worse than the X-Men Origins: Wolverine aftertaste. Bleh.

Night Man

5.) Night Man

Who the eff is Night Man, you ask? No, he’s not the fighter of the Dayman. He’s a hero from a long dead Marvel imprint. His biggest adventure may have been a crossover with Wolverine once, but who hasn’t done that at one point or another? As for the show itself, I would say picture a young Bill Clinton with night based superpowers and a recovering mullet. Seriously! This dude rocks out his Jazz Saxophone and then costumes up and beats the crap out of bad guys. Sounds awesome, right? It wasn’t. At all. For some reason my Dad absolutely loved the show, but check out the trailer and judge for yourself.

Batman mixed with the Saxman from Lost Boys pretty much describes this guy to a T.

Nick Fury: Agent of .S.H.I.E.L.D.

4.) Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D

Two words; David Hasslehoff. David. Freaking. Hasslehoff.  I don’t think I even need to talk about this one, just watch the trailer and tremble before the raw talent the Hoff brings to Marvel’s Chief Spy. It also featured Sandra Hess, who you may remember as Sonja in Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, which came out a year before this…

The movie was low quality, and Hasslehoff was his usual self, which is like a bad cross between Rambo and Baywatch. Not that there really is a good pairing of those two. There is one honorable mention, as this is the first credited appearance of Stan Lee in a cameo, which he’s continued in most marvel films today[Ed. Note -  The Trial of the Incredible Hulk in 1989featured Lee's first uncredited cameo, as pointed out by commenter Jason X. Thanks for the catch there Voorhees!]

Doctor Strange

3.) Doctor Strange

It’s the 70’s, The Incredible Hulk is smashing airwaves and Marvel is trying to keep the train rolling. Unfortunately, with every attempt they fail pretty abysmally. Doctor Strange was another made for TV movie that I’m pretty sure nobody has seen, but it was made memorable for it’s frequent use of man-falling-into-kaleidoscope-background.

The film was created as a backdoor pilot, with the hopes of receiving a full series order, but there is no surprise why that never actually happened. Starring Peter Hooten as a kind of hippy Stephen Strange, this film had one redeeming quality that lasts to this day; Lucille Bluth Malory Archer Jessica Walter played the villain of the film, Morgan le Fay, and if there’s one role she can play well, it’s that of a villain.

Captain America

2.) Captain America

Now I know what your thinking. Your thinking that I am going to talk about the 90’s Captain America movie that was terrible and should never have been made. Well, you’re wrong. Not about the movie, it was horrible. I’m actually talking about another made for TV movie that Marvel released in the 70’s, and this one featured Cap like you’ve never seen him before. Picture Evil Knievel… well I was going to try to mix it with something else but that’s pretty much it. Evil Knievel with a shield. And not just any shield. This shield pulled double duty as Cap’s wind screen on his bike. This guy was efficient.

The craziest thing about this? It spawned a sequel, another terrible made for TV movie. What happened in the 70’s people? Was this considered acceptable entertainment? No, no it wasn’t.

Justice League of America

1.) Justice League of America

Wow, I really don’t even know where to start with this one. I mean, it’s quite an obscure selection of members, with terrible costumes for each and every one of them. Mix in lame special effects and a terrible story with a dash of bad acting and you’re left with this piece of crap. As soon as this pilot was announced it was doomed to failure. The main villain is the Weather Wizard, so you know it’s going to be terrible. But you can check that out for yourself in this promo set to the Justice League cartoon’s music:

You can clearly see why this takes the #1 spot of the worst TV Movies/Series. Man, that was terrible. It actually hurts to watch, and that was only one minute of it. I challenge you to find and watch each of these picks, and decide for yourself, if you can stomach it.

Honorable Mention: David E. Kelley’s Wonder Woman

Okay, this one’s kind of a cheat. But it had to have been really bad for every network to pass on even making the pilot. Then NBC decided to give it a chance, and it still failed most heinous. I hope this one gets leaked to us like the failed Aquaman pilot. Wait a minute… Adrianne Palicki was in that one too. I think we’ve figured this one out, folks. Stop casting Adrianne Palicki in your pilots.

And that’s my Top Ten worst attempts at the small screen superhero. What do you think? Did I miss some crucial choices? Were you a closet fan of My Secret Identity? Sound off in the comments section below!




About the Author

Scott Fraser
Hi. I'm Internet's Supascoot. I talk comics, movies, and write stuff about stuff. I like long walks to the bathroom, I exercise non-regularly and I can make one hell of a meat salad. No, that is not a sexual position. Yet...




27 comments
Herb
Herb

I have 2 words: Black Scorpion - that was SUPER Cheesy - bad acting, bad plots, bad costumes - you name it. Surely MANTIS or My Secret Identity is better than Black Scorpion. Regarding the Spidey Series on TV: I still have nightmares about his giant rope/cable-sized spider-webs. OMG that was bad, Bad, BAD...

BSmithy
BSmithy

The Doctor Strange movie was actually pretty good, especially for the time. I just watched in on YouTube 2 yrs ago and enjoyed it. And the score in that show? Fantastic! They took some risks and many paid off.

Jonny V
Jonny V

Does anyone else remember the TRON rip-off AUTOMAN from 1983?

Allen
Allen

Is it wrong that the special effects for Green Lantern seem better than that Ryan Reynolds debacle.

Nathan M.
Nathan M.

The Flash TV show wasn't that great either. But Captain America was the worst of the worst. I actually liked the Doctor Strange show, even though the special effects were kind of silly (come on, it was 1978). And I agree with you on Generation X. The only character they got right was Skin (I can't forgive them for replacing Chamber and Husk with 'Refrax' and 'Buff' - just stupid).

Brian
Brian

The JLA wasn't really that bad, I'd watch it

il princerino
il princerino

Adrienne Palicki was in the Supernatural pilot as well, but they killed her off almost immediately so maybe that's why its still going strong.

Jason X
Jason X

Actually, Stan Lee made his first Marvel movie cameo in the made-for-TV film "The Trial of the Incredible Hulk." He is one of the jurors in the courtroom when Banner is questioned and Hulks out. Unlike most, I actually liked the "Spider-Man" TV series. When I was a little kid it was supremely awesome to see a live-action Spidey. Now that I'm older and wiser, I can see why most people think it's horrible. Plus they really had no business trying to do Spidey with the limited special effects available at the time. But I don't think the series was worse than the original movie; quite the opposite. Just my $.02.

Hector
Hector

You forgot "Tattoed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills". The title alone awards it at least a number #3 spot on this list.

Sanctum Sanctorum Comix
Sanctum Sanctorum Comix

First off... 1970's Spider-Man live TV show was awesome. I'd love to watch it and enjoy its cheesy goodness right now. Secondly... of COURSE I've seen the DOCTOR STRANGE pilot movie. Heck, it's my YouTube video(s) you link to (thanks for the traffic) and even my graphics that you're using (still with my original file name). LOL If anyone wants to read an insanely detailed review of the film and the related swag and stuff, check out my post(s) about it all: http://sanctumsanctorumcomix.blogspot.com/2009/02/magic-of-video-part-i-c-review-dr.html I'm sure our host won't mind. Just make sure to come back here for more of grizzlybomb content. I don't want to steal their readers... just borrow them for awhile. ~P~ Sanctum Sanctorum Comix blog

bubaroni
bubaroni

if i was a muti millionaire, id have episodes of nightman recorded just for me to watch.

theatheistgirl
theatheistgirl

Nice list, but I think someone has clearly not seen 'My Hero'. And I've seen the Doctor Strange tv movie!

Charles Napier
Charles Napier

HEY, Is the captain america actor the same guy who played 'blaster' in UNCOMMOM VALOR?

Toni Smith
Toni Smith

Looking at this list, and realizing that a Justice league show is going to be retarded regardless of what you do on account that the Justice League is fucking retarded; I gotta say Scoot, this is less of a list of the worst TV Superheroes, but more of a list of TV Superheroes I want inside me.

SupaScoot
SupaScoot

Wow Out of this World that takes me back man. I didn't think Id take heat over MY SECRET IDENTITY, figuring it wouldn't hit the outside world's radar, but as a SUPERHERO show it fails. I mean, i remember episodes where he saves endangered species by helping with a city wide vote. Yes, it was a good show and I remember it fondly, but the SUPERhero-ism just is not present.

bubaroni
bubaroni

LISTEN HERE, i'll tell you sons of bitches what the fuck was tits, that god damn intro to nightman. DID YOU HEAR THE AWESOME SAX A PLAYIN'? DID YOU SEE THE BADASS PYLMOTH PROWLER? DID YOU SEE THE FUCKING HOLOGRAM SAX PLAYIN BODY DOUBLE? A DOOD PLAYIN' LT.DANN? ARE YOU SERIOUS? i have so many questions that need to be answered, can he fly by himself? WHO THE FUCK DOES EARL HOFFMAN PLAY? and what's the badass half cyborg red eye???? i must watch this show.

Toni Smith
Toni Smith

I gotta agree with Kronner- How fucking dare you dis "My Secret Identity," It's especially fucked up coming from a Canadian, you guys did something rad, so accept it. Hating on My Secret Identity is on par with reneging You Can't do That on Television, or apologizing for Rush. There is no shame in liking My Secret Identity, I would watch that show every goddamn Saturday along with Out of This World after cartoons, but before Soul Train, and goddammit, it was tits.

darthsaeris
darthsaeris

That JLA video made me want to kill myself

SupaScoot
SupaScoot

I loved it as a kid too but it just doesn't hold up when compared to, ya know, good shows

Dr. Kronner
Dr. Kronner

Mothertrucker - MY SECRET IDENTITY was the shit! I loved my Canadian TV as a kid...

Scott Fraser
Scott Fraser

Hmmmm. Yep, no, it was really, really, really bad.

Toni Smith
Toni Smith

Well, it was a kid's show, so episodes where the protagonists does something to teach the audience a lesson on civic duties and what have you is bound to happen. But I would rather see a thousand corny save the rec center episodes than another retarded anime inspired piece of cartoon garbage.

Dr. Kronner
Dr. Kronner

I don't doubt it would be terrible today.

Dr. Kronner
Dr. Kronner

I for sure had a crush on Maureen Flannigan. OUT OF THIS WORLD was fucking TITS!

SupaScoot
SupaScoot

Try watching the whole pilot, which I did, and can no longer eat cheese, as I have had my eternal fill of it